Hand-Me-Down Blues: How To Stop Depression From Spreading In Families (Paperback)

~ Ph.D. Michael D. Yapko (Author) "When Jimmy's teacher called for another parent-teacher conference, Mary was more than a little annoyed..." (more)
Key Phrases: learning depression, depression sufferers, depression gene, Hand-Ale-Down Blues, Little League, Parts of the Puzzle (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Most of us have heard about the way depression can run in families, and of theories proposing a genetic predisposition to the disease. But those theories present only one side of depression--what about the behaviors and coping skills learned in families where depression is an issue? How do we identify those subtle patterns and improve our lives without resorting to "wonder drugs"? In Hand-Me-Down Blues, Dr. Michael Yapko offers help in plain and simple language. Each chapter has plenty of summarized bullet points and practical suggestions that turn a complicated topic into one easily digested by busy parents. Yapko is careful to avoid blame, adapting a "we're all in this together" attitude, and analyzes numerous life stories to demonstrate his points. In the chapter "Marriage and Depression", he relates several stories of couples dealing with depression-related problems. While clearly demonstrating how poor communication can destroy good feelings, he also shouts, "Feelings can lie"--a surprising concept in light of other authors' "feelings are facts" statements. Positive action is emphasized in every chapter--and the analytical tools to decide which action needs to be taken are provided along the way. Determining the differences between shared and individual responsibility, tolerating ambiguity while establishing healthy boundaries, and displaying adaptability are just a few of the techniques presented.

Yapko does an excellent job of showing the effects of depression in a larger context--not just family relationships, but also how family members often take their learned behaviors into school, work, and other social relationships. His practical methods for dealing with depression call for serious effort and repeat actions, but by putting just a few of his suggestions into practice, you may find yourself with stronger family relationships and a renewed sense of hope for the future. --Jill Lightner

From Library Journal

Mental health practitioners have long observed that depression runs in families. Clinical psychologist Yapko (Breaking the Patterns of Depression, LJ 6/1/97) discusses the interrelationship of depression, parenting styles, and family dynamics, contending that inherited depression cannot be solely explained in terms of genetic inheritance or biochemical imbalance. Social and behavioral factors play a major role; parents transmit dysfunctional patterns of perception and thinking to their children, who in turn continue negative attitudes and behaviors and unwittingly pass these on to their own children. Through clear explanations and case studies, Yapko illustrates that how families deal with life experiences can either predispose members to depression or insulate them from it. Yapko describes communication, problem solving, and critical thinking skills that individuals and families can learn and use to create healthy relationships and outlines methods of family systems therapy in the treatment of depression. Recommended for popular psychology collections.ALucille M. Boone, San Jose P.L., CA
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 256 pages
• Publisher: Golden Guides from St. Martin's Press (July 14, 2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0312263325
• ISBN-13: 978-0312263324
• Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 6.1 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 10.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #363,746 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

31 of 32 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This wonderful book empowers families to beat depression., March 28, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: Hand-Me-Down Blues : How to Stop Depression from Spreading in Families (Hardcover)

The many endorsements from his colleagues enticed me to buy Dr. Yapko's book. It lived up to and even surpassed the high expectations! It was easy to read and totally engrossed me as I finally came to understand how my family created the environment in which I learned what Dr. Yapko would probably call "faulty patterns" of thinking and relating. I've been depressed, and I've been treated with antidepressants, and I now understand much more about why the drugs never improved my ability to handle my family better. I learned a lot from the many stories he provides that illustrate his key points, and I often felt he was talking directly to me. There's no doubt he knows what depression is about, and he inspires the confidence to learn to do things differently. I give this book my highest recommendation!

14 of 15 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Depression is about families, not just individuals, February 11, 2004

By A Customer

What impressed me the most about this book was Dr. Yapko's consideration of how depression is much more than something that hurts only individuals. It hurts families, too. My husband had been depressed for a long time, and refused to get any help, thinking it would "just go away." It didn't. I didn't know how to cope with him, and neither did our kids. We just got frustrated and angry, which didn't help. The book helped me get a much better understanding of what my husband has been going through and how I can cope with his way of doing things. But even better than that, I have a positive way of talking with the kids and our friends and relatives about his issues and how they affect us. My husband is doing better lately, and I think that's due to some of the suggestions in the book that have helped us be smarter in the way we deal with him. As Dr. Yapko points out, when we change some of what we do, others will change, too. This book has really helped our family alot, for which I am grateful to Dr. Yapko.

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars So that's what's wrong with my family!, January 3, 2003

By A Customer

As they say, you can't judge a book by its cover but when I saw the title, I had to read it. As I was checking it out of my local library, the woman in line behind me saw the cover and was disappointed that I was taking it out instead of returning it. This all speaks volumes about the need for someone to explain how some families get so dysfunctional in the first place and more importantly how to counteract their negative influence and hopefully recover from it. I've known for years that the root of my depression was in the family dsyfunction I grew up with but I couldn't quite explain how. We didn't become dysfunctional by the classic things like alcoholism or drug abuse but by something more insidious. Reading this book helped me at least start to unravel the tangled mess of my depressive family relationships. It's not a cure-all but it's a great start!