Looking for Mary: (Or, the Blessed Mother and Me) (Compass) (Paperback)

~ (Author) "Six years before I landed in Bosnia, the Virgin Mary was no more than a dim memory, another fairy tale from my childhood as I..." (more)
Key Phrases: apparition sites, radio documentary, Our Lady, Father Freed, New York (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Stereotypes abound concerning pilgrims to the Bosnian village of Medjugorje (where the Virgin Mary has allegedly been appearing since 1981), who claim to witness all manner of miracles: spinning suns, medals of the Virgin turning to gold, Mary herself scurrying down a street in a gray gown. Donofrio's new book, which took shape as a series on National Public Radio, explodes these stereotypes. It begins when, against all logic, the author begins flooding her home with images of the Virgin. Donofrio follows a hunch by going to Medjugorje, as a writer rather than a devotee, but that pretense quickly dissolves. She becomes a believer, though not in any cookie-cutter, uncritical sense. Listening to a stern Franciscan berate pilgrims in Medjugorje, she says, "I do not want to be a crazy, sign-seeing, rose-smelling, rigid, right-to-life Catholic"Dand though she sees signs and smells roses before long, she avoids both insanity and rigidity. Donofrio forges her own relationship with Mary, expressed partly through the institutional Catholic Church and partly despite and around it. While the crises in her own lifeDa troubled relationship with her son, a series of failed love affairs and unresolved ambiguities about an abortionDpropel Donofrio's quest, this chronicle does not read like an exercise in wish-fulfillment. It feels rather like the story of a woman who, after decades of seeking, found her mother, and through her, discovered herself. (Aug.)
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Library Journal

This is the second book by Donofrio, who gained recognition with her popular Riding in Cars with Boys: Confessions of a Bad Girl Who Makes Good, which is currently being made into a feature film. Here Donofrio continues to utilize her autobiographical writing style, this time describing a spiritual path. Donofrio chronicles an outer journey that began with an irreligious interest in collecting statues of the Virgin Mary and continued as she visits many American locations where Mary has allegedly been sighted. Her curiosity eventually provoked her to travel to the famed Bosnian city of Medjugorje. All these experiences paralleled a more profound inner journey of spiritual transformation. Deeply personal and wonderfully written, this book invites the reader to confront skeptical attitudes about religion, religious practices, and religious dogmas and step into the divine light. All this from a most unlikely prophet. Recommended for public libraries.DJohn-Leonard Berg, Univ. of Wisconsin, Platteville
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 272 pages
• Publisher: Penguin (Non-Classics) (August 7, 2001)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0140196277
• ISBN-13: 978-0140196276
• Product Dimensions: 7.6 x 5 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (48 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #97,241 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

33 of 36 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Donofrio's book is a Godsend, October 16, 2000

By	Nancy Rainey (Landisville, PA USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Looking for Mary (Hardcover)

I love when God sends us unlikely teachers. Beverly Donofrio is to renewed adult Catholic faith as Anne Lamott is to renewed adult Protestant faith. Both are women with pasts who have worked through them to ask for forgiveness. I LOVED this book. I am at a place where I am coming back to God after a 10 year absence. When we baby boomers rejected our Catholic faith it was for the very same reasons Donofrio did: birth control, a woman's right to chooses, and the antiquated patriarchal hierarchy of THE CHURCH. But organized religion and faith are two different things. By tossing out the perceived bad, we unfortunately threw the baby out with the bath water. There are so many positive aspects to Catholicism. Donofrio reminds us that one of those pluses is Jesus' mother, Mary. I was truly moved by this book. And it has accelerated my own walk of faith back to the Catholic church. Having women who decry the unfairness of some aspects of the Catholic Church as members of the church is not a bad thing. It's like having liberals in the Republican party. Donofrio has given us an important work. Perhaps she will start a revolution of sorts. Millions of baby boomers praying the rosary. (I just ordered one.) Mary is also a comfort to the many women who are victims of male abuse who have trouble with the image of father as God. Mary is the mother we all need; the mother we want to be. Thanks Beverly for reminding us.

10 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars inspiring on so many levels!, July 12, 2002

By	Margaret Bingham "patchingpeg" (Akron, OH USA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

If you are Catholic and struggling, read this book! If you are a woman, a mother and struggling, read this book! If you need inspiration or faith, read this book!

What a wonderful read! I found this book accidently and Beverly would suggest that maybe I was led to it. I wouldn't argue with her.

Between the de-emphasis on Mary in the current US Catholic Church and the criticism of my Prostestant friends, I had lost a commitment to Mary. The rosary was passe and praying to her constituted icon worship. Though I am still grappling with the likelihood of the Assumption, Beverly's experiences have opened my heart to the love and support that Mary can provide. The Hail Mary is again tripping off my tongue.

Beverly speaks directly from her heart into the reader's with a voice that is real and powerful.

Yes, I believe Mary has a job for Beverly and it has started beautifully with this book.

12 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Guilt! Travels! Miracles! And The B.V.M!, January 12, 2002

By A Customer

I loved this autobiography; one really comes to like and admire Beverly (hard to imagine not being on a first name basis with her by the book's end ) both for the courage in pouring her heart out and the witty charm of her writing style. A rare combination indeed.

For Protestants who believe that Mary equals idolatry, do not worry, sometimes whole weeks go by and we Catholics do not see a statue of Mary weeping tears of blood at our local parish.

Besides, this narrative is unlikely to make it into a Catholic Book of the Month Club (Is there such a thing?) what with Beverly deliberately writing that she hoped Jesus and Mary Magdalene got it on, that she couldn't bring herself to see J.P # 2 despite being granted a Papal audience because his stance on birth control and women in general is barbarically primitive; and that she loves worshipping (she knows damn well the party line is 'venerating') The Blessed Virgin Mary--or as Beverly refers to her, the B.V.M.

What we've got here is a repentant Christian, who is brought back to the Church, in spite of herself, through the Grace of The B.V.M.--who is frankly aware of the absurdity of her condition and yet tremendously grateful.

As for the travelogue, Beverly takes us to the spiritual heights of Medjurgoje; where seeing the sun spin out of orbit or having silver medals that turn into gold is commonplace enough to be blase, to the abyss of whitebread West Los Angeles, California, where a young priest beams at the congregation while recounting how much he likes to rollerblade (Like, groovy, dude!)

In the end, our heroine finds a home, liturgy and peace in Mexico. But the travels are only part of the panorama of sinners, saints, zealots, bigots, and other assorted lunatics which make up The Church (and this book.)

The redemption of Beverly is a bittersweet story. Hardest to take is her self-flagellation at not having been a good mother to her son, Jason,---who must be pushing 30 and sounds like he's turned out really quite well.

Even though to hear Beverly tell it, she sounds as if she sold him to child prostitution and broke his bones to get alms from strangers on the adcvice of her boyfriends.

Beverly, ease up, you weren't THAT bad of a mother!

She was a teenage mom who married a loon because she got pregnant. She resented her son for 'grounding' her during her youth, and avoided some tough choices by being his "pal" rather than his Mom.

Oh yes she also (gasp!) got involved with even weirder men and made a mess of her life while Jason tagged along--Ok, so it won't win he Donna Reed/ Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval, but she wasn't exactly a Kennedy who could afford 3 nannies for Jason. As a matter of fact, she was essentially a kid herself who got very little help from anyone.

Plus there were episodes in which her behavior in defending her son were brave and truly exemplary but she dsmisses them when contrasting them to her acts of selfishness.

In any case, above all, this is a touching story, remarkably free of sentimentality and very, very human.

thanks, Beverly.