Most Helpful Customer Reviews
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24 of 25 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
I Can Now Move On, April 1, 2004
By A Customer
A while ago I bought the book "Creating Optimism" on Amazon. I bought it because I was desperate and my depression had brought me to near suicide (I have seriously tried to kill myself on a number of occasions).I have survived not just physical and sexual abuse in my childhood, but also well-intentioned but fruitless therapy and a wide variety of antidepressants. None helped. I didn't understand why my parents had mistreated me and what motivated the uncle who molested whom and who everyone thought was so kind. I always though that it was somehow my fault. However, after reading Bob Murray and Alicia Fortinberry's book I can now understand what drove them. I can see that they were victims of a society gone mad. However the most valuable thing, for me, was the final understanding that it was not my fault-none of it: not the beatings, not the sexual molesting, not the enduring criticism. I now see their actions in the light of their family history. It was so liberating to be able to put the pieces together with the help of the book's clearly laid out exercises. For the first time in my life I feel truly innocent. Everyone who has suffered abuse of whatever kind should get the book and be so liberated. I can now move on. I have already ditched a boyfriend who was critical and who verbally abused me. I have found the strength to actively search for a better job and I have laid down boundaries with my parents and my fiends that I never could have done before. To the authors of "Creating Optimism" I say: Thank you, thank you!
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17 of 17 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Simple Steps That Work, April 2, 2004
Because depression runs in my family (as well as myself), I've read just about every self-help book on the topic. "Creating Optimism: A Proven, Seven-Step Program for Overcoming Depression" helped me to see this insidious illness in a totally new light and gave me real hope that I--and other family members--can indeed overcome it. The seven steps make sense to me: 1. Identify and defeat the inner saboteur (I discovered aspects of my childhood "programming" that years of therapy hadn't uncovered)2. Reconnect to your body (Because the co-author, Alicia Fortinberry, is a trained Feldenkrais practitioner, she has a very practical approach to freeing the body from the trauma of the past) 3. Create healing relationships (This is the meat of the book, and offers a step-by-step program that is already working for me) 4. Elevate your self-esteem (What a surprise for me to discover that it's OK to get your self-esteem from others,we all do, and to learn exactly how to do that) 5. Uncover your competence (I found out how to identify what I am best at and enjoy most, and then how to enlist others in the process of making me shine at it)6. Access the power of shared purpose (This includes the three criteria for a successful life purpose and you'll never guess them) and 7. Deepen your relationship to the Divine (I always knew insinctively that part of the solution to depression had to be spiritual, but I didn't understand how to find the right way for me to use my own spiritualty to heal until I read this book.)As you can tell from this brief run-down, the book is packed with unique information and really practical, "doable" (one of the authors' favorite words) actions you can take. They make sense to me. I suggest you check them out.
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17 of 18 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Raves From a Health Professional, February 7, 2004
I think of myself as an expert on depression and its treatment, since I'm a nurse who works in mental health and am married to a man who suffers from terrible bouts of depression. Yet I was very surprised by how much I learned from "Creating Optimism: A Proven, Seven-Step program for Overcoming Depression." First, I discovered why antidepressants and even conventional therapy don't work for many sufferers. That was certainly true for my husband. After reading the book, both of us understand so much more about what caused his illness-and what we now believe he needs to do to overcome it. By stating what we really need from each other, as the book taught us to do, we've already improved our relationship a lot. I'd never had the guts to tell him that I couldn't always do what he asked-and when I finally did, he said he was actually relieved I was being honest. But he did tell me some simple things I could do for him that would help, and they've made a difference. I also asked him to do some things for me-such as praise me for who I am, not just what I do for him-that have helped me feel better. "Creating Optimism" also helped me better understand many of my patients, and I've recommended it to colleagues. We need to keep in mind that it's the relationship our patients have with us and others that's the real cure. The most moving part of the book to me was how Bob and Alicia share about how their relationship was the most important part of Alicia's healing. I was blown away by the pages at the end, where Bob describes what it was like for him to live with and love a severely depressed person-including his frustration at times and his need for strong boundaries- and how he learned to become part of the solution without losing himself. I really recommend "Creating Optimism" to anyone who suffers from depression and anxiety, works professionally with people who do, or cares about someone who does.
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