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Better Together
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In his groundbreaking bestseller, Real Boys: Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood, Dr. William Pollack delved into the issues that today's boys face, from violence to the limiting notion that boys don't cry. In his follow-up book, Real Boys' Voices, Pollack, a clinical psychologist and assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, lets readers get close to his source--the boys themselves, ages 10 to 20, from all around the country. The voices he presents are searingly authentic and eager to be heard. Pollack's basic premise is simple: Despite what society might tell us, boys want to talk. Furthermore, they have a lot to say on a wide variety of topics, including gender issues, friendship, sex, fear of violence, and relationships with their mothers and fathers.
The first and longest section of the book, "The Secret Emotional Lives of Boys," is the most powerful. Boys talk about homophobia--their secret terror that they might be called gay--and of the double life many say they lead: strong and brave on the outside, yet full of worries and angst on the inside. With violence all around them, many boys fear becoming violent themselves. They also describe the intense pressure they feel to lose their virginity and the conflicting feelings they have about sex. "Your virginity is what determines whether you're a man or a boy in the eyes of every teenage male," muses one thoughtful boy, who adds, "It is almost inconceivable to think that your virginity, your one and only innocence, could be your worst enemy." Throughout his book, Pollack offers helpful and concrete suggestions for parents to help their boys lead better lives, including tips on how to deal with bullying behavior and how to recognize signs of depression. While this advice is useful, the true power of this book lies in those very real voices. This is a must-read for parents and for anyone who wants insight into the minds of today's boys. --Virginia Smyth
--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
From Publishers Weekly
Drawing on interviews with young men across the country, Harvard clinical psychologist Pollack presents a candid, troubling and occasionally humorous snapshot of contemporary American boyhood in this follow-up and companion to his bestselling Real Boys. Contextualizing young men's comments on their loneliness, depression, fear, anger and frustration, as well as their hopes and joys, within his broader research, Pollack illustrates what he views as the straitjacket of the "Boy Code." This false machismo is perpetuated, he says, by our country's "oppressive boyhood culture," a plague of homophobia and what he calls the "major national crisis" of suicide (which has tripled since 1970 for adolescent boys ages 15-19). Thematic chapters cover such topics as friendship, sex, spirituality and renewal, parents, divorce, sports, violence and more. In one of the most deeply disturbing and moving chapters, Pollack talks to boys in Littleton, Colo., many of them survivors of the Columbine High School massacre. Yet his message is hopeful: the conditions are right, he believes, "to give America's boys complete emotional freedom, to offer them the deep human understanding they desire and so richly deserve." To this end, he outlines a 15-step program for mentoring boys and redefining boyhood, from creating safe, "shame-free" havens where they can open up to those who care about them, to bully-proofing neighborhoods and schools and encouraging creative expression and spiritual connections. Practical and forceful, this is an important contribution to the growing body of commentary on helping boys navigate the rocky road to manhood. Agent, Lane Zachary; 13-city tour. (July)
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.
--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
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