Dealing With People You Can't Stand (Paperback)

~ (Author), (Author) "In your repertoire of communication skills there exist varying degrees of knowledge and ignorance, with their consequent interpersonal strengths and weaknesses..." (more)
Key Phrases: nonverbal blending, searchlight question, thwarted intent, Quick Summary, Difficult People History, Great Moments (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

Whether at work or at home, we all have to deal with people we can't stand to be around. Our challenge is to develop creative ways to handle these difficult people. Brinkman and Kirschner, both doctors of naturopathic medicine and professional speakers, have just made our job easier with this lively guidebook, in which they identify and explore the psychological roots of ten specific behavior patterns that represent normal people at their worst. Realizing that changing oneself is more realistic than changing the behavior of others, the authors provide a variety of communicative skills that we can cultivate in ourselves to turn conflict into cooperation. Finally, Brinkman and Kirschner (How To Handle Difficult People with Tact and Skill, McGraw, 1994) illustrate how to use these skills with each of the ten problem behaviors. While all problem behaviors might not fit nicely into one of their ten categories, the authors do provide a dynamic assortment of interpersonal communication tools for managing most difficult people. Highly recommended for all libraries.
David R. Johnson, Louisiana State Univ. Lib., Eunice
Copyright 1994 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Product Description

Do you know people who try to intimidate you? Or who waffle about decisions? Do you ever get tired of hearing, "That won't work," or "It's not my fault"? Now devotees of Brinkman and Kirschner's seminars and tapes can enjoy their insights in book form, while new fans discover the duo's tested techniques for bringing out the best in people at their worst. With wit and wisdom, the authors identify the 10 types of difficult people on the job-including tanks, snipers, grenades, know-it-alls, and think-they-know-it-alls. Step by step, they show exactly how to get results with each.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 208 pages
• Publisher: McGraw-Hill Companies; 1 edition (August 1, 1994)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0070078386
• ISBN-13: 978-0070078383
• Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 5.8 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (44 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #672,898 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

81 of 82 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The best conflict book for managers PERIOD, November 19, 2002

By	Mark A. Horstman (Fredericksburg, TX USA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

If you're a manager and have to deal with the day to day complaints and conflicts of a workplace, this is the best book I've read about it, without question.
I'm a leadership consultant and my firm spends a lot of time mediating conflicts and facilitating meetings where I have to get people on the same page. I have formal training in negotation, and mediation, and all that other more formal stuff. And a lot of it works. But the question I get asked over and over again is "what do I do when the conflict doesn't justify outside assistance? What about the DAY TO DAY conflicts - one of my people refuses to bend her schedule, another won't come in on time, another won't try to work with a sister department, my boss won't give me the resources I need." Well, this is that book. It lays out a simple concept of conflict (other people see things differently from you and therefore act differently), and then does something that SO FEW of the other books do: it tells you exactly what to say and how to say it. I have had my fill of books which tell me to "be nice" or "work towards a compromise". My response is, I know that, but how do I DO that? How do I keep the other person from popping off at me? THIS BOOK does that. It's simple - exactly right for line managers with DAY to DAY conflicts.

93 of 98 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A book that really helps!, May 13, 2001

By	Dennis Rossow "DocRoss" (Lake Zurich, IL USA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This is the finest book I've read on handling difficult people. As a training director for a large company, I've read many books on this subject, and trained interpersonal skills for years. This book is the CLEAREST, most practical book on the subject.

The ten types of difficult people are now in my vocabulary, and help me instantly size up a situation so I can handle it better. The authors detail practical steps to take with each style, making it easier to increase your confidence in difficult situations.

Most of all the authors encourage the reader to change his or her behavior, and the last chapter even offers the idea of the reader being a difficult person, in order to further reinforce the skills that this book teaches.

A real winner, and a book that has helped my career and my sanity.

49 of 50 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This Book Changed my career (for the better!), March 8, 2000

By	Eric Leberg "ealeberg" (Everett, Washington) - See all my reviews

I'm a felony probation officer. I deal with difficult people. I applied the clear techniques provided with an offender described for years as "a real nasty guy...." by previous probation officers. The technique worked immediately, the man expressed appreciation saying "You are the first person in your department who ever understood me...I'll do exactly what you told me to do." I could relate scores of other times these techniques have helped over the years. Rick & Rick's set of tapes is also extremely helpful. You won't be sorry you learned this stuff.