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That Went Well: Adventures in Caring for My Sister Hardcover – Bargain Price, January 6, 2009

by Terrell Harris Dougan (Author)
4 out of 5 stars 65 customer reviews
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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 224 pages
  • Publisher: Hyperion (January 6, 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1401323294
  • ASIN: B002DYJKNO
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 8.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (65 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,596,268 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Top Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5 starsexcellent book, both touching and funny
By critters VINE VOICE on January 10, 2009
Format: Hardcover Vine Customer Review of Free Product ( What's this? )
Terrell Dougan and her family are my kind of people; even at the sad points they're cracking jokes. Are we really that unusual? I hope not, because sometimes it's just better to laugh than cry, and it's more socially acceptable anyway.

The story of Irene's life is an incredible one, from her birth in 1946 until now. I have to laugh at all of Irene's tricks to manipulate her sister and her caregivers; it's all SO true, and mental retardation does NOT mean stupid!!

If you're afraid this book will be dull, drab, and depressing, don't be! I don't find it that way at all. It's human and real, but funny just the same.
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4.0 out of 5 starsFrank, warm and funny, with some powerful lessons to share
By A. Reid VINE VOICE on January 11, 2009
Format: Hardcover Vine Customer Review of Free Product ( What's this? )
Terrell Harris Dougan writes primarily about her experiences as a caretaker and the impact on her life not only of a mentally disabled sister, but a physically disabled mother. Although she shares enough details of her personal story to give us a good sense of her as a person--where she came from, what factors have formed her--she focuses more (and best) on the issues raised by her caretaking.

Challenging work it is. Dougan does not seem to censor her experiences; there is real pain in what she does, though she does not wallow, but tries to bear all with resignation and humor that evidently can't be long suppressed. This book managed to raise both tears and laughter in me--sometimes, at the same time. To quote _Steel Magnolias_, "Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion." And that, I think, must be Dougan's gift.

If you want to read a book that will touch your heart and make you laugh, then this may be the book for you. If you want an interesting glimpse into the evolution of community care for mentally disabled adults, then this may be the book for you. If you want to read how one woman copes with being part of a network--family with needs and expectations, a society with expectations and goals, sometimes at odds with her own--then this may be the book for you. It's quick, it's warm, and it's witty; it is heartwarming and humbling. That's pretty good.

With a little more introspection, a little more depth, it might even have been great. But, honestly, I would have liked to have known more: more about Irene's condition and abilities, more about the systems and the people who have risen (and not) to Irene's assistance. I would have liked to have known more about the author's other family members and their interactions with Irene.Read more ›
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3.0 out of 5 starsA Story About Sisters & Their Challenges
By Pamela V VINE VOICE on January 2, 2009
Format: Hardcover Vine Customer Review of Free Product ( What's this? )
That Went Well - Adventures In Caring For My Sister - by Terrell Harris Dougan, is the true story of the author and her life caring for and about her mentally challenged sister, Irene.
Irene was apparently injured during her birth, when a period of anoxia left her with the intellect of a small child. Doctors said she would never learn to read and write, and would never live independently. Back then the advice was to find a state hospital and send her there.

The Harris family decided they could not do that to their young daughter and lovingly raised her at home, with the help of a live-in grandmother, Bammy.
At a certain point Irene became restless and combative and entered into several programs, none of which worked for her.
The book goes into detail about some of these programs, one founded by the author, and describes things that worked for Irene and things that didn't. Although it was a great source of stress for the author, in the end, when the responsibility of taking care of her sister was hers and hers alone, she realized she had built a large part of her life around taking care of Irene, and that she was grateful for it.

The first half of the book barely kept my interest, but I stuck with it to the end. The second half of the book was a better read to me, although there were still some things that focused a bit too much on the author and her life, and did not include much about her sister. I felt that anyway.

The last chapter was great and I kind of wish the author had put that much feeling into the entire book. In the last chapter, Harris-Dougan lets everyone know how she feels about how they act with her disabled sister. I appreciated the honesty and the humor used in that last chapter.

Overall, the book has merit. Parents of disabled children always worry about what will happen when they die, and who will take care of their child, and this book is an answer to that age-old question.
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4.0 out of 5 starsVery honest memoir of life caring for a disabled sister, including the older adult years not often written about
By Suzanne Amara VINE VOICE on January 5, 2009
Format: Hardcover Vine Customer Review of Free Product ( What's this? )
I really liked the honestly in this memoir. Terrell Dougan has spent a good part of her adult life caring for her sister Irene, and it has not been easy---Irene is prone to violent tantrums and has an IQ of 57. However, she also is warmhearted and friendly, and Dougan is great at realizing that this has given her life lots of interesting moments it would not otherwise have had. I liked also that much of the book dealt with the two sisters as they were in their 50s and 60s. So many books about people with special needs only show them as children, not adults. I loved the line where Dougan said that although it's been a rewarding life with her sister in a lot of ways, at times she wishes it had all happened to the neighbors! I bet most of us have felt that way about things.

Although Dougan is a cheery and upbeat writer, I think the book could use a bit more focus and consistency. There is much here about her parents, about her houses and parts where it starts to feel like a "celebrities I have known" type memoir. Most of this is interesting stuff, but is not really part of the book's larger theme. Also, at times the switches from humor to scenes that would make you cry seem pretty sudden. It's like reading Erma Bombeck for pages, and then there is a scene that needs you to be serious and really feel what is being said, and it's a little hard on a reader, although I bet it's a lot like life with Irene really is.

I don't know what the future holds for my daughter, who is 4 and has been diagnosed as autistic. It's very possible her brothers might some day be her caretakers. I hope they do half the job and have half the self-insight that Terrell Harris Dougan has.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5 stars***** Ten stars for a truly memorable book!

I read between 200 and 300 books per year and while I enjoy them all most are quickly forgotten. I read a library copy of this book shortly after it was published and was so... Read more

Published 20 months ago by Whistlers Mom
4.0 out of 5 starsThat Did Go Well

Terrell uses the book to write about her trials with her mentally handicapped older sister. Terrell tries very hard to treat her sister, Irene, as everyone else but every time she... Read more

Published on April 9, 2013 by Shannon M. Mcgee
5.0 out of 5 starsHeartfelt, humorous memoir

This was the perfect Christmas gift for my mother, who grew up in the same part of Salt Lake City a decade or so before the author, and could identify with many of the places and... Read more

Published on December 30, 2012 by Richard C. Hatch
5.0 out of 5 starsReally enjoyed this read

I really enjoyed this read and liked the voice of the author and the trials she had to endure while taking care of her sister, Irene. Read more

Published on September 24, 2012 by James Duckett
5.0 out of 5 starsThat Went Well

This was a beautiful story of the struggles the author has in dealing with her autistic sister. It was sad, funny, heart wrenching, irritating ... I have recommend it highly!

Published on June 12, 2012 by KAOSTS
4.0 out of 5 starsPraise for That Went Well

Terrell Dougan gives an authentic voice to the siblings of mentally challenged people. In this book, she provides a close-up look at the trials and rewards of sharing a sibling... Read more

Published on February 14, 2011 by Gale Massey
4.0 out of 5 starsReview

I had varied reactions to this book in the course of reading the 200 or so pages. At first I was really impressed by the writing style, simple yet effective. Read more

Published on March 5, 2010 by BooksatVioletCrush
4.0 out of 5 starsEntertaining but a bit random

When I picked out this book, I thought it would be about a woman whose sister is mentally disabled and the troubles she had to deal with because of her disability. Read more

Published on December 9, 2009 by Tina
4.0 out of 5 starsIf you know a care-giver, give her this book.

Terrell writes with humour, pluck, and down to earth realism about the challenges of caring for her sister, who is mentally retarded. Read more

Published on November 9, 2009 by Grandma Books
4.0 out of 5 starsInspiring adventures

A portrait of a family determined to both provide opportunities for their disadvantaged daughter, and to maintain their sense of humor. A funny and inspiring slice of life.

Published on October 13, 2009 by Noneofyourbiz

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