Surviving a Spiritual Mismatch in Marriage (Paperback)

by Lee Strobel (Author), Leslie Strobel (Author) "THE WEATHER WAS CRISP AND CLEAR ON THE DAY AFTER CHRISTMAS 1966 when my friend Pete and I took the train from our suburban homes..." (more)
Key Phrases: spiritual mismatch, spiritually mismatched marriage, unequally yoked relationship, Holy Spirit, Grand Rapids, Bill Hybels (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal
High school sweethearts whose marriage seemed to have been made in heaven, the Strobels enjoyed a good life with two children and experienced few problems until Leslie became a committed Christian, much to the dismay of her husband, a confirmed atheist. The Strobels struggled along in this "spiritually mismatched" state for quite a while until Lee made the conscious decision to become a Christian as well. The Strobels do not advise couples who strongly disagree about religion to marry, but their book offers useful advice to couples who are spiritually mismatched, either from the beginning of their relationship or through a change in belief. Ideas about raising children and advice for single Christians are also included. Written in the first person, usually by Lee, the text is readable and helpful. While not a substitute for professional marriage counseling, the Strobels' suggestions are based on years of practical experience and will be useful for a Christian audience. Recommended for church libraries and for public libraries serving a sizable Christian population. Mary Prokop, Savannah Country Day Preparatory Sch. Lib., GA
Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

Product Description
Noted Christian communicator Lee Strobel and his wife team together to write a book about how to live with your unchurched spouse while living out your faith authentically in front of him or her.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 272 pages
• Publisher: Zondervan (April 1, 2002)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0310220149
• ISBN-13: 978-0310220145
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.5 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars See all reviews (13 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #42,552 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

75 of 77 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Much-needed help for "unequally yoked" couples!, March 30, 2002

By A Customer

I've been looking for a book like this for years! As a Christian married to a spiritual skeptic, I've wrestled with all sorts of emotions, pain, and difficulties. Finally, a couple who has actually lived in an "unequally yoked" marriage has written a biblical, practical guidebook for how to deal with the inevitable conflicts that arise in such relationships. This book has it all -- how to get through the arguments and disagreements; how to raise children in a spiritually confusing environment; how to talk to your spouse about God; how to pray for your partner (the book includes a 30-day prayer guide); and so on. It also features chapters on whether Christians should even date non-Christians; what to do if you and your spouse are both Christians but one is less spiritually mature than the other; and how to handle the situation if your spouse is a member of another religion.

I thought the advice was sensitively presented, biblically sound, and resoundingly practical. The authors, Lee and Leslie Stroebel, draw on their own experience of having been married during a time when Leslie was a Christian and Lee was an atheist. While my spouse isn't an atheist, the counsel they offer was totally relevant and useful.

Let me add one other thing. I've been trying at my church to start a group of people who are married to non-Christians, but I've been stymied as far as what resource to use as a curriculum. This book includes a wonderful "application guide" that's a roadmap for a group like this. Now those of us who find ourselves "unequally yoked" can get together and encourage each other while learning together how to survive our mismatched situations.

If you're a Christian but your husband or wife isn't, you MUST have this book. If you know someone who's in that situation, please let them know that this resource can help them in a hundred different ways. And if you're the leader of a church, either a senior pastor or women's ministry director, check out this book and consider starting groups to minister to the Christians in your congregation who are wrestling with the difficulties presented by a spiritual mismatch.

21 of 23 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars They wrote part of this book from my living room!!!!!, July 6, 2002

By A Customer

The first several chapters must have been written from my living room! Leslie's account of the emotions and struggles of a new Christian married to a non-christian, and Lee's own accounts of his confusion and struggles has helped me understand what is going on in my own situation.

I would recommend this book for either person in a spiritually mismatched relationship. This is also a good book for anyone who knows such a couple or is involved in ministry.

16 of 17 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Must have if Married to a Non-Christian, May 19, 2005

By	Brian Albert (New York, NY United States) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

Leslie and Lee do an outstanding job of comforting, encouraging, motivating, and giving sound Biblical advice to those in an "unequally yoked" marriage. Chapter after chapter gives essential advice and encouragement from a couple who have gone through it themselves and have come out of the experience all the stronger for it. The one piece of advice that helped me more than anything was to give up my guilt and responsibility for my part in my wife's unbelief. Her salvation is between God and her, they say, so love her unconditionally and stop feeling responsible. Chapter after chapter contains great advice for changing your own attitudes, developing an attractive faith, standing firm when necessary, avoiding arguments when unnecessary, providing spiritual input for your children, etc, etc. The Christian spouse is constantly motivated to give up his/her gloominess and thrive in the situation, with God's help living out an authentic faith and a sacrificial love that very well could win over the unbelieving spouse. You would do well to read this book slowly and prayerfully, then make a list of all the suggestions you can try in your marriage.

Of course, none of these things are the solution to the problem. After all, only God can bring someone to faith in Christ and create peace in a home. And as Lee and Leslie state many times, there is no guarantee that it will happen. My wife still doesn't have an active faith, but is now much less resistant to mine ever since I started serious prayer for her and have put some of these suggestions into effect.

Some minor quibbles: 1) Prayer should be emphasized more. There is a chapter on it, but considering how essential it is, there probably should have been more. 2) Although the book is written for both men and women and often uses the term "spouse", everywhere else (including the picture on the front and back covers and every page in between) it assumes that the husband is the unbeliever. I suppose that now I know how women feel when a book constantly says he instead of he/she. 3) Relevant verses that are directed to husbands (Eph 5:25, Col 3:19, etc) aren't discussed, whereas verses directed at women are. Don't let this stop you from getting this book - you'll need it.