How Did I Become My Parent's Parent? (Paperback)

by Harriet Sarnoff Schiff (Author)

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review
Caring for an aging parent poses many concerns: How can an adult child (or chadult, as author Harriet Schiff calls them), protect the dignity and independence of an aging parent? When should a chadult take over the grocery shopping, house cleaning, checkbook, and medical decisions? When is a nursing home the best option? How can parents and chadults prepare for the future before a crisis is reached? Schiff, an accomplished daily news reporter and book author, addresses all these questions and more, using real life anecdotes and her professional experience as the admissions coordinator for 13 nursing homes.

From Publishers Weekly
Schiff (The Bereaved Parent; Living Through Mourning) explores the complex relationship of aging parents and their adult children, to whom she gives the clumsy label "Chadults." Her reports, however, drawn from experiences of working with nursing home residents and their families, are graceful, eloquent and full of warmth, wisdom and practical good sense. Among the issues considered are planning for the future before a crisis precipitates hasty decisions; long-distance care; nursing home choices; finances; and intimate, including homosexual, relationships. Sarnoff shines when she addresses such intangibles as forgiveness, without which the adult child remains a victim, and the usefulness of psychotherapy as a tool for understanding unresolved issues in order to better get along with one's parent. While Sarnoff's copious use of anecdotal information can sometimes be distracting, this is a helpful, hopeful approach to a subject of interest to baby boomer sons and daughters whose parents are now senior citizens.
Copyright 1996 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 224 pages
• Publisher: Penguin (Non-Classics) (May 1, 1997)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0140237143
• ISBN-13: 978-0140237146
• Product Dimensions: 7.6 x 4.9 x 0.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 4.8 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars See all reviews (5 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #1,309,655 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars what doing good for your parent(s) can do for you., October 17, 1998

By A Customer

Convinces the reader faced with "taking care" of an aging parent that it's an opportunity as much as a burden. Book's strength: such a variety of real examples that you understand the need to search for an individual accommodation to your specific situation. Schiff's concept of the child who must now be the adult is good, though the phrase "chadult" seems silly. I have bought the book for both my sisters to help us work out a way to help our 92-year-old father.

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars How DId I Become My Parent's Parent?, April 5, 2000

By	christine a. hinse "attawan" (United States) - See all my reviews

This little book came at a time when I am experiencing my parent's rapid aging and decline, not knowing when to step in and when to let them take responsibility for their own decisions, and experiencing a myriad of feelings in that regard. For a small book of 203 pages, it covers a multitude of scenarios that include options on what to do and what not to do and also the pain and fulfillment that goes along with each decision. It tells how caring for your parents can not only be a burden, but a life strengthener with its own unexpected rewards.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Will Strengthen You!, August 21, 2001

By A Customer

It happens to slowly, and then suddenly the realization hits us that we are acting more like a parent than our parents. But we don't want this role, we go into denial, we just don't want to go there, we run away, it's far too painful. This wonderful book will show you how to face it, learn from it, and give you the strength to get through it with grace. What a gift to be able to see it clearly as a gift to be able to face the challenge and conquer the fear. Real solutions, real understanding. So many of us going though this. Another book you will get strength from is "Elder Rage."