The Seinfeld Scripts: The First and Second Seasons (Paperback)

~ Jerry Seinfeld (Author), Larry David (Author) "A typical New York City coffee shop..." (more)
Key Phrases: cable boy, flaming globes, wooden teeth, Uncle Leo, New York, Loni Anderson (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Product Description

Jerry. George. Elaine. Kramer.

We've followed their misadventures for nearly ten years on Thursday nights. Here, finally, are the scripts of the first two seasons that will take you back to the beginning of Seinfeld.

Featuring the first 17 episodes ever aired, The Seinfeld Scripts contains all the great lines that have kept us laughing for years: the pilot episode, "The Seinfeld Chronicles," where it all began; George introduces his importer/exporter altar ego Art Vanderlay in "The Stakeout"; Kramer becomes obsessed with cantaloupe in "The Ex-Girlfriend"; Jerry and George meet Elaine's dad in "The Jacket"; is Jerry responsible for a poor Polish woman's death when he makes "The Pony Remark"?; Jerry and Elaine decide to become intimate again in "The Deal"; what will George do when he is banned from the executive bathroom in "The Revenge"?; and Jerry, George, and Elaine wait for a table in "The Chinese Restaurant."

It's all here: the award-winning writing of Seinfeld, "the defining sitcom of our age". Created by Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld.

Elaine: My roommate has Lyme disease.
Jerry: Lyme disease? I thought she had Epstein-Barr syndrome?
Elaine: She has this in addition to Epstein-Barr. It's like Epstein-Barr with a twist of Lyme disease.

George: She calls me up at my office she says, "We have to talk."
Jerry: The four worst words in the English language.

Kramer: What a body. Yeeaaah...that's for me.
Jerry: Yeah and you're just what she's looking for, too--a stranger, leering through a pair of binoculars ten floors up.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

TEASER

INT. NIGHTCLUB--NIGHT A

Opening credits over the following:

Jerry

Do you know what this is all about? Do you.know why we're here? To be out. This is out. Out is one of the single most enjoyable experiences of life. People--you know how many people come home at night--"We should go out?" This is what they're talking about. This whole thing--we're all out, no one is home.

Not one person here is home. We're all out. There are people trying to find us. They don't know where we are. "Did you-I can't find them, where did he go? I don't know. He didn't tell me where he was going. He must have gone out." You want to go out. You get ready, you pick out the clothes, right? You take the shower, get all ready. Get the cash, get your friends, the car, the spot, the reservations, when you stand around, what do you do? You go, "We gotta be getting back." Once you're out, you want to get back. You want to go to sleep, you want to get up, you want to go out again tomorrow, right? Wherever you are in life, it's my feeling, you've gotta go.End opening credits.

ACT I

SCENE A

FADE IN:

EXT. COFFEE SHOP--ESTABLISHING SHOT--DAY (STOCK)

INT. COFFEE SHOP--LATE AFTERNOON (DAY I)

A typical New York City coffee shop. It's not rush hour, but there's activity and we hear that unmistakable din. Jerry and a longtime friend, George, are sitting at a table. George, slightly insecure, has an opinion on everything. He lives life at a higher intensity level than Jerry.

Jerry

See, now to me, that button" is in the worst possible spot. The second button literafly makes or breaks the shirt. Look at it, it's too high, it's in no-man's-land. You look like you live with your mother.

George

Are you through?

Jerry

You do, of course, try on when you buy.

George

Yes, it was purple, I liked it. I don't recall considering the button.

Jerry

Oh, you don't recall.

Product Details

• Paperback: 544 pages
• Publisher: Harper Paperbacks; 1 edition (April 30, 1998)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0060953039
• ISBN-13: 978-0060953034
• Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 6.1 x 1.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.7 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (15 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #90,783 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

22 of 26 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Seinfeld secret? Great WRITING=Great Comedy, September 9, 2001

By	Joel L. Gandelman (San Diego, CA USA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

Here's the book that partly answers why Seinfeld (and I Love Lucy and All in the Family and Married With Children and The Simpsons) is so funny: Great sit-com comedy doesn't just happen because you get a talented performer. It also depends HEAVILY on the writing guiding the performance.

Any Seinfed fan (or student or lover of comedy) MUST own this book. My only regret is that it only gives you scripts for the first and second seasons (which, actually, many consider among the best). It shows you the solid comedic, consistently witty, and highly ironic foundations behind the cast's classic performances.

The good news: this book READS funny. Unless you just don't like reading drama/comedy in script form, you'll howl almost as much (since you are missing actual facial expressions, timing and body language) as you read these. Quite a few of these episodes were written by Seinfeld and collaborator (who how has a critically acclaimed HBO comedy series) Larry David. The many episodes include "The Jacket," "The Pony Remark," "The Deal," "The Chinese Restaurant," (one of my favorites) and "The Revenge."

According to published accounts, Seinfeld and David were absolutely adamant that there would be "no hugging" on THEIR show and that they would do the show their way or not do the show at all. They stuck to their guns. This book contains highly original sitcom comedy which holds up exceedingly well in script form. Keep the importance of solid writing in mind as you see former cast members from his show (or even Jerry himself or former cast members of other big hits) try to clone their earlier success: without a solid comedic foundation -- which is funny on paper -- all the talent in the world won't create a hit sitcom.

9 of 11 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Even if you've watched EVERY episode, read this one, May 19, 2001

By	K. Corn "reviewer" (Indianapolis,, IN United States) - See all my reviews (TOP 100 REVIEWER)

If you watched Seinfeld regularly, you probably wished you could go back and review favorite episodes and see why they worked so well. I know I did. Sure, I COULD videotape episodes and rewatch them (and I often did) but I found this book provided additional advantages. I could linger over certain phrases, note how well the script flowed in certain sections and gain a deeper understanding of why certain bits were funny. Plus, it was much easier rereading certain sections of this book than it would have been to rewind a tape, find the section and replay it. When it comes to television shows and comedic writing, books definitely have their advantages over videotapes. On the other hand, if you like to see how the characters interact, their facial expressions and mannerisms, you may still want to have a tape of each show, using this book as an excellent supplement to the tapes. If you have tapes AND this book of Seinfeld, I'd say you'd have a mini-course in good comedy writing.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars SEINFELD'S COMEDIC INSPIRATION, January 24, 2006

By	Eugene B. Bergmann - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

Yes, Seinfeld is always funny. Here's what he said about his comedic inspiration: "[Lois Nettleton] was married to Jean Shepherd. He's the guy who invented talk radio and really formed my entire comedic sensibility. Yes. I learned how to do comedy from Jean Shepherd." He said this in his commentary for "The Gymnast" episode on the sitcom's DVD set, sixth season. Who is Jean Shepherd? See the book EXCELSIOR, YOU FATHEAD! THE ART AND ENIGMA OF JEAN SHEPHERD.