The Four Loves (Paperback)

by C.S. Lewis (Author) "God is love,"" says St. John..." (more)
Key Phrases: Love Himself, Our Lord, Dark Gods (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review
The Four Loves summarizes four kinds of human love--affection, friendship, erotic love, and the love of God. Masterful without being magisterial, this book's wise, gentle, candid reflections on the virtues and dangers of love draw on sources from Jane Austen to St. Augustine. The chapter on charity (love of God) may be the best thing Lewis ever wrote about Christianity. Consider his reflection on Augustine's teaching that one must love only God, because only God is eternal, and all earthly love will someday pass away:

Who could conceivably begin to love God on such a prudential ground--because the security (so to speak) is better? Who could even include it among the grounds for loving? Would you choose a wife or a Friend--if it comes to that, would you choose a dog--in this spirit? One must be outside the world of love, of all loves, before one thus calculates.

His description of Christianity here is no less forceful and opinionated than in Mere Christianity or The Problem of Pain, but it is far less anxious about its reader's response--and therefore more persuasive than any of his apologetics. When he begins to describe the nature of faith, Lewis writes: "Take it as one man's reverie, almost one man's myth. If anything in it is useful to you, use it; if anything is not, never give it a second thought." --Michael Joseph Gross

Review
The Four Loves summarizes four kinds of human love--affection, friendship, erotic love, and the love of God. Masterful without being magisterial, this book's wise, gentle, candid reflections on the virtues and dangers of love draw on sources from Jane Austen to St. Augustine. The chapter on charity (love of God) may be the best thing Lewis ever wrote about Christianity. Consider his reflection on Augustine's teaching that one must love only God, because only God is eternal, and all earthly love will someday pass away: Who could conceivably begin to love God on such a prudential ground--because the security (so to speak) is better? Who could even include it among the grounds for loving? Would you choose a wife or a Friend--if it comes to that, would you choose a dog--in this spirit? One must be outside the world of love, of all loves, before one thus calculates. His description of Christianity here is no less forceful and opinionated than in Mere Christianity or The Problem of Pain, but it is far less anxious about its reader's response--and therefore more persuasive than any of his apologetics. When he begins to describe the nature of faith, Lewis writes: "Take it as one man's reverie, almost one man's myth. If anything in it is useful to you, use it; if anything is not, never give it a second thought." (Amazon.com Review - Michael Joseph Gross )

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Product Details

• Paperback: 156 pages
• Publisher: Harvest Books (September 29, 1971)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0156329301
• ISBN-13: 978-0156329309
• Product Dimensions: 7.8 x 5.3 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 5.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars See all reviews (79 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #9,249 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

164 of 166 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars a prism and a map..., October 29, 2002

By	NotATameLion (Michigan) - See all my reviews (TOP 500 REVIEWER)

C.S. Lewis' The Four Loves was not a book that I expected to reshape my thinking. I first picked it up while following the reading guide at the end of Lindskoog's Mere Christian. I thought it would be a fun read during valentine's season. One often is most vulnerable to the trap when one is not alert...

And so, once more, C.S. Lewis has changed my thought on a broad portion of life. He's done it to me before--the Narnian Books, Mere Christianity, An Experiment In Criticism--have all been books that have greatly shaped me. Now I can add the Four Loves to the list.

One does not often sit down and ponder the different kinds of love. One may have generalized "loved ones" such as family and friends, we may "love" certain activities or places, we may even say we are "in love" ... but do we stop to consider our words?

Lewis spends time surveying the lay of love's different lands. Building on blocks of seemingly deepening emotion, he moves from looking at affection to friendship to erotic love (Eros) to the love of God (Agape). Each is looked at in detail, their meaning and impact on life is explored.

The most helpful thing about this book is that Lewis allows the reader to think about how they deal with their own loves in life. Does one stress a certain kind of love in an unhealthy way? Do we ignore the possibilities of one love because another kind holds too much sway in our lives?

I believe Lewis makes the case that God's love should be primary in the lives of humans. The other loves, though they can be wonderful in their place, can be used unnaturally and ineffectively to try and fill in for Agape if it is not felt. A healthy life will involve all four loves. Yet they must be rooted and grounded in Agape.

My own favorite passage in this book is in the friendship section. Dispelling the myth that an intense friendship between two people is always the best, Lewis notes that after his friend Charles (Williams) died, his friendship with J.R.R. Tolkien was something less than it was when Charles was still around--he could no longer appreciate Tolkien through the eyes of Williams. The passage is personal, poignant, and true to my own experience.

The Four Loves is a remarkable book. I give it my full recommendation.

84 of 89 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Highly recommended, June 1, 2001

By	Michael J. Wood "Flight Surgeon" (Tucson, AZ) - See all my reviews

I own nearly 1000 books, of which a few I have multiple copies of: The Bible, Sun Tzu's The Art of War, The Prince. This book I have only one copy of, but have bought at least 5 that I can recall off-hand. That's because I loan it out, and it rarely gets returned (folks always return the Bibles, for some reason...). Anyone concerned with the nature and types of love should read this book. C.S. Lewis compares and contrasts love of God, Family, Lovers, and Friends in a way that makes good sense, is easy to understand, and is practical in real life. Should be required reading for anyone that has just started a relationship of any kind, or just ended a relationship for any reason.

38 of 39 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Different Approach to Relationships, August 7, 2006

By	Zack Reynolds (Loveland, Colorado) - See all my reviews

I used to think that if I just found the "perfect" way to do relationships, I would never get hurt or have my heart broken.

Lewis counters that kind of thinking. Love is vulnerable, and you will get hurt, he says, and the only place you can fully escape from the "dangers and perturbations" of love is in Hell.

This book helped me, and I hope it will help you, to break free from the mindset of seeking to avoid hurt in relationships, and replace it with a desire to truly love other people.

We can never entirely avoid hurt or pain in relationships, but if we approach relationships with the mindset of avoiding pain, we will never experience the joy of true love.

This book's scope is not limited to one kind of relationship. It is the "Four Loves," after all. Four kinds of love...affection, friendship, eros, and charity.

Lewis truly goes through the whole gamut of love. He covers what he calls the "likings and loves for the sub-human" (like a pet), simple affection for other people and family, the love that friends share, romantic love, and then God's love--the fullest expression of love.

I think perhaps this is one of the best books on love and relationships (for the two are inexplicably bound up in each other) that I have ever read. I don't think you will be able to read this book without being changed.