Finding Ben : A Mother's Journey Through the Maze of Asperger's (Hardcover)

by Barbara LaSalle (Author) "MY SON BENJAMIN was born three weeks late..." (more)
Key Phrases: Miss Reed, San Francisco, Asperger's Syndrome (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Booklist
Extremely rare is the mother who doesn't worry about whether she is a good parent, and it is easy to become obsessed trying to do everything right for one's child. With all her worries when she gave birth to Benjamin, kindergarten teacher LaSalle was typical. She wanted to be a perfect mother to a perfect--read normal--child. But Ben was anything but normal. While LaSalle misguidedly persisted in trying to be the perfect mother, the real, imperfect Ben got lost in a blind alley of misdiagnosis, mistaken counsel, and, finally, imprisonment. It was 25 years before he was correctly diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, a high-functioning form of autism. Naming the disorder, however, didn't solve LaSalle's biggest problem. She still wanted Ben to be perfect (i.e., normal), and it was nearly another decade before she learned that he was perfect just as he was. Although their hard-learned wisdom was a side effect of Ben's catastrophic developmental disorder, mother and son both have much to share with all parents in this well-written account. Donna Chavez
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

Review
"...heartfelt memoir ... a good job of showing the thin line between gifted and disabled that exists with Asperger’s children." -- Library Journal, February 15, 2003

"...mother and son both have much to share with all parents in this well-written account." -- Booklist Magazine, April 1, 2003

"An introspective, honest account that may offer solace, if not hope, to other families coping with challenging children." -- Kirkus, February 2003

"Finding Ben" beautifully chronicles her own journey to understand her son with the encyclopedic mind and distressingly separate world. -- Washington Post, June 1, 2003

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 256 pages
• Publisher: McGraw-Hill; 1 edition (March 21, 2003)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 007140225X
• ISBN-13: 978-0071402255
• Product Dimensions: 8.7 x 5.9 x 1.1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars See all reviews (29 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #1,098,519 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Candid and Encouraging, July 26, 2003

By	Haley Parnham (NJ) - See all my reviews

I have recently become involved in the life of a child with Asperger's Syndrome through my relationship with his father. After raising a "normal" child myself, I found myself drifting through this maze of "AS" that Barbara LaSalle describes in the book FINDING BEN.

Her candid descriptions of her feelings and her realization of what she needed to do as a parent of her remarkable yet frustrating son helped me tremendous. I was on the brink of realizing that I needed to accept the "AS" child in my life as he was and not try to make him something he wasn't. This book helped me understand that I was on the right track, finally!

I'm sure I'll still have frustrating days with our "Ben" but I will never again feel as though I'm alone in my struggles.

The comments by Barbara's son, Ben, were wonderful and I can't thank him enough for being open about his feelings and his difficulties. He really is incredible.

I emailed the author with a question of my own and received a quick and ready response within hours. How refreshing for me to be able to ask a question that has troubled me for months.

You will find this book entertaining and informational even if Asperger's Syndrome is a brand new topic for you. And if you're a part of this world of "AS" people, it shouldn't disappoint you.

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Finding Ben, April 6, 2003

By	Phyllis Eisenberg (Sherman Oaks, CA USA) - See all my reviews

No one should think that they can return to a regular life after reading this book. Forget computers, TV'S, VCR's, DVD's. Skip nail filing, phones ringing, mail checking. Postone forever planning, talking, flossing. And don't bother cleaning your smeary eye glasses since you won't ever need to read anything else.

You can only hold on to your heart because it is so filled after reading "Finding Ben." It's the opposite of a heart attack when everything goes wrong. The rightnesss of it moves little by little then moves bigger and bigger and bigger until your heart is so full that you have to let go of something so at first you can only let go of the water part that has moved
into your eyes and the extra shiny part that has moved into your soul. And you don't know - you cannot know about letting go of other parts until more time has elapsed since the last page.

The power and the beauty of this extraordinary book reaches far, far beyond its Asperger's audience causing readers to understand what they've never understood before about what it means to be human.

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Highly recommend, April 17, 2003

By A Customer

I bought this book at the recommendation of a good friend and read it straight through as soon as it arrived. I highly recommend this book for all parents of children with Asperger Syndrome. Parents of adult children with AS will likely recognize the frustration of no diagnosis, but it has something to offer parents of any age child. It is a very personal story that will touch the heart of all readers. I cried several times while reading this book. I cried for Ben, I cried for his mother, I cried for my own child and I cried for myself. We love our AS children. We want the very best for them and always to see them in a positive light, but the truth is that sometimes it's very hard. It was refreshing to read a book that touched on some of pain and reality that few are comfortable discussing. I don't want anyone to think that this book is a complete downer or that it portrays AS in a negative light. It's about a journey--one that every parent of a child with AS must take. Some of those journeys will be easier and some will be harder but in the end we all share common experiences and will relate to this story. I truly believe that some of what I learned while reading Finding Ben will make me a better parent to my own child. Thanks to the author.