Everything About Me Is Fake . . . And I'm Perfect (Hardcover)

~ (Author) "How far will your average supermodel go to look fabulous before, during, and after the hot-hot days of a modeling career?..." (more)
Key Phrases: first supermodel, fake lashes, fake tits, New York, Beverly Hills, Los Angeles (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Supermodel Dickinson does not waste time sugarcoating her addictive quest for physical perfection—or "perfliction," as she dubs it—in this collection of pithy biographical anecdotes and advice. In blunt, riotous prose, she confesses how utterly unattainable this perfect image is by "ripping off the designer clothes, washing off the makeup, letting the rest of the mascara run, and stripping away all the layers that created my life as a photo shoot." While it may be difficult to swallow this lesson in un-perfection from a supermodel, Dickinson refreshingly steers clear of feel-good platitudes. Instead, as in her last memoir, No Lifeguard on Duty, she deliciously dishes on everyone from former lovers Mick Jagger and Sly Stallone, to fellow supermodels Christie Brinkley and Iman, and finally, her-superficial-self. Although ostensibly sensitive to the devastating pressures young women—and girls, including her 10-year-old daughter—face for beauty, she recounts her past debaucheries with little regret. Looking back on the sex-crazed, drug-addled days at the height of her career, Dickinson muses, "Nowadays, all that delicious, reckless self-indulgence has been replaced by the glaze of real life. Am I happier now? Maybe, maybe not." And she’s never coy about her endless pursuit for the ultimate body: "I will go to any extent to suffer for beauty. That’s just who I am." This includes plastic surgery, Botox, obsessive exercise and even putting on false eyelashes, one at a time. Despite (or perhaps because of) her completely uncensored mouth, Dickinson comes off as likeable and, ironically, very real. 16 color and b&w photos.
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Product Description

In EVERYTHING ABOUT ME IS FAKE ... AND I'M PERFECT, the hilarious and candid follow-up to the national bestseller NO LIFEGUARD ON DUTY, Janice Dickinson tackles our society's unattainable standards of beauty and reveals the secrets behind her own lifelong struggle to achieve perfection -- from her bra-stuffing days as a flat-chested teenager through her career as the world's first supermodel to her ultimate comeback as a bestselling author and television star on the top-rated reality television hit AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL

***most men don't seem to care about my age either. Once you hit the supermodel level, your numerical time spent on Earth doesn't matter to men.***

Even as she graced the glossy pages of VOGUE and COSMO, Janice had to struggle to keep up the image of brazen self-confidence and bravado that became her trademark. Behind every smile and pose was a sea of self-doubt and insecurities. Now, after years of experience as a supermodel -- being stitched into clothing, starving herself, and undergoing cosmetic surgery -- Janice debunks the beauty myths and breaks down what's real and what's not. Drawing on her vast knowledge of fashion, beauty care, and fitness, Janice offers no-nonsense advice and tips on how to look and feel your best on your own terms.

***you see on the magazine pages starve themselves for weeks on end, smoke up a storm, and scarf down enough diuretics to blast out the Pacific Ocean.***

No one tells a story like the world's first supermodel, and Janice's eagerly awaited follow-up is filled with outrageous anecdotes from her personal life, including how she stole Donald Trump's heart after jacking his limo, her steamy date with JFK Jr., and the wonders and pitfalls of going under the knife. In a fabulous fashion that only Janice can deliver, she tells all about her bumpy and unpredictable road to a healthy self-image and pulls back the curtain on the modeling industry, as well as her own life, proving why, as Janice explains: "Everything about me is fake . . . and I'm perfect."

***I think it's best to treat most men like they're pets. Treat 'em mean and you'll keep 'em keen.***

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 272 pages
• Publisher: HarperEntertainment (April 27, 2004)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 006055469X
• ISBN-13: 978-0060554699
• Product Dimensions: 9.4 x 6.4 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 3.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (53 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #627,834 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

76 of 90 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars Everything about her is fake... period, October 15, 2004

By	E. A Solinas "ea_solinas" (MD USA) - See all my reviews (TOP 10 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)

Janice Dickinson is perfect, just so you know. Or at least, she would love for you to think so. In her second autobiographical book, the "Big Dog" turns the focus from her life to herself and her career -- and while at first it's a big loop of trashy enjoyment, her irritating personality taints it all.

In "Everything," Dickinson presents plenty of the nasty behind-the-scenes details of the modelling world, like eating disorders, sleeping one's way to the top, and lots and lots of airbrushing. She also gives detailed tales of who slept with her, who wanted to sleep with her, and the assorted dates she had with adoring male celebrities. Not to mention tips on how to banish wrinkles (which have only sort of worked).

Janice starts off with some basic stuff about supermodels, all anecdotes focused on her not eating, posing in bathing suits in zero-degree weather, and pouting sexily. Then, when she apparently run out of material, she decides to give women relationship tips straight out of a dominatrix's handbook ("Get him while he's down: throw salt in his wounds...") and gives us details of her many affairs, including a rather icky fling with Rolling Stone Mick Jagger.

While "Everything" is fun for awhile, Janice herself gets annoying. Not only is she extremely self-centered, but some of her stories have a hint of fantasy about them. The men -- Mick Jagger, Donald Trump, Bruce Willis, JFK Jr., three-fourths of the Beatles -- all worshipped her, and all the women either adored her, or were nasty and are promptly cut to bits by Janet's oh-so-witty cattiness. Everyone tells her how beautiful, sexy and wise she is.

Gals of normal body size should skip certain chapters: Apparently idolizing the body and industry of her long-ago youth, Dickinson also takes the opportunity to lob a few size-ist barbs at the plus-size models of today. Apparently in her mind, only androgyne waifs (as she once was) are allowed to be models. And when talking about some girls who were late to a modelling show, she comes dangerously close to squawking, "When I was your age..."

The most publicized aspect of "Everything" has been Dickinson's plastic surgery, and that actually doesn't take up a lot of time -- she goes in to get a bunion removed, and gets new breasts. Then veneers, face lifts, and so on. Amazingly, according to some of the latest pictures in this book, all the surgery did was make her eyebrows slant like Spock's.

Janice does have a small number of interesting stories to tell, like the gossipy story of how Mick Jagger snubbed her when she was pregnant, and how she overcame booze and drugs. But for every trashy, fun story, there is another anecdote in which Janice relabels her personality defects as assets, or tells us how astoundingly lovely her butt is.

Despite being a respected judge on the reality show "America's Next Top Model," Janice Dickinson's jaded, dated take on the modelling world gets boring after a while. "Everything About Her is Fake... And She's A Pain."

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars Most egotistical ,self-absorbed, shallow piffle ever!, August 13, 2004

By	kb6 "kb6" (San Francisco, CA USA) - See all my reviews

Good night, but this woman is madly in love with herself!! In nearly every photo caption she proclaims how fabulous she thinks herself. But I found this book to be ultimately rather sad. It's written by someone who spent their entire life thinking that all that matters is the outer shell. And apparently surrounded by people who think the same. Pathetic, sick, sad, horrifying ...perfliction indeed.

11 of 12 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars Too many drugs or Permanent Brain Damage?, May 3, 2004

By	V. Keith (San Diego) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

I really enjoyed "No Lifeguard on Duty" Dickinson's pre ATNM book. But "Everything about me is Fake" was an irritating bore. Dickinson as usual distorts facts and timelines but this time with absolutely no to resemblance to reality. She shaves off ten years here and ten years there in most of her recollections. She gives the reader the impression that she isn't capable of remembering when things happened or if they really happened at all. Her accounts of her life in her first book were extremely exaggerated yet seemed to contained kernals of truth. This time around her recollections are too distorted to be believable. She never tires of portraying herself as either the victim, the unattainable siren or the perfect mother. Her tale gets old fast. In one episode she says she met Julia Roberts at a lavish party, she says in the 80's, right after Julia filmed her documentary about oranguetangs. Hello, Julia Roberts filmed that in 1998. She wasn't even a big star in the 80's. Petty criticism, maybe. But I like to think the author has some grip on reality. As one who actually watched her Dr. Phil episode, which Janice's details, I found her account laughable and scary. No, the audience didn't applaud her like she was at a Stones concert. In fact when she said she was "perfect" they began to laugh. No it was not a PSA to young women but maybe one for the damage that drugs can cause the brain. It was truly cringe-worthy. Her descriptions of her encounters with John Lennon, President Reagan and Barbra Streisand were surreal. Maybe she met them but I highly doubt what she says happened actually did. Maybe these are inconsequential grievences for some but they completely eroded her credibility for me. While "Lifeguard" was interesting filled with glimpses of the modeling world in the 70's and 80's, "Everything" is more of an homage to the wonderfulness of Ms. Dickinson. I was hoping for interesting tibits about Ms. Dickinson's life with her new found ATNM fame. There are some, like her compatibility with Kimora Lee Simmons. However they are overshadowed by her constantly reminding the reader of the fabulousness of Janice. Which is all well and good in moderation. I always thought Janice was fabulous. I don't know who she wants to convince more, the reader or herself. I am flabbergasted that her editor didn't rein her in, even a tad. I used to be a great fan of Ms. Dickinson's growing up but this book has shown that her rebound success on ANTM has warped her brain even more than it already was. I don't think I'll be purchasing the third installment.