Real Boys' Voices (Paperback)

~ (Author), Todd Shuster (Author), (Contributor) "AS I LISTEN TO BOYS ACROSS AMERICA, I AM STRUCK BY the depth, compassion, and cry of their voices..." (more)
Key Phrases: gender straitjacket, cutting weight, many bullies, New England, Boy Code, New York City (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

In his groundbreaking bestseller, Real Boys: Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood, Dr. William Pollack delved into the issues that today's boys face, from violence to the limiting notion that boys don't cry. In his follow-up book, Real Boys' Voices, Pollack, a clinical psychologist and assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, lets readers get close to his source--the boys themselves, ages 10 to 20, from all around the country. The voices he presents are searingly authentic and eager to be heard. Pollack's basic premise is simple: Despite what society might tell us, boys want to talk. Furthermore, they have a lot to say on a wide variety of topics, including gender issues, friendship, sex, fear of violence, and relationships with their mothers and fathers.

The first and longest section of the book, "The Secret Emotional Lives of Boys," is the most powerful. Boys talk about homophobia--their secret terror that they might be called gay--and of the double life many say they lead: strong and brave on the outside, yet full of worries and angst on the inside. With violence all around them, many boys fear becoming violent themselves. They also describe the intense pressure they feel to lose their virginity and the conflicting feelings they have about sex. "Your virginity is what determines whether you're a man or a boy in the eyes of every teenage male," muses one thoughtful boy, who adds, "It is almost inconceivable to think that your virginity, your one and only innocence, could be your worst enemy." Throughout his book, Pollack offers helpful and concrete suggestions for parents to help their boys lead better lives, including tips on how to deal with bullying behavior and how to recognize signs of depression. While this advice is useful, the true power of this book lies in those very real voices. This is a must-read for parents and for anyone who wants insight into the minds of today's boys. --Virginia Smyth --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

From Publishers Weekly

Drawing on interviews with young men across the country, Harvard clinical psychologist Pollack presents a candid, troubling and occasionally humorous snapshot of contemporary American boyhood in this follow-up and companion to his bestselling Real Boys. Contextualizing young men's comments on their loneliness, depression, fear, anger and frustration, as well as their hopes and joys, within his broader research, Pollack illustrates what he views as the straitjacket of the "Boy Code." This false machismo is perpetuated, he says, by our country's "oppressive boyhood culture," a plague of homophobia and what he calls the "major national crisis" of suicide (which has tripled since 1970 for adolescent boys ages 15-19). Thematic chapters cover such topics as friendship, sex, spirituality and renewal, parents, divorce, sports, violence and more. In one of the most deeply disturbing and moving chapters, Pollack talks to boys in Littleton, Colo., many of them survivors of the Columbine High School massacre. Yet his message is hopeful: the conditions are right, he believes, "to give America's boys complete emotional freedom, to offer them the deep human understanding they desire and so richly deserve." To this end, he outlines a 15-step program for mentoring boys and redefining boyhood, from creating safe, "shame-free" havens where they can open up to those who care about them, to bully-proofing neighborhoods and schools and encouraging creative expression and spiritual connections. Practical and forceful, this is an important contribution to the growing body of commentary on helping boys navigate the rocky road to manhood. Agent, Lane Zachary; 13-city tour. (July)
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 432 pages
• Publisher: Penguin (Non-Classics); 5th edition (May 1, 2001)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0141002948
• ISBN-13: 978-0141002941
• Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.5 x 1.1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (15 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #244,692 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

61 of 61 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars The Males In Your Life Are Owed The Reading Of This Book, June 10, 2000

By	Irvin Goodman - See all my reviews (TOP 500 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)

This review is from: Real Boys' Voices (Hardcover)

A great, brand new 224 page book that is a real eye opener regarding the males in everyone's life. Psychologist Bill Pollack spent much time and effort interviewing boys and young men all across the country to get them to open up about all of the important things in their lives. Topics range from drugs, sex, sports, violence, ambition, school, parents, girls, pressures, addictions, how they see the lives of the men they know, importance of their parents, spirituality, friendships, being gay, coping with divorce and other losses, and death. WOW ! The authors found that the boys were anxious to talk about their experiences, but needed someone to listen to them. The reader will learn the confusions and fears of the boys, and what haunts them at home, school, work, and play. You'll learn how to get the boys to talk. This alone is worth the price of the book and the reading time. The tremendous pressures put on boys is explored. Many boys are crying out to be heard and understood, but the listeners are lacking, and they're afraid to open up. Readers will have a much better understanding of ALL of their male relatives, contacts and associates (not just young boys). Well worth reading. It can help you understand what goes on in the minds of all of the men around you, and improve your relationships with them.

49 of 50 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars My Life in Book Form, June 11, 2000

By A Customer

This review is from: Real Boys' Voices (Hardcover)

This book touched me in a way I never thought a book could. As a 15 year-old unathletic boy, I thought that I was alone in feeling the things I felt (and feel). Yesterday I found this book by accident, and I could not put it down. I read the entire thing last night, and I cried. In this country, boys and men are not supposed to show any kind of emotion, talk about their feelings, least of all cry. This is a serious problem that is leading to the stereotype that men are incapable of talking and are emotionless. This is NOT true. This pressure to bottle up our emotions drives us to suicide, drug abuse, drinking, and homocide. This pressure is killing us. And, finally, someone has had the courage to go around the country, listening, in an effort to defeat this horrible stereotype, which he calls the "Boy Code." Dr. Pollack, I commend you, and I urge you to keep fighting for us; we really need help.

36 of 36 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Testimonies to augment theories, February 2, 2004

By	Paul C. Edgerton (Wilson, NC United States) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This is a jarring and eye-opening collection of voices often unheard in our culture. It is highly recommended that this book NOT be read until one has looked at his first REAL BOYS offering. The first work povides the theorectcal context within which these testimonies are most powerful. This is valuable reading not only for counselors and parents, but for pastors, teachers, and all who work with or care about boys and their lives.