An Incomplete and Inaccurate History of Sport: . . . and Other Random Thoughts from Childhood to Fatherhood (Hardcover)

by Kenny Mayne (Author)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly
Mayne, known for his sarcasm on ESPN's SportsCenter, submits in his debut a tongue-in-cheek sports encyclopedia, featuring such entries as rock throwing and Wiffle ball, along with facts mixed with dubious statements. For example, dodgeball ends when the PE teacher gets back from hitting on one of the substitutes and tackle football is the greatest sport in the world and everyone knows it. Stories from Mayne's life as a sports-loving kid in Washington State, a quarterback and father to two little girls round out the book. On TV, Mayne might be entertaining; as an author, he is overbearing, often trying to get more play out of a single joke than it can bear. Other comedic observations, such as security lines at airports and the perils of getting the right order at Starbucks, read like stale standup routines. The book's best parts feature Mayne straying from his funnyman persona to reflect on his personal life. Glimpses of the man behind the mockery are far too infrequent within Mayne's relentless, tiresome attempts at generating laughs. (Apr.)
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Product Description
Painstakingly faithful to its title, Kenny Mayne’s book is neither complete nor is it particularly accurate. Ostensibly an A-to-Z encyclopedia of all known sports, many sports are never mentioned. There’s not a word about rugby, volleyball, Roller Derby, swimming, or (shockingly) Basque pelota or shinty. There is a chapter about sliding, but none about skiing. Competitive eating and rhythmic gymnastics will have to wait for another book. However, there are roughly eight chapters about tackle football–“the greatest sport in the world, and everyone knows it”–and a good four or five about horse racing, so quit complaining before you’ve even read the book. There will be plenty of time for complaining after you’ve finished it (about an hour from now–tops).

Those sports that are covered in the book are examined with exhaustive inattention to unretained detail. Many chapters have nothing to do with sport. For instance, the chapter on hunting is about hunting for a hassle-free triple tall Americano light on the water.

So, then, what exactly is this book-like thing you hold in your hands? Part nostalgic memoir (like the summer Mark Sansaver hit 843 home runs in backyard Wiffle ball), part Dave Barry—esque riffs (like explaining bocce to non-Italians), part scholarly tract (includes the origins of tackle football), and part metafiction (see “Time-outs”). . . all with illustrations drawn by Kenny’s daughters, it is what Kenny calls his anti coffee-table book, or Coaster. The publisher calls it $24.95. Reviewers like Michiko Kakutani may call it “insipid,” but because Kenny has included a revolutionary “backwords” following the book’s foreword, she’ll have to call it an “insipid breakthrough” of a book.

So what is this book-like thing? Like the great mysteries in life, you’ll have to decide for yourself.


*That would include a thought I just had. This thought had something to do with Wiffle ball. What a great chapter. But that’s not to say the chapter on hunting is terrible even though it’s mostly about coffee. Plus I wrote stuff about my children. There’s even a chapter on jai alai. This book has both still photographs and still illustrations. It doesn’t have any moving pictures. That would have required the inclusion of a projector and a big white screen in the book, and I’m trying to take a stand on energy conservation. Strangely enough, Ken Griffey Jr. asked me if the book would have video. This will make sense when you read the chapter on him.

I wish I'd written about the Seattle Pilots. I used to go to their games when I was nine. My favorite player was Tommy Harper.  But this isn't just a sports book. It covers all sorts of things. I hope they place it in the Miscellaneous section. That should draw a lot of attention.  I was told that the presence of a sub-title would sell more books. How am I doing with you? Make sure to tell people about this alluring and informative sub-title. This sub-title is longer than some of my chapters.

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 256 pages
• Publisher: Crown; 1 edition (April 22, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0307396150
• ISBN-13: 978-0307396150
• Product Dimensions: 9.2 x 6.1 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 15.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.6 out of 5 stars See all reviews (11 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #282,992 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

6 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Fabulous Sports Book, May 15, 2008

By	Craig D. Best Jr. "BestMan" (KCMO) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This book was a great read. With Kenny Mayne's quirky sense of humor, splashes of childhood stories, drawing by his daughters, and touching moments through his life, I couldn't put the thing down. Seriously it took me like 3 or 4 days to finish the book. The chapter about his Dancing with the Stars appearance was one of my favorites.

if you are a fan of his Mayne Event segments on ESPN you will love this book

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Amusing, but got a little tired by the end, May 26, 2008

By	Scott K. Goldner (Thousand Oaks, CA USA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

Overall, Kenny Mayne cracks me up. I love his Dance Center segments on ABC's Dancing With The Stars. I've long enjoyed him on SportsCenter as well.

I expected more of the same stuff in this book, and that's exactly what I got. Even though it's supposed to be an incomplete and inaccurate history of sport, I honestly expected a little more about the sports themselves. Instead Kenny seems to segue a lot into childhood memories.

While I wanted more of his quirky take on sports, I found myself really enjoying the look back to childhood. His talking about wiffle ball, and it being the second greatest sport of all time really made me laugh because it sparked memories of my own. While I can't claim to have hit 843 home runs in a single summer, I laughed and reminisced about my own childhood while reading through his.

There were chapters in there that seemed a little like filler and nothing more, and frankly, I wouldn't have minded more about the relation to sports growing up.

Overall though, it was a quick, fun read. I was done with it in a day. If you like Kenny Mayne's sense of humor, you'll enjoy the book.

1.0 out of 5 stars Really Misguided and just plain bad., June 15, 2009

By	Jonathan B. Pulcini (Lexington, KY) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

I picked this up on audio book loan from Cracker Barrel. For the first time in ten years, I returned it early.

Kenny Mayne seems like a nice guy with some flashes of real writing talent. Sadly this book is misguided and weird stream of consciousness that doesn't work out. His jokes fall flat and his wordsmithing is third-rate. His style is that of a poorly imitated Dave Barry. He is at his worst when he's making stuff up.

He is excellent when he tells stories of things that actually happened. Kenny should write a memoir. Until then save your time and money and avoid this half-baked, ill-concieved effort.