Facing Love Addiction: Giving Yourself the Power to Change the Way You Love (Paperback)

~ (Author), (Author), J. Keith Miller (Author) "A Love Addict is someone who is dependent on, enmeshed with, and compulsively focused on taking care of another person..." (more)
Key Phrases: avoidance addict, facing codependence, codependence recovery, Love Addicts, Higher Power, San Francisco (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

Mellody has written a lucid and informa tive book on a subject little understood: love addiction. Speaking both from per sonal experience and a clinical standpoint, she very carefully defines her terms, in cluding "love addict," "avoidance addict," and, of course, codependence. The last term she carefully distinguishes from love addiction. She also includes information on the recovery process, the marks of a healthy relationship, and the process of en tering into a healthy relationship. The book concludes with a set of journal exer cises designed to help someone in recov ery. Worthwhile reading that is recom mended for libraries serving both the professional and general reader.
-Barbara L. Flynn, Chicago P.L.
Copyright 1992 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Product Description

A brilliant new guide to understanding the origins of codependence and the path to recovery by a nationally recognized authority on dependency and addiction.

In this fresh new look at codependence, Pia Mellody traces the origins of this illness back to childhood, describing a whole range of emotional, spiritual, intellectual, physical, and sexual abuses. Because of these earlier experiences, codependent adults often lack the skills necessary to lead mature lives and have satisfying relationships.

Recovery from codependence comes from clearing up the toxic feelings left over from childhood and learning to reparent oneself by intervening on the adult symptoms of codependence. Central to Mellody's concept is the idea of the "precious child" that needs healing within each adult. She creates a framework for identifying codependent behavior and describes an effective approach to recovery that includes both therapy and self-help processes. Designed to be used with her new workbook for codependents, Breaking Free, this is a powerful tool for understanding the nature of codependence.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 240 pages
• Publisher: HarperOne; 1 edition (June 5, 1992)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0062506048
• ISBN-13: 978-0062506047
• Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 5.9 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (52 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #2,878 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

125 of 128 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The pain of discovering the hidden self., September 18, 1999

By	[e-mail] (Stratham New Hampshire) - See all my reviews

I found this book well written and comprehensive, but what was the most moving to me was the way in which it touched the most painful and sad and hidden part of my relationships. Not only does it talk about me and why I do this, but it clearly talks about my partner(s) and what they seek in this valiant but destructive and Quixotic dance we do. I did not need my highlighter, as my tears did the highlighting on each and every page. Strangely, the more I read into the book the more soothed I felt in that I understood, finally, that I am not alone, that I needn't be alone and that there is a way out from this. If you suffer in relationships in the dramatic push-pull way, if the relationships you have are frought with complicated manipulations, if you want a way out...please read this book. Best of luck. Tim

39 of 40 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Gr8 for diagnosing your prob. Vague about recovery tools, August 25, 2000

By A Customer

I am greatful to have found this book for diagnosis sake, but I don't feel equipped to conquer the problem based solely on the tools that Melody outlined. The book is essentially written in two parts. The first part describes the cycle of love addiction, what causes it, what we as love addicts need, and why what we're doing to meet these needs isn't working and will never work. As I read it, I thought "Finally someome understands me better than I understand myself! I've found help!" But the second half was a let-down. It suggested doing writing assignments, using self-control, keeping a journal and giving your problem up to a higher power. I've written hundreds of pages about my relationship problems and my cooresponding feelings, I keep a journal and I've prayed about this for years and so far it hasn't helped me. It doesn't mean I won't do the assignments she suggests, but I seriously doubt that they alone are going to transform my life. The book further suggests counseling, but doesn't offer suggestions about where to find an expert, and this is not the kind of problem your average therapist is trained to deal with. I know that from 24 years worth of therapy. This book is a wonderful first step, but it's not a do-it-yourself guide to recovery. It doesn't provide you with the tools or the answers beyond the rudimentary situations and questions and it doesn't tell you where to go for more help. (FYI: Melody is on staff at a treatment facility in Arizona, the Meadows, which specializes in treating love addiction, (among other addictions) but she doesn't mention anything about that in the book, including the kind of treatment offered there, which is unfortunate) Still, I would recommend this book to anyone who even thinks they might be a love addict, because after reading it you will know for sure and you will feel more hopeful about your future than you ever have.

36 of 37 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This Book Completely Changed My Life, September 3, 1998

By A Customer

I read this book about four or five years ago, and it helped me understand, in a way that nothing had before, why my relationships were not working. I have read several books on building healthy relationships, and many are good, but this is the one that saved my life. Pia's model explains that while I was searching for love, I was really much more afraid to receive it than I had ever thought. Before I read it, I hadn't been able to sustain any relationship for long, and had never been close to marriage. Now I am happily married, and I still turn to this book for tune-ups in my marriage. Thank you Pia, very much!