Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High [Paperback]

Kerry Patterson (Author), Joseph Grenny (Author), Ron McMillan (Author), Al Switzler (Author), Stephen R. Covey (Author)

Editorial Reviews

Review

"What a profound and timely book! Here is the cure for arguments and misunderstandings; for mediocrity and frustration. This book offers a wealth of principles and skills that will dramatically improve your career, your organization, and your relationships." Stephen R. Covey

Product Description

Foreword by Stephen R. Covey, Author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

A PAPERBACK ORIGINAL

"Most books make promises. This one delivers. These skills have not only helped us to change the culture of our company, but have also generated new techniques for working together in ways that enabled us to win the largest contract in our industry's history."--Dain M. Hancock, President, Lockheed Martin Aeronautics

A powerful, seven-step approach to handling difficult conversations with confidence and skill

"Crucial" conversations are interpersonal exchanges at work or at home that we dread having but know we cannot avoid. How do you say what needs to be said while avoiding an argument with a boss, child, or relationship partner? Crucial Conversations offers readers a proven seven-point strategy for achieving their goals in all those emotionally, psychologically, or legally charged situations that can arise in their professional and personal lives. Based on the authors' highly popular DialogueSmart training seminars, the techniques are geared toward getting people to lower their defenses, creating mutual respect and understanding, increasing emotional safety, and encouraging freedom of expression. Among other things, readers also learn about the four main factors that characterize crucial conversations, and they get a powerful six-minute mastery technique that prepares them to work through any highimpact situation with confidence.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 256 pages
• Publisher: McGraw-Hill; 1 edition (June 18, 2002)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0071401946
• ISBN-13: 978-0071401944
• Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 6 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (201 customer reviews)
• Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #229 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

  #2 in	Books > Business & Investing > Skills > Communications
  #1 in	Books > Reference > Etiquette > Conversation
  #2 in	Books > Health, Mind & Body > Relationships > Interpersonal Relations

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

42 of 48 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Fluffy, but very good, April 23, 2007

By	Brian Bex Huff "bex" (Minneapolis, MN, USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High (Paperback)

This is kind of a fluffy business book... I generally hate these books, but this one has a creamy nougat center of knowledge that I've never encountered before. At 200 pages, its a must read. Please ignore the Franklin Covey vibe: the authors really have something important to say.

This book solidifies what many have said before: those who genuinely understand how to communicate have all the power in this world. It's not about knowledge, skills, manipulation, or strength... Those who can get groups of people who distrust each other to come to genuine consensus will always have power. Why? Because its so incredibly difficult... and its so incredibly important.

This book helps you identify the behaviors that help -- and the behaviors that hurt -- when building consensus. Make no mistake about it: human beings are poorly designed to get along with each other. Our brains are wired for competition. At most we co-operate with genetically similar groups. Evolution has wired us to not want to work together with people too different from ourselves, lest we threaten our own survival.

That may have been useful 2000 years ago in highly competitive tribal cultures, but in the modern world such prejudice is usually counterproductive.

This book helps you identify which behaviors may be hindering you. When confronted, a human's instinct is fight or flight. In a conversation, the fight instinct comes out in argument, sarcasm, or belittling. Likewise, the flight instinct comes out as keeping quiet and doing nothing, or totally ignoring what the other person said... typical passive-aggressive behavior.

This book also presents exercises to help you keep a cool head, communicate clearly, and get things done... despite your evolutionary wiring.

If you read this book, and practice their exercises a lot, you will slowly gain a reputation as somebody who can really make things happen.

Highly recommended!

75 of 93 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Insightful, practical, engaging--an exceptional book!, May 6, 2003

By A Customer

This review is from: Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High (Paperback)

When I obtained a copy of Crucial Conversations, I had very high expectations of this book having read the authors' outstanding earlier work, The Balancing Act. I must say I wasn't disappointed; in fact, I was delighted! Crucial Conversations is an extremely insightful and very practical book. Indeed, it is a very rare combination to find a book that contains profound ideas as well as provides actionable tools and Crucial Conversations delivers both.

The book addresses a topic that is largely misunderstood and vastly underestimated: high stakes dialogue. The authors define crucial conversations as those where 1) stakes are high, 2) opinions vary, and 3) emotions run strong, or in other words, much of both our professional and personal lives. We're all involved in crucial conversations at home and at work but most of us are not very aware of the interpersonal dynamics at play and/or we're unskilled in how to respond differently. The book helps the reader first understand the principles involved in "crucial conversations" but then also helps the reader develop real skills and abilities to choose or change their communication patterns. The end result is remarkable. The book's impact is a much bigger idea than simple communication--it's all about effective human interaction and getting results with and through people.

The book is highly readable, extremely engaging and actually quite fun. It is filled with illustrations and stories from all walks of life: business examples, personal examples and family examples. The fact that the principles and skills the authors teach can be applied in all dimensions of life--work, home, personal--is very appealing to me and made the book extremely helpful on many fronts.

I benefitted most from this book from a business standpoint and have found that applying these skills has made a real difference at work. I'm more courageous and more considerate at the same time. I understand people better but I especially understand myself better. I'm far more conscious and aware of my dialogue with others and I've greatly improved my skills and abilities to lead effectively. The bottom line is, I'm helping my company get better results and I'm far more effective personally. If more people in business were to apply these principles and skills in the frequent crucial conversations they have at work, they would make better decisions, achieve better results and do it all in a way that would build the trust and strengthen relationships. I couldn't give a book higher marks. Outstanding!

11 of 11 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Crucial Conversations, March 5, 2003

By	Chris Osorio (Orlando, Fl. USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High (Paperback)

As an executive coach working in merger integration activity for many years I have found that the wisdom found in Crucial Conversations can be worth millions and even hundreds of millions of dollars to the clients I work with. Far too many mergers fail because executives avoid having crucial conversations. Finding an authentic path to work through tough issues and critical moments of truth while building long term relationships is a real art. Crucial conversations is filled with practical wisdom from individuals who have discovered "simplicity on the far side of complexity" as it relates to this most difficult and important subject. In my business and personal life, I have found the ideas in this book are invaluable in helping get to the root of difficult issues while maintaining and even enhancing relationships. Very insightful and brilliantly practical.