How to Behave So Your Preschooler Will, Too! (Paperback)

~ (Author) "I remember an occasion when our daughter Alyssa was four..." (more)
Key Phrases: priority misbehavior, pleasant family climate, teach your preschooler (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

If certain movies can earn "two hanky" ratings for their ability to induce tears, Sal Severe's How to Behave So Your Preschooler Will, Too easily deserves a "two highlighter" rating for its bountiful collection of noteworthy parenting strategies. From the hilarious opening anecdote about his 4-year-old's verbal attack on a waiter to his reassuring final chapter ("From Cookies to Car Keys"), Severe's candor, practical advice, and savvy long-term vision offer quick relief for overwhelmed parents of 3- to 6-year-olds. The moral of this school psychologist's story: Language counts; use it wisely. Yelling, spanking, and knee-jerk time-outs do little to correct misconduct, and may promote more misbehavior. Instead, Severe champions positive, age-appropriate phrases to curb the whining, parry the potty words, and morph fights into sharing sessions. He shows how to formulate meaningful consequences for little rule breakers and how to wield the parents' ultimate "better behavior" tool: consistency. Literally hundreds of clever catch phrases (void of the word don't), sample dialogues, anger-management techniques, written exercises, and tips on tweaking inadequate corrective measures flow throughout Severe's 25 standalone chapters. An ample book list that offers suggested parent/child reading on dozens of topics nicely caps off this exemplary guide. --Liane Emory Thomas --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

From Publishers Weekly

Severe, author of the bestselling How to Behave so Your Children Will, Too!, focuses on children ages three to six. Parents know all too well that toddlers can be particularly difficult. Sometimes their inability to speak makes it hard to figure out what they want; other children have demanding temperaments and still other kids haven't been taught the "right" behavior for a particular situation. In a calm and soothing manner, Severe offers coping strategies for parents with the most common dilemmas, including tantrums, toilet training, sibling rivalry and more. The author discusses the circumstances, offers specific suggestions for parents and provides a summary chart of what not to do and how kids can get the wrong message by following their parents. For example, when a parent watches TV several hours a day, children learn that they can do the same, or when a parent yells obscenities at a driver who takes a parking spot, the child learns that he or she can also be verbally offensive. Parents can counteract their own bad behavior, counsels Severe, by apologizing for using bad language or taking responsibility for being angry and trying to be polite. The book is particularly helpful for first-time parents, who will find Severe's step-by-step prescriptions what to do when a toddler has a tantrum or how to handle time-outs invaluable.
Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 320 pages
• Publisher: Penguin (Non-Classics) (June 1, 2004)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0142004588
• ISBN-13: 978-0142004586
• Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.3 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (14 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #125,436 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

47 of 48 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Opened my eyes to what I needed to change, March 7, 2004

By A Customer

This review is from: How to Behave So Your Preschooler Will, Too! (Hardcover)

I was resorting to yelling louder, criticising more frequently, and searching for stricter punishments...trying rather desperately to get my 4 and 7 year old sons to behave better. It simply wasn't working. I asked myself one day...when I was still half sane...Why in the world was I continuing to do what isn't working? And, I was intrigued by this title that implied I had to change first...so I bought the book. With the help of Severe's advice, I finally realized that I was going to have to change my approach in the manner I was chosing to speak to my children, before they were going to change their behavior. This book along with another practical book called "The Pocket Parent" helped us get more cooperation from our kids as well as change the entire atmosphere of our home...now much less yelling defiance and negative "attitude". Both books suggest the exact words to try in challenging situations that a normal preschooler often presents his parents with. I also appreciate that the authors of both books include funny personal annecdotes about their own children to illustrate the stategies. So you never feel you are being talked down to by an expert with an assortment of "holier than thou" do's and dont's. I find it comforting that these authors (moms and a dad) have been angered, frustrated and embarrassed by their own children, too. Both of these books are set up for busy parents to read just a particular section of the book as they need it. Each chapter stands alone and neither book has to be read cover to cover in any order. I really appreciate that feature. I found the material in Severe's book very reader friendly, with a pleasant tone and easy to understand information. His book is divided into topics in 3 main sections that explain Developmental Factors, Better Behavior Principles and How to Apply the Behavior Principles. "The Pocket Parent" is set up differently as an A-Z compendium of about 40 behaviors such as Anger, Bad Words, Biting, Bedtime, Mealtime, Morning Crazies, Lying, Sibling Rivalry, Separation Anxiety and Whining. I do like the format of "The Pocket Parent" better. However, I like the advice in both books equally. The books are very compatible and are chock full of comassion, humor and hundreds of ideas to try with preschoolers. Severe's book says it is for 3-6 year olds and "The Pocket Parent" is for 2-5 year olds. I think the suggestions in both books work on children 2-10 and even older. I highly recommend both of these guidebooks to keep handy for easy reference and support on one of those really bad days with the kids when you could really use a verbal hug and a couple of practical specific suggestions.

36 of 36 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Great Discipline Guide for the Little Guys, October 4, 2004

By	Cathytg "cathytg" (California) - See all my reviews

This review is from: How to Behave So Your Preschooler Will, Too! (Hardcover)

So many discipline and child-rearing books fall into one of two camps: either squishy "Don't say no! Never thwart the little darlings!" guides to ineffective parenting (I found the Positive Discipline series to exemplify this -- yeah, I'll have a "family discussion" with my preschooler so she can come up with ideas on how to go to bed on time) or "children are your enemies and if you don't stomp them hard they'll grow up to be serial killers" reactionary tomes (John Rosemond is one of the MILDER advocates of this school). "How to Behave," on the other hand, is just right -- neither too hard nor too soft. Severe (love that name!) acknowledges that children sometimes need to be punished so that they can learn the boundaries of acceptable behavior; but he's eager to help you become your child's ally and tutor in learning right from wrong, not a fierce taskmaster or bully.

This book is packed with useful and specific advice -- what techniques work well for very young children, how to make offering choices work for your child, how to use time-out (and how not to), and on and on. Severe is especially good at explicating WHY small children do those exasperating things, and in drawing the line between mischief and misbehavior. There's nothing here that sounds unworkable or silly, and nothing that seems cruel, unlike some childrearing books. The writing is not terribly exciting, but competent and sensible, and the book is short, sweet, and well-indexed, so you can find the advice you need. Most of it should be more or less common sense, but when you're at the end of your resources Severe is there to help.

51 of 56 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars DIsciplining your Preschooler, October 6, 2003

By	S. Y. Newton (Lewisburg, PA USA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This review is from: How to Behave So Your Preschooler Will, Too! (Hardcover)

'Discipline without Shouting or Spanking', 'How to Behave So Your Preschooler Will, too!' and 'Positive Discipline for Preschoolers' are three different books with almost identical messages. All believe that shouting and spanking are counterproductive and that successful discipline requires a parent or caregiver to calmly teach and reinforce the rules of good behavior.
'How to Behave So Your Preschooler Will, too!' and 'Positive Discipline for Preschoolers' are both 300 plus page books and are arranged similarly. They begin by explaining what is typical preschooler behavior and what developmental factors are at play during this stage. This information encourages parents to make a paradigm shift and see "bad" behavior as developmentally appropriate behavior that needs the gentle hand of an adult to help channel it. They then follow with in depth discussions of good discipline strategies and how they differ from our natural knee-jerk responses. Both books end with practical examples of how to apply these discipline strategies to common behavioral problems.

I would recommend either of these books to anyone who has come to see that shouting and spanking doesn't work and wants to learn what does. 'How to Behave so Your Preschooler Will, too! is written in an organized, succinct, clean style and will appeal to those who enjoy a "textbook-like" book. 'Positive Discipline for Preschoolers', on the other hand, has a more friendly, meandering tone and is written in a "chatting over a cup of coffee" style with tons of first hand accounts thrown in.

"Discipline without Shouting or Spanking' is half the size of the previous two books and confines itself to practical applications. An outline format is used to discuss 37 common behavior problems. For each behavior problem it offers several suggestions to prevent the problem, solve the problem and even what not to do. Each discussion ends with an illustrative story. I would recommend this book to those already convinced that "positive discipline" works and looking for an easy to read, "in the trenches" handbook.

All three books are excellent resources for the parents and caregivers of preschoolers but as their content is so similar. I'd strongly urge a potential buyer to take advantage of Amazon's Look Inside! feature and purchase the one whose format and writing style most suits your literary taste.