Raising Adopted Children, Revised Edition: Practical Reassuring Advice for Every Adoptive Parent (Paperback)

by Lois Ruskai Melina (Author) "Adoptive parents are often told that they got their children "the easy way..." (more)
Key Phrases: large adoptive families, large adoptive family, semiopen adoption, African American, United States, Rutgers University (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review
"Some people may describe adoption as difficult; others simply describe it as different. I am inclined to think of it as complex," writes Lois Ruskai Melina in the updated, revised Raising Adopted Children: Practical, Reassuring Advice for Every Adoptive Parent.

Adoption practices have evolved considerably since this book's first publication in 1986, and the new version of the "Dr. Spock for adoptive parents" reflects the latest theories. Drawing on the findings and practices of pediatricians, social workers, scientists, and adoptive parents, Raising Adopted Children is carefully and thoroughly researched. Chapters on open adoption, international adoption, and transracial adoption are combined with advice on bonding and attachment, breast-feeding an adoptive infant (possible but complicated), dealing with schools, privacy issues, adopting a child with disabilities, adopting as a single parent, and the challenges of adolescence. While Melina's many years of professional and personal experience shape her advice, she remains very evenhanded. For example, she's a strong proponent of the "early telling" theory of adoption (being open about the adoption with the child from the beginning), but she also clearly presents other points of view, and, throughout the book, encourages parents to make decisions that feel right for them.

The text includes specific suggestions for explaining a child's birth circumstances, including common misconceptions, and a valuable discussion about whether adoptees are at greater risk for behavior problems or learning disabilities. She also provides suggestions for setting rules for contact with biological parents, easing grief, and acknowledging a child's history. A completely annotated list of selected references and resources rounds out this superior guide. --Ericka Lutz

From Library Journal
In this comprehensive exploration of adoption issues (bonding and attachment, family adjustment, contact with biological relatives, etc.), the authoran adoptive parent and the editor of Adopted Child newsletteraims for a wide audience: parents, adoptees, and related professionals. Unfortunately, instead of including personal experiences, she takes a plodding though informative textbook approach that combines practical advice (making "Life books") with controversial suggestions (using "Toughlove" for discipline). Still, this is a helpful parenting guide that complements Edmund Blair Bolles's The Penguin Adoption Handbook ( LJ 4/15/84) and Lois Gilman's The Adoption Resource Book ( LJ 3/1/85). Janice Arenofsky, formerly with Arizona State Lib., Phoenix
Copyright 1986 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 400 pages
• Publisher: Harper Paperbacks; Revised edition (July 10, 1998)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0060957174
• ISBN-13: 978-0060957179
• Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.3 x 1.1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars See all reviews (23 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #11,854 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

44 of 45 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Good solid information, very practical book, July 30, 1999

By	Jeffrey T. Saathoff "Jeff S" (Hudson, Il USA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This book covers a lot of ground about adoption and really gets into the thoughts of the adoptee and the adopting parents. The sections on Talking about Adoption and Bonding & Attachment are quite good. This edition also contains an updated section on International Adoption which is quite helpful.

More importantly, the back of the book is full of resources and references that you can use for follow-up information.

The only thing that kept this from being 5 stars is that it takes a lot of effort to read the whole thing. Many of the ideas are reinforced over and over again, which is good, but can really sap the reader.

Great job overall though.

25 of 25 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Excellent Book!, September 7, 2002

By A Customer

This book was part of our required reading for our home study. After reading some of the poor reviews I wasn't looking forward to reading it. Once I started reading it I couldn't believe how much information was is in this book. This book can certainly help you decide which adoption route is for you. It explains the adopted child's emotions from infant to teen and how to handle them. It explains the different issues you may be faced with in domestic, international, infant, older child, inter-racial, and special needs adoptions. Helpful hints regarding how different countries may cared for your child which may explain why what you're doing isn't working. How long it may take for an infant to adjust to your time zone. It even tells you how to respond to those rude or nosy questions/comments from your friends, family, co-workers,and strangers! This is a great book to read no matter where you are in the adoption process from just thinking about it to completed it!

49 of 56 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Practical, reassuring advice for every adoptive parent., June 26, 1998

By A Customer

As a new adoptive parent in 1980, I wanted to know what I could expect. The traditional sources of child care information were not useful to me. They talked about the importance of natural childbirth and breastfeeding to bonding and attachment, but didn't talk about how to breastfeed an adopted child or how a child not born to his parents would grow to love them. I wrote the first edition of "Raising Adopted Children" to let parents know what to expect from the time they took their child home until the time that child leaves home. This new edition of "Raising Adopted Children" reflects changes in adoption over the past 12 years, including the increase in adoptions from China and Eastern Europe and the unique issues arising from those situations. It incorporates the most recent research into various aspects of adoption, including the psychological impact of adoption, and the outcomes for children from orphanages and children who were prenatally exposed to drugs, as well as for children adopted as healthy infants. In addition to 12 more years of research, this book reflects 12 more years of personal experience. My children, just preschoolers when I wrote the first edition, are now 15 and 18. My oldest is leaving home to attend college and my youngest is beginning the quest for identity and independence. I believe I can reassure adoptive parents that the satisfaction of being an adoptive parent continues and the deep love we feel for our children grows.