Spiritual Divorce: Divorce As a Catalyst for an Extraordinary Life (Hardcover)

by Debbie Ford (Author) "By the end of our first year of marriage I think we both knew it would never last..." (more)
Key Phrases: karmic cords, divorce vow, spiritual divorce, Law of Acceptance, The Forum, Law of Responsibility (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review
Whether you are the one who leaves or the one who is left, divorce is a painful, wrenching experience, explains author Debbie Ford. Since Ford is comfortable dwelling in the shadow side of life, it's not surprising that she believes that the excruciating pain of divorce can lead to enormous spiritual growth. "Emotional turmoil can be a powerful catalyst to reconnect us with our divine nature," she writes. "It propels us into a journey of self discovery and urges us to learn how to love and accept our entire being." Herein lies the promise of a "spiritual divorce."

Because Ford is a highly effective workshop leader, she has a knack for breaking down spiritual matters into manageable bites. She is also willing to share the truth of her own painful divorce, allowing readers to see her initial pain and consuming resentments. Ford divides her book into seven laws, beginning with the "The Law of Acceptance," where readers are asked to imagine a benevolent divine order at play rather than taking a blaming stance. In the section titled "The Law of Responsibility," Ford encourages readers to gently begin the process of taking responsibility for their own darkest qualities. This is the thrust of Ford's highly respected shadow work--illuminating the dark side so we can stand in divine light. Each section ends with "Healing Action Steps," where Ford suggests specific exercises or meditations. For example, in the final chapter Ford asks readers to make a new "divorce vow" that is a lifelong commitment to one's highest self. --Gail Hudson

From Publishers Weekly
Despite the deluge of books on divorce, Ford (The Dark Side of the Light Chasers) still manages to offer a fresh perspective on this difficult and potentially devastating experience, which she identifies as "one of the darkest times in most people's lives." Calling on the popular tenets of 12-step programs and A Course in Miracles, Ford advises readers to view divorce as a "spiritual wake-up call" that "propels us to a journey of self-discovery," an opportunity to learn the lessons sent by the Universe or God, to "align with the destiny of our higher selves [and] our soul's purpose." While these tenets are no longer new, Ford applies them for the first time in this area, guiding readers with her Seven Spiritual Laws: Acceptance, Surrender, Divine Guidance, Responsibility, Choice, Forgiveness and Creation. Her clear and uncomplicated structure makes it easy for readers to absorb the underlying principles through meditation, prayer and the "healing action steps" presented at the end of each chapter. A workshop facilitator with the Chopra Center for Well Being, Ford knows the self-help/divorce audience intimately. Her first-hand experience of her parents' divorce as well as her own lends authenticity and empathy to what would otherwise be an abstract philosophy. Her voice is positive, encouraging, understanding, loving toward self and others and deeply personal, making this a better book than her first one; it could well become recommended reading for all divorcing couples. (Feb.)Forecast: The success of Ford's first book and her affiliation with Deepak Chopra will, along with her 12-city lecture tour, spur interest in this worthy book and prompt healthy sales.

Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 240 pages
• Publisher: HarperOne; 1 edition (January 9, 2001)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0062516957
• ISBN-13: 978-0062516954
• Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 6.3 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars See all reviews (54 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #477,221 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

44 of 44 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars "New Eyes", January 16, 2001

By	Rusty Appell "dusty1148" (Boca Raton, Florida) - See all my reviews

If you are thinking about ending your marriage, seperated or already divorced, Debbie Ford shines a bright light on the path toward reclaiming your spirit. You can spend years in therapy or sit down and absorb the insights that Debbie offers as she shares candidly and with great passion, the journey to not only heal, but rediscover who you are and where you are headed.

In a quote from Proust Debbie captures how we must shift our vision when confronted with the pain, fear, anger and uncertainty that divorce bestows upon us - "The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes."

Through Ford's new eyes and personal divorce experience, we learn from and make peace with what we are leaving behind and focus on what new vistas and opportunities are opening up for us. She offers 7 spiritual laws for healing and takes us through these stages with examples that we can all relate to. We begin with acceptance and move along through various stages, including forgiveness and accepting responsiblity. We transform this experience into a new future, filled with the power, energy and knowledge we have gathered from this life lesson.

Debbie guides us through this journey with support, warmth and enthusiasm and the reader is left with the vision of unlimited opportunities by seeing tomorrow through "new eyes". I have read many books on divorce, but none as powerful,hopeful and motivating as "Spiritual Divorce". Thank you Ms. Ford for lighting the way for me.

41 of 41 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Great book for the newly divorced/separated, January 29, 2001

By	G. Powell (Seattle, WA USA) - See all my reviews (TOP 1000 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)

The basic mantra of this book is "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" and until you let go of your anger toward your former SO, you won't heal. This message is repeated over and over, in many very helpful ways.

When I was first seperated, I was a victim of cloudy thinking, life as I knew it was over. And while that was true, it has become a spring board for personal growth and a new life. It's the no pain, no gain theory of life. While I would not advocate this life experience as good plan, if it happens to you, you might as well use it as an opportunity to grow.

While it has been a number of years since the divorce, I still found some good information about myself within the pages of this book. Plus it was an affirmation that the course I was on is the right one. (Also people thinking about getting married, might do well to read this for the information on how not to choose a mate, as Ms. Ford goes over what happened with her marriage. The misplaced expectations and poor commuincation.)

40 of 42 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars "Blessed by divorce.", January 16, 2002

By	G. Merritt (Boulder, CO) - See all my reviews (TOP 100 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)

This review is from: Spiritual Divorce: Divorce As a Catalyst for an Extraordinary Life (Paperback)

"A Spiritual Divorce is one in which we use our divorce to improve our lives and our experience becomes one of gain rather than loss," Debbie Ford writes in the opening pages of her 209-page guide to an extraordinary life after divorce. "A Spiritual Divorce brings us back into the presence of our highest self and heals the split between our ego and our soul" (p. 5). After studying Transpersonal Psychology at JFK University (p. 29), Ford became a healing workshop facilitator at the Chopra Center for Well Being. She writes from experience, and she knows the pain of divorce.

The "divorce drama" leaves many of us feeling diminished and bereft. I've learned from my own experience there is no set timetable for recovery from divorce. After my divorce, while others advised me to "get mad and get over," my heart told me to embrace my loss and integrate it along with the pain into my new life. This is also the premise of Ford's book which, after several readings, has helped me move beyond a very painful place in my life. She encourages us to step into the storm of of our turbulent emotions, for "we can't heal what we can't feel" (p. 80). The painful experience of divorce represents "a sacred and significant time" in our lives that provides us with an opportunity to know our deepest selves (p. 80). In that respect, divorce is like a gift from the universe.

After an insightful Foreward by Neale Donald Walsh, Ford's book follows "The Seven Spiritual Laws of Divorce:" Acceptance (pp. 11-38); Surrender (pp. 39-56); Divine Guidance (pp. 57-74); Responsibility (pp. 75-126); Choice (pp. 127-66); Forgiveness (pp. 167-86); and Creation (pp. 187-210), showing us along the way, that the breakdown of one's marriage is for the highest good (p. 9), that suffering is really nothing more than the difference between what is and what we want it to be (p. 49), and that we have a choice in how we interpret our experiences (pp. 136-47). Ford encourages us to think of divorce as an enlightening experience, a spiritual wake-up call, and an opportunity for renewal rather than ruin. For anyone hoping to recover from a failed relationship, SPIRITUAL DIVORCE is a step in the right direction. And for anyone who has made the painful journey through a failed marriage, reading Ford's SPIRITUAL DIVORCE might just leave you wanting to send your ex-spouse a thank-you card.

G. Merritt