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179 of 203 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Liar, Liar now I know!, November 18, 2001
This review is from: Never Be Lied to Again: How to Get the Truth In 5 Minutes Or Less In Any Conversation Or Situation (Paperback)
Another great book from the author that I have come to consider one of the most enlightened professionals in the field of human behavior. Dr. David J. Lieberman, Ph.D. has written several books that have been translated into several languages and are consistently best sellers because he truly understands the psychological principles that affect us. Yet he has an easy writing style that is easy to follow and easy to understand. This is a stellar book for those wishing to understand deception and how to uncover the truth. Like all books of this type it provides a wealth of information but you have to apply this information. I decided to try practicing by using some of the techniques on the television game show "To tell the truth". While this is not the best situation because the camera often leaves the contestants and it would be better to be able to view them all at all times, it is still a good place to practice. Did it work? Well, at the beginning I was getting the right person about one third of the time. A week later I was finding out who was lying ninety percent of the time! Now that is an excellent improvement! Okay, detecting when you are being lied to is one thing. Finding out the truth can be another. Dr. Lieberman has received some criticism for this section of the book. It seems that many people have problems with some of the techniques. That is not to say that they are ineffective, they work well. Some people have problems with such things as "leading questions" or feel that you are being deceptive when you ask an open-ended question. What parent has not enjoyed the surprises that come forth after telling their child "I know what you did and it will go easier on you if you just confess now". Of course the child is wondering what thing that the parent knows about because they want to confess to the thing they know about and get a lesser punishment. But they don't want to confess to things the parent doesn't know about. To have a problem with doing the same thing puts one in the position of having to defend the idea that something that is wrong to do with adults is okay with children because they are somehow less deserving of respect. Or, perhaps, an adult who is lying to you is more deserving of respect than a child who is being honest with you. Not a position that I would want to be in. Well, if you still have a problem with some of the techniques of getting to the truth then you can just try confronting them with the lies that you have uncovered. Remember that I successfully moved my ability to detect lies from one third to ninety percent just by using the information and not interacting with the person on the television at all. All I had to do was watch them and listen to what they said. I thought that it was great that he also included a chapter on being our own worst enemy... when we lie to ourselves. In summary, it is a highly recommended book and very useful. It details why you should suspect lying in various circumstances and how to confirm those suspicions. Is it effective? Yes. However, if you are dealing with a problem of a friend, co-worker or someone else that you have to deal with on a regular basis lying to you then I would recommend a couple of additional books to help you confront them diplomatically and maintain the relationship. One would be "Words that Hurt, Words that Heal" and the other would be "Get Anyone to Do Anything".
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