Boundaries in Dating (Paperback)

by Henry Cloud (Author), John Townsend (Author) "So what do I do, set a bomb underneath his chair?..." (more)
Key Phrases: detention hall, safe people, appropriate physical limits, Take-Away Tips, Take God, Set Appropriate Physical Limits (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Product Description
Boundaries in Dating provides a way to think, solve problems, and enjoy the benefits of dating in the fullest way, including increasing the ability to find and commit to a marriage partner.

From the Publisher
Dating can be fun, but it's not easy. Meeting people is just one concern. Once you've met someone, then what? What do you build? Nothing, a simple friendship, or more? How do you set smart limits on physical involvement? Financial involvement? Individual responsibilities? Respected counselors, popular radio hosts, and best-selling authors Henry Cloud and John Townsend apply the principles described in their Gold Medallion Award-winning Boundaries to matters of love and romance. Helping readers bridge the pitfalls of dating, Boundaries in Dating unfolds a wise, biblical path to developing self-control, freedom, and intimacy in the dating process. Boundaries in Dating helps singles to think, solve problems, and enjoy the benefits of dating to the hilt, increasing their abilities to find and commit to a marriage partner. Liberally illustrated with insightful, true-life examples, this much-needed book includes such topics as: Sins You Can Live With--Recognizing and choosing quality over perfection in a dating partner - Don't Fall in Love with Someone You Wouldn't Be Friends With--How to ensure that honest friendship is one vital component in a relationship - Don't Screw Up a Friendship Out of Loneliness--Preserving friendships by separating between platonic relationships and romantic interest - Kiss False Hope Good-Bye--Moving past denial to deal with real relational problems in a realistic and hopeful way . . . and much more.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 288 pages
• Publisher: Zondervan (March 1, 2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0310200342
• ISBN-13: 978-0310200345
• Product Dimensions: 7.9 x 5.3 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 7.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars See all reviews (52 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #1,891 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

  Popular in these categories: (What's this?)

  #1 in	Books > Religion & Spirituality > Christianity > Christian Living > Relationships > Dating & Single Life
  #2 in	Books > Religion & Spirituality > Authors, A-Z > ( T ) > Townsend, John
  #3 in	Books > Religion & Spirituality > Authors, A-Z > ( C ) > Cloud, Henry

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

19 of 21 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Great book, June 28, 2009

By	M. Swayne - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

I really enjoyed this book a lot. It really points out the pitfalls that come with dating and didn't do it in a judgmental way. When you're single and looking to meet someone, dating is inevitable and this book really helps. Another really great book I read on this subject is Dating Sense: The Practical Way to Meet, Date and Marry the Right Person. While it's not religious in nature, it takes a very realistic and mature approach to dating.

32 of 38 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Thank You Drs. Cloud and Townsend, May 14, 2002

By	Marie Browder (Kansas) - See all my reviews

My Christian teenage daugher has many Christain friends who have bought TOTALLY into the book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Josh Harris. One of them gave the book to her in order (I think) to set her straight. She is a very bright, fun, thoughtful young lady who has dated and had some very good experiences with it and also rough experiences. She and I both read the book and discussed it together. It left her very distressed. She was made to feel like dating was a sin and yet, she couldn't really understand (Biblically) why. I, too, was very bothered by the legalistic approach of that book.

I went in search of a resource to clarify things for both my daughter and myself. I found this book and read it first before giving it to my daughter (no need to set her up for more confusion!) This book gives a wonderful and clear outline on the purposes and values of dating. It is biblically-based and sound in its information. My daughter is about halfway through reading it and as we discuss it, she is constantly saying, "now this makes sense". I especially appreciate the empasis placed on the issue of maturity in dating and how God can use dating (if done within His boundaries) to grow her into a mature Christian woman who will have the ability to make a wise decision when the time comes for her to marry.

She plans to share this book with all of her friends!

18 of 20 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Great advice for safe dating/courting/friendships, April 10, 2007

By	S. Catherall "dachsie lover" (Marion, IA United States) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This book was life changing. Coming out of an abusive situation which led to a divorce, I knew I needed help if I were ever to marry again! I figured that it was best to figure out why the abuse happened, as well as what I had done wrong in my choice of mate. This book was SO insightful that I wish it had been in print before my first marriage.

As it happens, I got into a dating relationship much sooner than I had expected. I had figured that I needed at LEAST 2 years to regroup before even planning to begin dating again. "Fate" had other plans. I got into a very bizarre and abusive dating relationship with a man who was unlike anyone I had ever known in that he manipulated me, lied, and had the gall to accuse me of trying to control him! Soon I began to feel those awful, trapped feelings from before.

I kept trying to step back and just slow things down (since he wanted to date me AND someone else at the same time and I happen to think one should be patient enough to date only one person at a time for the sake of other people's feelings). Part of the reason it felt so exhausting was the way he would talk about really wanting to marry me and then in the next breath tell me about a date he planned with the other gal he was just starting to see. When I challenged him about the hypocrisy and cruelty of playing with my feelings, he would accuse me of being controlling. When I tried to just be "coffee friends" until he decided how he felt about the other gal, he would accuse me of being controlling and not wanting the best for his son and himself. God had to finally wrest him away from me by having him dump me without telling me and then find out in a month or so that he was planning to marry yet a different gal in 4 months. Praise God for His mercy AND for THIS BOOK!

After the fact I read this book and it was like a bolt of lightning sending me back to reality. NO, it hadn't been wrong for me to tell him how I only felt comfortable dating one person at a time and only dating people who felt the same way. YES, I had been right to be bothered by the "little" lies he told me about his whereabouts. And YES, I was really wrong to have felt so desperate that I was so unattractive and getting old so fast (at 44--LOL) that I was not taking the time to think things through and to insist on an equal footing in our relationship.

I have given a copy of this book to several people, including to my own handsome but single sons:) One of them only barely escaped from a very controlling girl when she began to press him to change his college plans and get married a year early, before graduating from college and before having a very clear idea of what first job he wanted to pursue! He feels SO free having applied the principles of this book.

My story has a happy ending in that several months after the end of that nutty relationship I met a very honest, polite, considerate, generous, kind, affectionate, hard working man who just adores me:) It was a whirlwind romance, but the RIGHT kind. We are coming up on our 4th wedding anniversary and the 5th anniversary of our first email and first date. God is good and this book is the kind of great advice one would hope to get from BOTH one's mother and father (if one were smart enough to LISTEN to them--LOL).

I recommend this as essential, insightful reading for guys and gals from age 12 to age 100! If you follow these guidelines I can almost guarentee that you will NEVER get yourself into another abusive relationship. Just make sure that YOU are the same kind of person that the book discusses so that you may bless your date as well as he/she may bless you! Happy dating:)

This is ALSO a great book for picking out your friends! These authors have written several other great books such as Changes That Heal, Boundaries, Boundaries in Marriage, Boundaries With Children, and a book which I think is called 12 Things That Can Drive You Crazy. God bless you!