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The Chemistry Between Us: Love, Sex, and the Science of Attraction Kindle Edition

by Larry Young PhD (Author), Brian Alexander (Author)

43 customer reviews

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How much control do we have over love? Much less than we like to think. All that mystery, all that poetry, all those complex behaviors surrounding human bonding leading to the most life-changing decisions we’ll ever make, are unconsciously driven by a few molecules in our brains.

How does love begin? How can two strangers come to the conclusion that it would not only be pleasant to share their lives, but that they must share them? How can a man say he loves his wife, yet still cheat on her? Why do others stay in relationships even after the romance fades? How is it possible to fall in love with the “wrong” person? How do people come to have a “type”?

Physical attraction, jealousy, infidelity, mother-infant bonding—all the behaviors that so often leave us befuddled—are now being teased out of the fog of mystery thanks to today’s social neuroscience. Larry Young, one of the world’s leading experts in the field, and journalist Brian Alexander explain how those findings apply to you.

Drawing on real human stories and research from labs around the world, The Chemistry Between Us is a bold attempt to create a “grand unified theory” of love. Some of the mind-blowing insights include:

Love can get such a grip on us because it is, literally, an addiction.
To a woman falling in love, a man is like her baby.
Why it’s false to say society makes gender, and how it’s possible to have the body of one gender and the brain of another.
Why some people are more likely to cheat than others.
Why we sometimes truly can’t resist temptation.

Young and Alexander place their revelations into historical, political, and social contexts. In the process, they touch on everything from gay marriage to why single-mother households might not be good for society. The Chemistry Between Us offers powerful insights into love, sex, gender, sexual orientation, and family life that will prove to be enlightening, controversial, and thought provoking.

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Product Details

File Size: 731 KB
Print Length: 320 pages
Page Numbers Source ISBN: 1591846617
Publisher: Current; Reprint edition (September 13, 2012)
Publication Date: September 13, 2012
Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
Language: English
ASIN: B007P7HV4Y
Text-to-Speech: Enabled

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Not Enabled

Word Wise: Enabled
Lending: Not Enabled
Enhanced Typesetting: Not Enabled
Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #160,669 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
- #110 in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Medical eBooks > Internal Medicine > Neurology > Neuroscience
- #150 in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Counseling & Psychology > Sexuality
- #240 in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Relationships > Mate Seeking

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Customer Reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars

5 star		68%
4 star		21%
3 star		2%
2 star		9%
1 star		0%

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

44 of 46 people found the following review helpful

A Brief Summary and Review

By A. D. Thibeault on September 22, 2012

Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase

*A full summary of this book is available here: An Executive Summary of Larry Young and Brian Alexander's 'The Chemistry Between Us: Love, Sex, and the Science of Attraction'

The main argument: Love and sex play a central role in the human drama. But when we talk about the emotions and decisions that we make in connection with them, we tend to remain strictly at the macro level, referring to people, and relationships, and our freely made choices. However, in their new book The Chemistry Between Us: Love, Sex and the Science of Attraction social neuroscientist Larry Young and journalist Brian Alexander contend that our biology and chemistry play a much bigger role in love and sex than most of us ever acknowledge (since Larry Young is the scientist behind the book [and responsible for the ideas therein], I will refer to him as the main author throughout). Young explores everything from gender identity (and sexual orientation), to romantic relationships (and parenting), to monogamy (and adultery), taking us inside our bodies to investigate the genes and hormones that influence our approach to love, sex and relationships. While the focus here is on us humans, the evidence comes not only from our own species but from a host of other animals that exhibit similar biology and behavior.

Young begins by way of smashing the notions that gender identity is constructed by culture, and that sexual orientation is a matter of choice. The foundations of these phenomena, the author argues, are laid down in utero by the specific hormones that wash over the fetus as it develops.Read more ›

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12 of 13 people found the following review helpful

Great Introspective Book

By David G on January 6, 2013

Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase

Before reading this, I read Ogi Ogas' A Billion Wicked Thoughts and loved it. Both books are on similar themes, and ABWT is very much like a textbook so it's sometimes difficult to get through all the statistics and studies. Chemistry Between Us has much of the same information but it's written in a very colloquial style. I have recommended both of these books to my friends because they explain almost everything you need to know about romantic relationships. The problem is that most people are not introspective enough to apply the information to their own lives. I have only read perhaps one or two "self-help" books on romance, but in my opinion this is the only book that anyone needs. It does get off to a bit of a slow start, but hang in there because at about 1/4 or 1/3 of the way into the book it really takes off an becomes pretty riveting.

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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful

Fascinating Read!

By Andrew Mezher on November 17, 2012

Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase

Dr. Young's narrative voice is humorous and engaging, his language makes the science very user-friendly, and the book as a whole is very thought-provoking. I love sharing the knowledge I learn from his book with friends who share similar interests. Many fascinating stories that set up the neurochemistry or extrapolate on the science. A must-read!

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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful

She blinded me with science

By Dr. Wilson Trivino on February 27, 2013

Format: Hardcover

Why is it that we are drawn to some people and pushed away from others. What exactly is love? A force that make individuals change their lives completely, sacrifice to bear children, and be loyal to one soul?
In the book The Chemistry Between Us: Love, Sex, and the Science of Attraction by Larry Young, PhD, and Brian Alexander you take a scientific approach to these natural connectors. This story is very fascinating how hormones and chemicals within us impact our actions on the outside.
A bit scientific in certain parts, you get the nuts and bolts and research on the dynamics between the sexes. How often the way we act are more a force of biological forces than simply random acts.
The book delves into the science of how depending on the hormones that we are exposed to within the womb can determine our sexual orientation and sexual prowess. For men being faithful can be a challenge when we are constantly on the hunt for the rewards of sex.
If you want to delve into a deeper understanding of connecting with another person, this book is a good foundation to understand why when you are in love or are attracted, you get that "magical feeling". As cited, "Men are still led by instinct before they are regulated by knowledge", Theodore Dreiser.

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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful

A very interesting and well written book, in an easy and understandable language.

By Yngve Frøystad on March 19, 2013

Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase

Its perfect if you are broken hearted and need to rationalize your feelings. And also if you are a science geek (like me) and want to know what happens. Just dont give it to your girlfriend for valentines day.

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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful

Fantastic glimpse into the genetics and chemistry of human sexuality

By Quai Chang Cain on October 29, 2014

Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase

The Chemistry Between Us is a fascinating look at the genetics, brain chemistry and hormones that, for better or worse, exert a strong influence on our deepest relationships. The book surveys experiments done on slugs, voles, humans, and other animals in order to get a glimpse at the workings of the brain, while being careful not to over-state the conclusions. It deals with a wide range of topics from epigenetic (environmental, non-DNA) factors in gender identity to jealously and mate-guarding, to monogamy and infidelity, and mother-child bonding with many stops in between.

For the most part, this was all riveting stuff. If you've read more than a few biology books, some sections will seem a little repetitive - you can start predicting what the human experiments will be like (and their results) while you're still reading about slugs or voles, but I think the approach was necessary to show to what extent the animal experiments map over to human experience, with our rather more complex brains.

For me, the biggest irony of the book was in the last chapter, where the authors claim that science can't answer the 'big questions' - that those are better left to religion and philosophy. It's ironic because the book just finished giving a better answer to one of the biggest questions of all - 'what is love?' - than any religion or philosophy I've encountered. It seemed like a bone thrown to a largely religious audience in an attempt to make their findings more palatable. Why do I think the authors were insincere here? It might have to do with their flippant analogy of the child who endlessly asks 'why?' and the speed at which the parent collapses into an answer like 'Because that's God's plan' or 'Let's go watch Sponge Bob!'.Read more ›

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Most Recent Customer Reviews

Wow

Really interesting and the science is explained at just the right level...it is not just a pop science book. Great read for scientists trying to learn about this other field

Published 12 days ago by Lisa Cantrell

Good mix of hard science and fun reading

This book has a nice mix of legit science and fun writing / anecdote. Its a good team of writers consisting of one of the pioneer scientists in this area of research. Read more

Published 1 month ago by Melissa

Excellent book

This book sheds so much light on brain chemistry and sexuality that your mind is very likely to be blown.

Published 1 month ago by Kennette Thomas

Fascinating subject! The writing was clear and well done ...

Fascinating subject! The writing was clear and well done. I could not put down this book and have referenced it so many times since that it's getting tattered.

Published 3 months ago by Marathon Mom

Five Stars

Very well written.

Published 4 months ago by INGE STATON

Great, readable summary of the science

Once every few years a book comes along that summarizes all the relevant science in a field so that the lay person can absorb and evaluate it. This is one of those book. Read more

Published 6 months ago by Darrel W. Ray

all the same still a good read.

Very scientific and not romantic at all... all the same still a good read.

Published 7 months ago by Daniel Arteaga

Wonderful book - it explains so many things I've wondered ...

Wonderful book - it explains so many things I've wondered about. This is a really good read for just about anybody who possesses curiosity.

Published 7 months ago by Amazon Customer

I recommend this book as a source of research based information

The book covers topics from homosexuality, transverse individuals to love, attraction, falling out of it and infidelity from the point of view of brain response to the development... Read more

Published 10 months ago by Casual reader

Five Stars

I'm so glad that it looks like brand new!! Thank you very much.

Published 11 months ago by Yuko Vogel

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