Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment (Hardcover)

~ (Author)
Key Phrases: like your love, Strawberry Letter, Steve Harvey Morning Show, Ask Steve (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

As a popular comedian, radio host and red-blooded male, Harvey doesn't have the bona fides typical to most women's relationship self-help, but he still manages a thorough, witty guide to the modern man. Harvey undertakes the tast because "Women are clueless about men," because "Men get away with a whole lot of stuff" and because he has "some valuable information to change all of that." Harvey makes a game effort, taking a bold but familiar men-are-dogs approach: if you're "cutting back" on sex, "he will have another woman lined up and waiting to give him what he needs and wants--the cookie." Several chapters later, however, he introduces the "ninety-day rule," asserting that, actually, he won't always have another woman lined up--and the only way to makes sure is a three-month vetting period. Harvey also tackles mama's boys, "independent--and lonely--women," and the matter of children in the dating world ("If he's meeting the kids after you decide he's the one, it's too late"). Feminists and the easily offended probably won't take to Harvey's blanket statements and blunt advice, but Harvey's fans and those in need of tough (but ticklish) love advice should check it out (especially the hysterical last-chapter Q&A).
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Review

"Women should listen to Steve Harvey when it comes to what a good man is about. Steve Harvey dispenses a lot of fabulous information about men. It's more than the average man will usually tell you. Steve Harvey will give it up." (Aretha Franklin )

"[This] book offers surprising insights into the male mentality and gives woman a few a few strategies for taming that unruly beast." (The Philadelphia Inquirer )

"Filled with practical principles, rules and tips, and illustrated with humorous and warm-hearted anecdotes from Harvey's life and friendships, ACT LIKE A LADY, THINK LIKE A MAN gives readers the real deal about the differences between the sexes and how to bridge them for a mutually rewarding partnership." (New York Beacon )

"A thorough, witty guide to the modern man....those in need of tough (but ticklish) love advice should check it out (especially the hysterical last-chapter Q&A)." (Publishers Weekly )

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 240 pages
• Publisher: Amistad (January 27, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0061728977
• ISBN-13: 978-0061728976
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.6 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (770 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #194 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

53 of 63 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars He knows his stuff. Don't overlook this one., June 6, 2009

By	Haley Johnson - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

Seriously, I know he's a comic and everything, but he's got some good advice in this book. And it's not hard to read, either. He has a lot humor that makes this book so enjoyable to read. I liked it so much, I hope he has a followup. I'd recommend it, definetly, along with Lucky In Love, Lucky In Life: How To Be Wanted-Use the Law of Attraction to Date the Man You Most Desire and Live the Life You Deserve.

198 of 247 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Mostly, I found his candor helpful, February 23, 2009

By	Kare Anderson "Kare Anderson" (Sausalito, CA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

Women are "leaving the door open for a guy to get away with something...Here's what's happened over the years," says comic and radio host Steve Harvey. "Women's standards and requirements have lowered over the years. And as men, we know that. We have taken advantage of it. We've created terms that we feed to women that allow us to exist as we do," he told Belinda Luscome when discussing his New York Times best seller, co-authored with Denene Millner, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man. For example, Harvey said (and I'm abbreviating) ...

1. We created the term "nagging." There's really no such thing as nagging. As soon as a woman starts registering her complaint, we call it nagging. We let you know it will drive us away.

2. When you first meet a man, so you don't ask a lot of personal questions, and questions about his business, we created the term gold-digger. Now why would a woman not be concerned about her financial future?

3. Three things men want from women: support, loyalty and "the cookie" (sex): "We'll take a lot of things from a woman. But we have to have these three things. You take away any one of them, you lose a man's affection."

4. Three ways men show love to women: profess, provide and protect: "We have to define love in some kind of way. The problem with women is they have this great spectrum of what love is, and they want it reciprocated the same way they give it out. But we men can only nurture to a certain degree. It's not in our DNA ... We want to profess our love. We tell everyone," he told an Atlanta audience.

5. "Men are driven by who they are, what they do, and how much they make. ... These three things make up the basic DNA of manhood-the three accomplishments every man must achieve before he feels like he's truly fulfilled his destiny as a man..., and until he's achieved his goal in those three areas, the man you're dating, committed to, or married to will be too busy to focus on you" Harvey wrote in the book.

"I've had two divorces myself. I understand. What I was never able to convey until I got a little older was why I was missing in action... trying so hard to be somebody ... not as emotionally involved," says Harvey who adds that he "could have written it (his book) in "about 35 pages.... because we're guys. We are that simple," he added in the interview.

Sometimes Harvey he sounds like he's offering 1950s Mad Men-era advice, yet not as much as Whitey Casey in The Man Plan. It gets men nodding and some women giving heated responses to him on call-in talk shows:

* Take your husbands last name. It supports men's desire to protect women.

* Men still expect women to keep a clean home.

* It is ok if women don't know how to cook as long as they "cook" in the bedroom.

Three things to ask a man "to decide if he is worth keeping", suggests Harvey, are (and these are just as valuable in reverse for men to ask women) are his:

1. Short-term goals and whether they match his long-term goals.

2. Views on family and kids.

3. Relationship with his mom

I would add:

4. Relationship to his friends

5. Views on money, especially on spending and saving.

6. Strongest values: what most matters to him in character traits and behavior.

47 of 56 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars Steve, what have you been smoking???!!!, April 27, 2009

By	M. J Soverall "ledare66" (Brooklyn, New York United States) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

So a man must be complimented for watching his OWN children, women must give up hobbie that they enjoy but their husbands are too cowardly to participate in, all men are spoiled ego centric babies who you have to treat like a spoiled child. I saw him on Oprah and thought that the book might be good until I saw the 1950's nonsense he was spewing. It is not MY job to make our home a welcoming place, it's not MY job to take care of the kids and home so you don't have to be bothered and it most certainly NOT my job to make you feel like a man. If a man doesn't know how to act like a man when you meet him, you most certainly don't want him. Steve, you made me throw up in my mouth a lot.