or
Sign in to turn on 1-Click ordering.
 
 
More Buying Choices
116 used & new from $2.18

Have one to sell? Sell yours here
 
   
Express Checkout with PayPhrase
What's this? | Create PayPhrase
Sorry!
The Enneagram in Love and Work: Understanding Your Intimate and Business Relationships
 
 
Tell the Publisher!
I’d like to read this book on Kindle

Don’t have a Kindle? Get your Kindle here.
 
  

The Enneagram in Love and Work: Understanding Your Intimate and Business Relationships (Paperback)

~ (Author) "Freud was once asked to define the elements of a fulfilling life; he is said to have answered, "to love and to work..." (more)
Key Phrases: selfobservation stops, subtype focus, personality bias, The Directory of Relationships, Love Living, Work In the Workplace (more...)
4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (17 customer reviews)

List Price: $16.99
Price: $13.25 & eligible for FREE Super Saver Shipping on orders over $25. Details
You Save: $3.74 (22%)
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
In Stock.
Ships from and sold by Amazon.com. Gift-wrap available.

Want it delivered Tuesday, November 10? Choose One-Day Shipping at checkout. Details
43 new from $3.99 70 used from $2.18 3 collectible from $16.90

Formats

Amazon Price New from Used from
  Hardcover -- $4.50 $0.90
  Paperback $13.25 $3.99 $2.18

Frequently Bought Together

The Enneagram in Love and Work: Understanding Your Intimate and Business Relationships + The Wisdom of the Enneagram: The Complete Guide to Psychological and Spiritual Growth for the Nine  Personality Types + The Enneagram Made Easy: Discover the 9 Types of People
Price For All Three: $41.57

Show availability and shipping details


Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought

The Enneagram: Understanding Yourself and the Others In Your Life

The Enneagram: Understanding Yourself and the Others In Your Life

by Helen Palmer
4.6 out of 5 stars (16)  $13.25
Are You My Type, Am I Yours? : Relationships Made Easy Through The Enneagram

Are You My Type, Am I Yours? : Relationships Made Easy Through The Enneagram

by Renee Baron
4.8 out of 5 stars (10)  $13.22
The Enneagram Made Easy: Discover the 9 Types of People

The Enneagram Made Easy: Discover the 9 Types of People

by Renee Baron
4.5 out of 5 stars (31)  $14.04
Personality Types: Using the Enneagram for Self-Discovery

Personality Types: Using the Enneagram for Self-Discovery

by Russ Hudson
4.6 out of 5 stars (52)  $10.85
The Spiritual Dimension of the Enneagram: Nine Faces of the Soul

The Spiritual Dimension of the Enneagram: Nine Faces of the Soul

by Sandra Maitri
4.4 out of 5 stars (14)  $10.85
Explore similar items

Editorial Reviews

Review

More than anyone, she has helped bring [the Enneagram] alive. (Tony Schwartz, Esquire )

[Palmer is] the leading teacher and practitioner of the Enneagram. (San Francisco Chronicle )

A remarkable teacher....She has uncanny skill and integrity in observation and is brilliantly clear in expression....I have found the Enneagram the most powerful method of understanding and treating individuals and relationships. (David N. Daniels, M.D., clinical professor of Psychiatry and Behavioral Science, Stanford University )

The true and best self has a chance to emerge thanks to teachers like Helen Palmer. (Richard Rohr, author of Discovering the Enneagram )


Product Description

The Ennegram is a remarkable personality typing system that defines nine types of people and how they relate. It also explains why we behave in the way we do by uncovering our unconscious motivations and deeply rooted influences. With vivid examples and insightful description, Palmer introduces the nine types -- Perfectionist, Giver, Performer, Romantic, Observer, Trooper, Epicure, Boss, and Mediator -- and illuminates each one's strengths, weakness, and potenials. Examining each type individually and in connection to other's, Palmer shows how all our relationships in love and work can thrive with a newfound understanding of our similarities and differences.


Product Details

  • Paperback: 432 pages
  • Publisher: HarperOne; 1 edition (December 15, 1995)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0062507214
  • ISBN-13: 978-0062507211
  • Product Dimensions: 7.9 x 5.3 x 1.1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (17 customer reviews)
  • Amazon.com Sales Rank: #28,642 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

    Popular in this category: (What's this?)

    #81 in  Books > Health, Mind & Body > Psychology & Counseling > Personality

More About the Author

Helen Palmer
Discover books, learn about writers, read author blogs, and more.

Visit Amazon's Helen Palmer Page

Inside This Book (learn more)



Books on Related Topics (learn more)

What Do Customers Ultimately Buy After Viewing This Item?


Tags Customers Associate with This Product

 (What's this?)
Click on a tag to find related items, discussions, and people.
 

Your tags: Add your first tag
 

Sell a Digital Version of This Book in the Kindle Store

If you are a publisher or author and hold the digital rights to a book, you can sell a digital version of it in our Kindle Store. Learn more

 

Customer Reviews

17 Reviews
5 star:
 (9)
4 star:
 (5)
3 star:
 (1)
2 star:
 (2)
1 star:    (0)
 
 
 
 
 
Average Customer Review
4.2 out of 5 stars (17 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
Share your thoughts with other customers:
Most Helpful Customer Reviews

 
28 of 29 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Makes a great gift, June 23, 2000
By A Customer
Palmer's books remain the best in a growing field. Her grasp of the subject is head and shoulders above the rest, simply because she trusts the voices of her interviewees to speak their truth rather than draw conclusions about personalities based on observation and abstraction. This is my greatest contention with Riso. His books are too "orderly" about type... people just don't fall into such tidy categories in the real world.

While I agree with other reviewers' critiques of her writing style, her grasp of the material is enormous and the insights on relationships - given the limited context of a book - are almost spooky. I've given a few copies of this book as a gift and had one couple report that the description of their types in the "Directory of Relationships" read like a psychologist's summary after meeting with them for a year. This section of the book is an ambitious undertaking by Palmer - pairing all the tupes and describing typical strengths, issues and characteristics of the combinations - and I found myself tantalized by her summaries, wanting more of her insights.

On the whole, I believe this is her best book on the subject. Some have taken a more abstract approach (Riso), others a bit more humorous one (Baron & Wagele), but Palmer's treatment of a complex system like the Enneagram is thorough, serious, and yet remains accessible. I strongly recommend this title, especially as a gift to those new to the Enneagram.

Comment Comment | Permalink | Was this review helpful to you? Yes No (Report this)



 
22 of 22 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars The Enneagram in Love & Work: Insightful and Fun.... BUT...., November 12, 2003
By Peter Messerschmidt "denmarkguy" (Port Townsend, WA, USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)      
Helen Palmer is widely viewed as one of the foremost experts on the "modern" enneagram, and her books are regarded by many as "standard" references on this system of personality typing, psychology, spirituality and self-growth. As a long-time student of the enneagram, I find that I often reach for one of her books when I have a question.

In this book, Palmer offers only the briefest of introductions to the historical background of the enneagram, and then goes on to in-depth descriptions of each of the nine enneatypes. For each type, she covers the basic personality traits, biases and preoccupations, as well briefly addressing the three "instinctual variants" found within each. She then proceeds to describe each type "in love" and "at work." In terms of love, these descriptions attempt to explain what it is like to "live with" each type, as well as that type's orientation towards intimacy and the "signals" (positive AND negative) they send to their intimate surroundings. In the "work" contexts, Palmer covers work styles, leadership styles, teamwork and areas of conflict. Overall, I found the descriptions to be quite accurate, and I gained some new insights into why people in my life behave the way they do.

The most useful part of the book is the third section, the "Directory of Relationships." This is basically a "matrix" of descriptions outlining how any given type is likely to interact with any other type. For each combination (for example, "four with nine") there is a brief description of the dynamic that might exist in a love relationship, as well as the dynamic of a boss/employee work relationship. The book is worth buying for this section, alone.

There is no "quiz" or "self test" in this book to help readers determine their enneagram type, so it is definitely beneficial to know your enneatype before starting-- otherwise be prepared to spend some time reading the different type descriptions before you can really gain much benefit from the relationship/work focus of the book's content.

I do have a few "niggles" with "The Enneagram in Love & Work;" some of which have already been touched on by prior reviewers. Palmer seems to have a somewhat uneven knowledge of each of the nine enneagram types. In spite of her "expert status," I give her the benefit of the doubtm as this is possibly a reflection that she's a follower of the "oral tradition" of the enneagram-- which revolves around learning from each type as they talk about their lives. The shortcoming of this system is that certain personality types are DRAWN to psychology workshops (thus offering a greater wealth of knowledge) while other types would have little interest in such things, thus resulting in underrepresentation and limited information. In general, though, Palmer offers many more accurate insights than questionable ones.

Another (very minor) problem I have is that Palmer starts the book by outlining the enneagram from a spiritual path perspective, setting the scene from the Bible's "Seven deadly sins" (Plus two others, which I am never quite sure where come from!), yet the entire book is basically focused on "personality type psychology." Given the body of work presented here, I think she would have done well to have provided more psychological perspectives in the introduction-- surprising, in a way, given that Helen Palmer is a practicing psychotherapist.

Final Thoughts: Recommended (8 out of possible 10 bookmarks); Palmer does a fair job of taking on the topic relationships between enneagram types, but at the end I still find myself thinking that "there's really more to it than this." This is perhaps not the most useful book for someone who's just starting out, but definitely a useful (and fun) reference for a person with some basic knowledge of the enneagram, or psychological type, in general.

Thanks for reading!

--Peter

Comment Comment | Permalink | Was this review helpful to you? Yes No (Report this)



 
63 of 74 people found the following review helpful:
2.0 out of 5 stars Excellent study, but subtly (and powerfully) flawed..., September 27, 2003
The enneagram is a psychological system that proposes nine fundamental personality types. Each type has learned from various childhood traumas to behave in a certain pattern so as to attract positive attention and repel negative attention. Perfectionists (type 1) earn love by being perfect. Helpers (type 2) earn love by being helpful. Performers (type 3) earn love through achievement and image. [The system gets more complex here.] Romantics (type 4) protect their vulnerability by longing for love at a distance. Observers (type 5) protect their vulnerability by detaching from emotions and seeking privacy. Troopers (type 6) protect their vulnerability by mistrusting love until it is "proven" safe. Epicures (type 7) protect their vulnerability by treating life as a grand adventure. [We go back to a simpler system here.] Bosses (type 8) earn love by taking charge and "fighting the good fight." Mediators (type 9) earn love by merging with their loved ones, losing all sense of self.

Okay. The rationale that Palmer presents for each type is often very reasonable. She describes typical childhood traumas for each type - for example, "Growing up in a context where survival depended on pleasing, [Helpers] gave to others to get their own needs met. [...] Wanting approval, they form an association in which they become indispensable" (63). She has very in-depth descriptions of each type, and for the most part I think she has really done her research. Five stars for her in-depth analysis.

However, there are two fundamental flaws running through the book. The first (and most obvious) is her pigeon-holing of the types into a spiritual framework of "seven deadly sins plus two not mentioned in the Bible." In order: type 1-anger, type 2-pride, type 3-deceit (not a sin, but a spiritual flaw), type 4-envy, type 5-avarice, type 6-fear (again, not a sin, but a spiritual flaw), type 7-gluttony, type 8-lust, type 9-sloth. While it's true that Perfectionists (type 1) tend to have anger-management problems, Romantics (type 4) can get envious when other people seem to function with so little effort (then again, who does't?), and Mediators (type 9) are characterized by inaction when unhappy, I wouldn't call these the over-riding passions of each type; nor would I try to create a Biblical structure in which minor habits of the types (Observers (type 5) like to be alone and are thrifty, ergo they must be avaricious) are elevated to dominant status. One star taken away for this ridiculous model.

More insidious than than her overt "sin-structure" is her bias toward Perfectionists (type 1) and against Observers (type 5). Another reviewer noted this discrepancy, so I'm not alone in this. Consider her (lousy) advice for getting along with a Perfectionist: "Do remember details. [...] They appreciate small gestures: being on time, remembering names, proper introductions. Speak respectfully. Make sure no one looks foolish. Ask for permission. Compliment thrift, effort, and dependability. Don't expect compliments in return. Cultivate your character. Set improvement goals. Don't flaunt your achievements. Admit error immediately. [...] Bring novelty and fun to relating. [...] Avoid power struggles. [Perfectionists] need to be right" (48). I cannot imagine worse advise - why not simply say, "Don't have a personality of your own, be totally available, and put everything you have into them but don't expect any effort returned." Throughout the book, Palmer privileges the Perfectionist type as inherently right. In her directory of relationships, which presumes to give advice to both partners of a romantic or work relationship, the Perfectionist is always presented as correct - in other words, Perfectionists are fine, they need no advice on how to get along with others. Everyone else has to figure out how to get along with them. One star taken away for bias.

In contrast, Observers "have a lot to learn." Her interpretation is totally skewed by her insistence that avarice is this personality type's "sin." A strong need for privacy and a monk-like ability to do without any material belongings characterize this type, yet Palmer insists that this type expresses avarice "by hoarding time and space" (137). "Detached from many of the desires and pleasures that feed the flurry of human activity," she scolds, "you watch and wait for something of significance" (135). She gives little advice for getting along with this type, and most of it simply reiterates the previous pages in bulleted format. Most crippling, however, is her constant scorn of this type. Palmer is full of "funny" stories about Observers - however, these stories are demeaning, petty, and ultimately not relevant. It's a sly way of putting down a type she obviously doesn't like, but her contempt shows through. Another star taken away for bias.

Total: two stars.

Last word: If you can wade through the compulsory mysticism and avoid the sections on Perfectionists and Observers, you have some pretty accurate reporting. Otherwise, avoid at all costs.

Comment Comment | Permalink | Was this review helpful to you? Yes No (Report this)


Share your thoughts with other customers: Create your own review
 
 
 
Most Recent Customer Reviews

3.0 out of 5 stars Worth purchasing for the relationship section, otherwise mediocre.
Helen Palmer is well-respected author in the Enneagram world. However, I don't personally find her to be one of the best in terms of accuracy, lucidity and covering a lot of... Read more
Published on May 2, 2006 by Patrick D. Goonan

5.0 out of 5 stars One of the Best Relationship Books of All Time
I was never one for long reviews...but there are only a few books that are a MUST for your library and this is one of them. Read more
Published on December 17, 2005 by Chris Mele

5.0 out of 5 stars I was astounded...
I borrowed this book from an instructor who was teaching the Enneagram to a small group of interested people. Read more
Published on May 10, 2004 by SueP

5.0 out of 5 stars Enneagram in Love and Work
Excellent book. Improves your interations with others by providing insight into others' perspectives. Read more
Published on May 7, 2004

5.0 out of 5 stars Application of enneagram in work and love-interesting study
While many books on the Enneagram have been published, Helen Palmer has done one where the Enneagram is applied against the the dynamics of relationships and the workplace... Read more
Published on January 1, 2004 by Daniel J. Hamlow

5.0 out of 5 stars Very insightful identification of types.
The perfect book on this subject will never be written, however many of the types identified in this book resonated with my personal observations. Read more
Published on January 16, 2002 by John Peck

5.0 out of 5 stars Fast and complete!
This is the best enneagram book I've found. It's easy and fun to learn about yourself, your mate, and the people you work with. Read more
Published on February 9, 2000 by Robert R. Schroeder

4.0 out of 5 stars Outstanding and easy to follow guide to the enneagram.
This book reviews each number of the enneagram with great detail, then describes the relationship between all of the numbers in love and in work. Read more
Published on March 29, 1999

2.0 out of 5 stars Some nuggets, but you have to dig
This is Helen Palmer's second book, and a bit disappointing. The information here is somewhat better than her first book as one would hope, but "Love and Work" is poorly... Read more
Published on December 17, 1998

4.0 out of 5 stars Despite the flawed grammar, it's a must for enneagram users.
I found her book after reading several other books on the subject. Her book was superior, in that it was more than a clinical analyzation of the enneagram. Read more
Published on November 20, 1998

Only search this product's reviews



Customer Discussions

This product's forum
Discussion Replies Latest Post
No discussions yet

Ask questions, Share opinions, Gain insight
Start a new discussion
Topic:
First post:
Prompts for sign-in
 


Active discussions in related forums
Search Customer Discussions
Search all Amazon discussions
   




Product Information from the Amapedia Community

Beta (What's this?)


Look for Similar Items by Category


Look for Similar Items by Subject

 

Feedback

If you need help or have a question for Customer Service, contact us.
 Would you like to update product info or give feedback on images?
Is there any other feedback you would like to provide?

Your comments can help make our site better for everyone.


Your Recent History

 (What's this?)

After viewing product detail pages or search results, look here to find an easy way to navigate back to pages you are interested in.