Most Helpful Customer Reviews
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Real world fantasy, April 10, 2009
Many books try to create the atmosphere of everyday life as a setting for fantasy, but this one succeeds. I think it's due to the carefully paced first scene, in which we get a chance to see narrator Jerry Dole at his very ordinary job. A few tantalizing asides suggest that there's something more to his life, but by the time his old friend Elise asks him to help her investigate a sinister piece of earth, we're fully in our own world and ready to suspend disbelief.
I do have a brief comment about Elise -- I'm wondering if she's to be an important character (I suspect she is). If so, I'd like to see more of her during her conversation with Jerry -- I know she's tall and redheaded but I would like to see her face and hear the quality of her voice. I'd like her to be as clear in my mind as the delightful Ronnie, Jerry's scrawny and earnest co-worker. My greatest joy came when Ronnie showed up wanting to work with Jerry on his *other* job -- a very pleasant surprise. Unfortunately for me, the excerpt ended just there. I can't wait to read more.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Yes!, March 27, 2009
Heh, your dad's a dolphin. My favorite kind of books are ones that grip me with writing style and keep me captivated with their characters, and this is exactly the kind of book Skeleton Army is. In fact, Mr. Laukkonen, would you be willing to email it to me so I can read the whole thing?
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3.0 out of 5 stars
Something spooky this way comes..., March 24, 2009
Okay, I'm not really up on all the Buffy, Angel, Charmed, whoever spin-off demon hunting kind of themes, so I wouldn't know if some of this is basic 'duh' information or not, but it appears to me that this writer has come up with some pretty elaborate back story, including 'how to do this' and 'what to do it with', that lends credibility and believability to a solid story line. And the story line thus far has me way interested! In fact, when the Hunter gets done, send him down to southern California. I've got a spooky patch of dirt around my pine tree in which nothing will grow either!
The narrative voice for the protagonist is simple and unpretentious which is exactly as it should be given who he is. But that is all the more reason to really sharpen the editing pencil on this piece. The reader needs less in general description and more in specifics. "That went back into my jacket along with the hunting knife and penlight." What are the chances that he's going to leave the knife and light? The bottle here is the focus: "That went into my inside jacket pocket for protection." On the flip side, jumping into the relationship with Jerry and Elise and Tex like the reader should already know about it and why she ditched him and what a Hunter is, well, unless for some psychic reason we should, it needs more leading and explanation. How is he carrying this "wicked long hunting knife"? Why should the reader know or care what a Hollie is? Also, a check in Strunk & White on the frequent use of the word 'than' will reveal there are some instances when the comparative use is missing a necessary preposition, and there are some cases where another word might be a better choice. Some punctuation errors, grammar, dialog that's a little forced, it's all little stuff, I know, but when it's a bunch of little stuff together it detracts from the story, and this one has all the potential of delivering a ball-busting ride! Bring it on!
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