Curious?: Discover the Missing Ingredient to a Fulfilling Life (Hardcover)

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Book Description

Dead cats. That's the image many people conjure up when you mention curiosity. An image perpetuated by a dusty old proverb that has long represented the extent of our understanding of the term. This book might not put the proverb to rest, but it will flip it upside down: far from killing anything, curiosity breathes new life into almost everything it touches.

In Curious? Dr. Todd Kashdan offers a profound new message missing from so many books on happiness: the greatest opportunities for joy, purpose, and personal growth don't, in fact, happen when we're searching for happiness. They happen when we are mindful, when we explore what's novel, and when we live in the moment and embrace uncertainty. Positive events last longer and we can extract more pleasure and meaning from them when we are open to new experiences and relish the unknown.

Dr. Kashdan uses science, story, and practical exercises to show you how to become what he calls a curious explorer—a person who's comfortable with risk and challenge and who functions optimally in an unstable, unpredictable world. Here's a blueprint for building lasting, meaningful relationships, improving health, increasing creativity, and boosting productivity. Aren't you curious to know more?

How Curious? Will Help You: An Essay by Todd Kashdan

Without question, happiness is important. Who doesn't want to be happy and wish the same for their loved ones? But this book is not limited to happiness. This is a book about living a life that matters with a broader view about what the "good life" entails. Much of what we desire often has nothing to do with happiness but is just as important. This includes meaning and purpose in life, wisdom, satisfying relationships, the ability to tolerate distress, spirituality, creativity, compassion, feeling a sense of competence and mastery, and so on. Sometimes trying to be happy actually gets in the way of making inroads toward these other elements. Effectively handling the pain and stress that life brings is an essential part of creating a rich, meaningful existence.

When you adopt this broad view of what matters, an important question remains that this entire book hinges on. What is essential to creating a fulfilling life? The answer is…

• Being curious.
• Being open to new experiences.
• Being able to effectively manage ambiguity and uncertainty.
• Being able to adapt to the demands required of different situations (what I call “psychological flexibility”).
• Discovering our strengths, deepest values, and what it is we are passionate about.
• Strengthening connections to these values and passionate pursuits so that we can pursue a life aligned with them.

This book provides a closer look at curiosity; a neglected and underappreciated strength in our arsenal. People regularly ignore curiosity because it appears, on the surface, to be a very obvious, simple, impotent emotion--something unusual appears or someone captivates us by a story, we feel curious, and direct our attention to explore further. But while this emotion seemed simplistic even to me, as I began my research, I soon discovered that curiosity is a deeper, more complex phenomenon that plays a critical role in what makes people’s lives most worth living. Curiosity is the spark plug that ignites other factors that contribute to happiness and meaning in life. You can't work with strengths until you spot them and investigate them. You can't be grateful without being curious about what benefits you received in your life.

Besides a better understanding of curiosity, readers will be introduced to strategies for becoming a more curious explorer. By reclaiming curiosity and learning how to wield it, readers will be able to demonstrably alter the quality of their lives. A good portion of this book focuses on how to find, create, and sustain fulfilling moments and a fulfilling life.

How Curious? Will Help You [PDF]

Review

Curiosity is what makes for great leaders, great parents, and great friends. Buttressed by the latest scientific research, Curious? is one of those rare books that can make you rethink how you see the world. --Arianna Huffington

Curious? points the way to an exploring spirit that leads to wonderment, joy, and meaning. It's one of those rare books that is both research-based and practical. -- David G. Myers, author, The Pursuit of Happiness

Combining well-designed self-help with state-of-the-art positive psychology and profoundly inspiring stories, this is the perfect book to read when you are having second thoughts about challenging yourself to explore that next step in life! -- Stephen Post, Ph.D., co-author of Why Good Things Happen to Good People

Curious? will wake you up to the rewards, adventures, and meaning inherent in both life's most momentous and most quotidian moments. -- Sonja Lyubomirsky, Ph.D., author of The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 352 pages
• Publisher: William Morrow; 1 edition (April 21, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 006166118X
• ISBN-13: 978-0061661181
• Product Dimensions: 9.4 x 6.2 x 1.2 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (68 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #15,376 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

27 of 29 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Take the Challenge to Dig Deeper, April 16, 2009

By	M S (Colorado) - See all my reviews

Like many people, I have kept tabs on the tremendous explosion of books describing or promising happiness. I tend to read them for the science, and occasionally think some strategy or tidbit of advice is worth trying out. Unfortunately, it has gotten harder and harder to find a book that offers anything new, gives me an expanded perspective, or excites me to do something more in my life.

This energetically-written book does all of those things. It's an exciting trip through a way of looking at life that embraces challenge, uncertainty, and unfamiliar territory and gives readers some great tools - and a lot of enthusiasm - for transforming anxious and ambivalent moments into a force for growth and fulfillment. The science is top-notch and cutting-edge, and flows satisfyingly into strategies and exercises for unleashing the curious explorer that lurks within us. Unlike many books, Curious? doesn't simply argue that more is always better. Curiosity can lead to troubling places and create distress, too. The book takes a frank look at this side of curiosity.

Personally, I especially appreciated Dr. Kashdan's call to make the mundane mysterious. Too often, we get complacent and allow the most important things in our lives (people, jobs, values, our capacity to think deeply about the world) to settle in place like concrete. This book is a great wake-up call.

Curious? stimulates readers to reveal for themselves the opportunities and magic that lie all around.

15 of 16 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars "Curious?" - A fresh look. A must read., May 28, 2009

By	sbmerkei (NY) - See all my reviews

For years I have contended that there was something missing which played an integral role in the development of happiness. Many books have been published with ultra focus on positive affect and "rolling with the punches", but they are incomplete without the consideration of curiosity. This book delves into a key feature of the psyche that has been overlooked for far too long. Kashdan contends that curiosity can be developed and cultivated to predisposition you for happiness in your day to day life - this is exciting news. All too often we find ourselves in jobs we don't like, social functions we abhor and blame each for our discontent. We have learned to buy many things in attempt to discover our happiness when learning to seek the novelty in day to day interactions may prove to be the keystone to development of happiness. Kashdan sets us on the path to learning, defining and developing our own curiosity. He provides the toolkit for the reader to become a curious explorer which his ground breaking book claims will allow the reader to enhance our day to day happiness.

Kashdan's writing style in Curious? is scholarly, eloquent and attainable. Throughout the book Kashdan illustrates his research using clear analogies which draw his concepts within reach of a broad spectrum of audiences.

Instead of oversimplifying Curious? Kashdan constructs his framework through a meta-analysis of his own and other prominent scholars' research results. It is apparent that Curious? is a result of Kashdan's collaborations, life experiences and observations through clinical counseling; the book does not rests on one man's narrow ideas. What makes Kashdan's observations especially strong is the fact that he has taken great lengths to maintain a macro view on his own ideas as they have formed, followed by drilling down on concepts and applying his mastery. The ideas presented are well thought out and as a result the book is thought provoking. Many will find themselves taking notes and pondering the concepts delivered along with their own outlook on life and happiness.

Brains lusting for the new/seeking a fulfilling life: I found a slew of concepts in Kashdan's book to be especially interesting. Naturally the overlying theme is that that seeking a fulfilling life is a found through seeking the new, i.e. being curious. One concept I found particularly intriguing was Kashdan's ideas surrounding conclusion/completion of a learning period. Often times we are caught up in getting things done and "checking the box" so to speak. Kashdan asks us what is next after the conclusion? Curious? addresses completion/conclusion of novelty seeking events as a fundamental problem to happiness which ultimately leads to our stagnation. This not only intuitively sounds correct, it is spot on. Think of how many times in your life you pick up a new hobby or even when you start a new job. At the start of things your mind is racing with excitement and a desire to learn all that you can. You become nearly obsessed with this knowledge seeking and time seems to fly by with states of flow, seamless efficiency and prowess, ensue. These are days, weeks, etc. that fly by without a moment's notice when competencies are at their highest. Once you learn the new job or master a hobby it is less interesting and you typically derive less joy from it. However if you take a lesson from this book you can find ways to seek the novel in the routine or mundane.

Curious? is jam packed with powerful concepts and alerts the reader to key common disconnects many of us have regarding happiness. I enjoyed seeing some "frank speak" and a fresh writing style from Kashdan throughout the book. I found myself chewing up the text and jotting notes in the margins. Kashdan accomplishes what so many scholarly writers attempt; he cleverly blends complex research into attainable concepts.

Negative Reviews:
I read several of the negative reviews prior to deciding to buy the book. One common theme I picked up on was a lack of comfort from several reviewers' ability to read/learn about some of the dark sides of curiosity or Kashan's occasional "disturbing drug references", etc. While these references may have been uncomfortable/offensive for some it would be remiss to discount and otherwise outstanding work. I found these comments to be edgy in some cases but always in good taste and often providing levity or a smile to the reader. I prefer a writer who doesn't put the blinders on and stays true to himself/herself - Kashdan didn't shy, not even from the uncomfortable topics; a great book for all.

This is an author to put on your watch list - I will be looking for his next effort!

21 of 24 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Curiouser & Curiouser, March 29, 2009

By	Paul Silvia (Greensboro, NC) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

The world of positive psychology officially has too many books about happiness. Those are good books---I won't single them out by name here---but now that we are all sitting around in a state of flourished, self-satisfied contentment, what do we do now?

In Curious, Todd Kashdan digs deeper, suggesting that a sense of curiosity, wonder, and meaning is the core of a "fulfilling life." This book is an intriguing mix of narrative, science, and practical advice. Kashdan illustrates how the science of curiosity can be put to use in daily life and how curiosity affects things as diverse as intimacy, purpose, mindfulness, relationship quality, intelligence, and, yes, even happiness. Importantly, he is candid and realistic about the dark aspects of curiosity, such as morbid interests, gossip, and obsessions.

There's a lot to say about this book---it covers an incredible amount of ground---but I suppose what it all comes down to is that I got a lot of out it. It's a provocative and illuminating book.