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The Complete A**hole's Guide to Handling Chicks

(Author), (Author)
3.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (91 customer reviews)

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Customers buy this book with I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell (movie tie-in): with 16 page photo insert by Tucker Max

The Complete A**hole's Guide to Handling Chicks + I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell (movie tie-in): with 16 page photo insert

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Editorial Reviews

Product Description

Ever wonder why the a**hole always gets the girl? The answers are all here in this cradle-to-grave primer outlining how women can be manipulated, frustrated, and ultimately dominated through-out the course of a man's life. With no political correctness, no B.S., and no holds barred, who else but an a**hole could teach guys the essentials: -Dating in college (i.e., getting blackout drunk and having sex) -Women give sex to get love, men give love to get sex -Breaking up is not hard to do-if you do it first -How to cheat on your wife without getting caught -Everything that pornos are afraid to teach men about sex -And much more! With 'practical' advice throughout (inclu-ding tests, trivia, charts, and sidebars) and tons of hilarious tips to read aloud at parties, men will never be intimidated by women again!

Product Details

  • Paperback: 288 pages
  • Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin; 1st edition (May 1, 2003)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0312310846
  • ISBN-13: 978-0312310844
  • Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.4 x 0.9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 9.1 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (91 customer reviews)
  • Amazon.com Sales Rank: #4,552 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

    Popular in these categories: (What's this?)

    #14 in  Books > Entertainment > Humor > Parodies
    #25 in  Books > Entertainment > Humor > Love, Sex & Marriage
    #59 in  Books > Health, Mind & Body > Relationships > Marriage

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Inside This Book (learn more)
First Sentence:
It all started one day when your parents were drunk and Dad attacked your nearly passed-out mom after she had finished her third glass of white zinfandel. Read the first page
Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
sorority chicks, college chicks, other chicks
Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
Little League, Miss America
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Front Cover | Table of Contents | First Pages | Back Cover | Surprise Me!
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Customer Reviews

91 Reviews
5 star:
 (46)
4 star:
 (9)
3 star:
 (4)
2 star:
 (7)
1 star:
 (25)
 
 
 
 
 
Average Customer Review
3.5 out of 5 stars (91 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

 
144 of 171 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Stranger than fiction but mostly spot on!, May 11, 2005
By Jenna1959 (APO, AE Germany) - See all my reviews
This is without a doubt the funniest damn thing I have read in the last ten years written by two individuals who either learned or have always been animals with women. Their insights while many times exaggerated (one assumes for comic effect), are dead on target about 95% of the time. What these (and all other) players understand that girly men and wussies do not, is that it's not about brutalizing, injuring or manipulating women. It all about men giving away their personal power to women they are attracted to. It's not that women are attracted to bad boys, as much as bad boys possess many of the traits that women are attracted to. Women, especially beautiful women are approached constantly and are used to making most men uncomfortable as well as bend over backwards to gain their approval. So when they finally meets a man who doesn't cower, meets their every thrust and parry without missing a beat, doesn't shower them with compliments they've heard a hundred times and actually pokes fun at them........he separates himself from the rest of the pack (of mostly nancy boys and panty waists). Bad boys are generally confident, cocky and not easily intimidated (least of all by women). These guys (the authors) truly "get it" and if you take that much away from this masterpiece in disguise, you'll start "getting it" as well, more often than you ever have in your entire life! Buy the damn book!
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10 of 11 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars Counter-intuitive advice, July 28, 2007
By Michael P. Maslanka (dallas, texas United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
Some of the advice is standard: don't be needy, show value, exploit insecurity. But these guys go a step further: what do you do when you are in your 30s and 40s and 50s? The answer: get married before you turn 40 because women will not trust a man over 40 who has never been married. Of course, they go on to talk about cheating on your wife(always deny, never leave a trail), finding a wife with money(reminds you of the Sam Kinison routine: homelessness is solved by either getting a job or sleeping with someone who has a job), make sure you have a wad of cash for the divorce and take steps to protect your assets. And speaking of Kinison---these guys write like they are channeling him. It is often harsh, sometimes inappropriate, and usually a distortion of the truth, but isn't all humor?
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127 of 169 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Outrageous Fun., March 7, 2005
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I cannot think of any book that would more offend Big Feminism or the avatars of political correctness than this one. I'm not surprised that the authors used cover names when publishing it. The premise of the book is, unless you're rich or famous, you have to be a SOB to consistently pick up women. There is much truth in this assumption. That women are receptive to bad boys appears undeniable even if it is profoundly depressing to those of us who treat them kindly. The writers here want to teach their readers how to become a**holes so they can become more successful obtaining the pleasures that the opposite sex has to offer. In the case of this reviewer, however, it's too late. I seem to have a biological predisposition to being nice to women I like--this desire, I believe, is actually rather healthy but is counter-productive in the short-term. I do think that there is great humor in many of their rules, asides, and stories. Accusations of misogyny will (and have) be directed towards these guys, and, although I would like to defend them, I cannot. They make some sweeping generalizations that are not completely accurate, but I think that's all part of the Andrew Dice Clay tone they adopt. To them, it's all in good fun. It won't be to feministas, who complain on a daily basis about the average man's lack of submission, so one can only imagine the conniptions they'll have after reading this. Let's hope it becomes a classic in Womyn's Studies departments across the country.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews

2.0 out of 5 stars This book is for fun, not really a guide of any sort...
Yeah, pretty much what I said. I bought this because the title was funny and being that I don't really take other people's feelings all that seriously in my dating trysts and such... Read more
Published 16 days ago by B. Dominic Allen

1.0 out of 5 stars Terrible
This is a bad book. It was written as a joke and has no good advice.
Published 5 months ago by R. FAUZA

4.0 out of 5 stars Entertaining
Considering that this book is written as a guide for assholes to be good at being assholes, people who find the content and tone objectionable really don't have much to complain... Read more
Published 6 months ago by Jiang Xueqin

1.0 out of 5 stars Not What You'd Expect
Here's the thing. Im' a 28-year-old female who appreciates dirty filthy humor. I was even a huge laughing-so-hard-I'm-crying fan of the Tucker Max autobio. Read more
Published 7 months ago by J. Morini

5.0 out of 5 stars WOMEN need this book.
I volunteer with youth groups and organizations for college "girls".
There is an entire "arsenal", if you will, of books we recommend they read about dating and... Read more
Published 9 months ago by Soulflower

2.0 out of 5 stars not what I expected...
I thought this book would be funnier but its pretty dumb I think they were serious about most of the stuff in here... not even comparable to maddox and tucker max's book.
Published 11 months ago by Gustavo Bessa

1.0 out of 5 stars Horrible
This book blows, it was horrible. I wish I could get back the time I spent reading it.
Published 11 months ago by NJ

1.0 out of 5 stars Ehh...okay
This book was okay. The "advice" if you could call it that was not that great. I can't really say I would recommend the book to anyone besides maybe a 13 year old kid. Read more
Published 11 months ago by Not Impressed

1.0 out of 5 stars eh
kinda funny, but its a tough read. there are alot of charts that extend to the next page, so you have to flip back and forth.
Published 11 months ago by Ryan Hirsch

5.0 out of 5 stars A Must Read
As a female college student I not only loved this book but found exactly what kind of guy to avoid. There were so many pages of this book that are simply laugh out loud funny... Read more
Published 16 months ago by Megan Pitlyk

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This book is supposed to be Humorous people! 0 July 2007
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