Money, A Memoir: Women, Emotions, and Cash (Paperback)

by Liz Perle (Author) "THE ONLY TIME I EVER HEARD MY ELEGANT GRANDMOTHER use a Yiddish word, I was nine years old..." (more)
Key Phrases: emotional middle class, spending styles, relationship with money, New York, Inner Stewardess, Prince Charming (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly
Starred Review. In spite of women's supposedly massive buying power and growing presence in Fortune 500 boardrooms, many women are still awfully old-fashioned when it comes to cash. Why do they show so little interest in managing investments? Or lie to their partners about what something costs? And what's behind that evil prescription known as "retail therapy"? Perle (When Work Doesn't Work Anymore) investigates these questions and others in this remarkable sociological study-cum-memoir. She boldly exposes her own financial fears (the book opens as she's confronting a divorce and the reality that she and her four-year-old son will have to sleep on a friend's couch), admitting that, despite her years climbing the corporate ladder (in publishing, incidentally), "there's still that other part of me—the one that wants to reserve the option of depending on someone else." Perle also profiles dozens of everyday women, spotlighting the anxiety, embarrassment and guilt money causes them. Commentary from financial experts, sociologists and others helps demonstrate Perle's thesis: women cannot afford to be ambivalent about money and must learn to separate feelings from finance. Perle's book raises more questions than it answers, which is part of its allure—it'll surely have readers thinking twice before they log on to Bloomingdales.com after a bad day at work.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

Review

"A must-read for any woman who really wants to be in control of her life."--Arianna Huffington
 
"Liz Perle uncovers a wealth of emotions attached to money and a sisterhood of denial about finances. . . . Reading her book . . . will make you realize you're not alone."--People
 
"[A] welcome cautionary tale for the modern woman. . . . Her thought-provoking tract, bolstered by extensive interviews and research, urges women to forget Prince Charming, stop fantasizing about that six-burner Viking stove, and start funding their IRAs."--Entertainment Weekly (Must List selection)
 
"Ms. Perle has hit a nerve with her book. . . . If you are trying to step off the precipice of financial decline, reading this book is a good place to start."--The New York Sun
 
"Tackles some intriguing and important questions about a subject that too many nice girls were raised never to talk about at all."--Fortune
 
"A smart, compelling analysis."--The New York Times "Liz Perle is not a traditional financial writer in the school of Suze Orman but rather a keen psychological observer of her own guilt, magical thinking, and emotional dodges when it comes to money."--Time
 
"Liz Perle confesses to erratic fiscal behavior in Money: A Memoir, bravely exposing her financial foibles and hang-ups. . . . Kudos to her for having the courage to air her dirty financial laundry so other women can benefit."--USA Today
 
"At once more contentious and more ambitious than the cynical view would have it . . . Perle has good cause to press on, and good instincts about where to press. . . . She backs herself up with psychiatrists and sociologists . . . but she also does the uneasy work, however anecdotally, of unpacking identity and security as functions of dependence and extrapolating the money-influenced issues of power and trust and respect that hang many women, and many men, up. Perle's best material is the really personal, presumably unspeakable stuff. . . . Driven to expose the most shameful, presumably unmentionable aspects of our financial disappointments, with the . . . conviction that frank discussion is essential for progressing beyond them."--San Francisco Chronicle
 
"Thought-provoking."--Chicago Sun-Times
 
 "Illuminating . . . With candor and self-deprecating humor, she offers herself as Exhibit A. . . . The book contains a message that needs to be heard and heeded, not only to benefit women but also to give their offspring a better financial example."--The Christian Science Monitor
 
"The strength of the book lies in Perle's willingness to 'be the first fool,' to lay out her own insecurities and missteps with total candor."--Los Angeles Times
 
"Intriguing . . . Compelling."--The Washington Post Book World
 
"A wake-up call for the retail-inclined."--Fort Worth Star-Telegram
 
"Money, A Memoir is written very much on the model of Naomi Wolf or Peggy Orenstein . . . Perle is so friendly sounding and full of examples that it's hard not to start thinking about your own financial situation as you read. More personal than a self-help book, more utilitarian than a memoir, Perle's book might instead be thought of as a call to arms. Time to get our financial houses in order."--Raleigh News & Observer
 
"Money, A Memoir is a page-turner."--Bloomberg News
 
"[A] remarkable sociological study-cum-memoir . . . Perle's book raises more questions than it answers, which is part of its allure--it'll surely have readers thinking twice before they log on to Bloomingdales.com after a bad day at work."--Publishers Weekly (starred review)
 
"Eye-opening . . . Perle's interviews with psychologists and financial experts are compelling. Her phrase 'emotional middle class'--to describe what she considers the country's now-mythic middle class--may enter the lexicon."--The Buffalo News
 
"Fascinating."--San Francisco magazine
 
"This wonderful book shines a spotlight on the ambivalence women have about all things financial--we love nice things but feel guilty if we have them and resentful if we don't. I'm making it required reading for all my clients--men and women!"--Chellie Campbell, author of The Wealthy Spirit and From Zero to Zillionaire
 
"How did Liz Perle get so far inside women's heads? This is much more than a memoir. It's one of the most insightful and important books about women's behavior I've ever read."--Hope Edelman, author of Motherless Daughters
 
"If you want to understand many women's complex and contradictory attitudes about money, take out your wallet and buy Liz Perle's very personal and very honest look at the subject in Money, A Memoir."--Myrna Blyth, former editor-in-chief of Ladies Home Journal and author of Spin Sisters
 
"A smart, funny, insightful book on women and money. Liz Perle writes with love and enthusiasm about this essential topic."--Judith Orloff M.D., author of Positive Energy
 
"Change is in the air. Someone finally has the courage to be straight about women's emotional struggles with money. Every woman who reads this touching, smart, and true book will come away with more insight into one of the most important relationships in her life--the one between her and her pocketbook."--Debbie Ford, author of The Dark Side of the Light Chasers and The Best Year of Your Life

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 288 pages
• Publisher: Picador (December 12, 2006)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0312426275
• ISBN-13: 978-0312426279
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.5 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars See all reviews (31 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #95,572 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

  Popular in these categories: (What's this?)

  #33 in	Books > Business & Investing > Personal Finance > Money Management for Women
  #70 in	Books > Business & Investing > Women & Business

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

33 of 37 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Very accessable, lively and humorous book focusing on women's (often ambivalent) feelings about money, January 15, 2006

By	K. Corn "reviewer" (Indianapolis,, IN United States) - See all my reviews (TOP 100 REVIEWER)

This review is from: Money, A Memoir: Women, Emotions, and Cash (Hardcover)

People have a hard particularly time being honest about their attitudes towards two things:Sex and...money. For whatever reason, women may find the path to financial literacy stewn with obstacles...perhaps even more so then men.

Whether you believe this or not, I'd urge you to read this book, especially if you are one of those women who happens to hate books about "money" and/or "finances". This one may change your mind and, at the least, get you to think more deeply about how your finances impact every area of your life. Is it enlightening? It certainly was for me and I've read quite a few financial books, from the classics to the downright silly. This is one I'd recommend.

If you are looking for a deeply researched and detailed sociological study of money and women, this is not THAT book. It isn't chock full of charts, graphs, statistics and all that. Instead, it is a brave, honest expose' by one women concerning her fears, impulses and patterns when it comes to money -and spending and saving it. In the process, she delves into the subject of women and money, going beyond her own individual feelings and into the larger community, talking to her friends, to other women, etc. She also doesn't take herself too seriously, which makes for a book that had me chuckling in places, even laughing out loud.

The author does have a point to make, focusing on how and why women need to understand how their emotions and values affect their spending patterns, for better or worse. She makes this point repeatedly. It is a point well worth repeating...to drive the point home.

While I'm sure there will be those who'll see this as just another attempt to stereotype women simply by noting that they may actually be different from men, this is NOT an attack on women nor is it or an attempt to prove that women are weaker or less powerful than men. Noting that our culture STILL views men and women differently and that we grow up with different attitudes as a result is NOT the same as supporting stereotypes. It is, instead, an attempt to make us more aware of them...and to change our actions.

After closing this book, I sat down and explored my own beliefs and attitudes towards money. In the process, I was able to "tweak" my own finances and I felt much more confident about WHY I was making those choices. I also felt empowered (much as I hate that word, I can't think of a better one to describe the feeling I had after finishing this book) and more in touch with my beliefs and values, being able to prioritize my choices.

29 of 34 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent book every middle class woman single or married needs to read,, March 4, 2006

By	MotherLodeBeth "MotherLodeBeth" (Sierras of California) - See all my reviews (TOP 100 REVIEWER)

This review is from: Money, A Memoir: Women, Emotions, and Cash (Hardcover)

This is one of those rare gems of a book that you cannot put down once you begin reading it. And it imparts so much wisdom its hard to know where to start.

Now I admit I came of age during the height of the feminist movement of the seventies and admit I am always taken aback when I read any book by someone who is well educated, has had enough money to live middle class, yet makes choices that go against the self preservation that the feminist leaders of the seventies talked about almost ad nauseum.

The one element of the book the author doesn't deal with and she notes up front on page 2 'Since this is a book about money, I won't go too deeply into the losing-the-marriage part'. I note this simply because every book on finances and divorce note that money is the number one issue or cause, so looking deeper into this aspect would have been helpful if not interesting and educational for a lot of women.

Again she notes on page 8-9 'So it was five weeks later, at the age of forty-two, I bumped down on the stormy tarmac of San Francisco International Airport with no job, no home, and no clue what was going to happen. I had those hundred-dollar bills and, as it turned out, a small savings account, but almost everything else -- even the joint credit card I carried--was in my husband's name and under his control half a world away'.

Again I was shocked that in the years since the feminists had driven home the message that no woman should ever be dependent on a man and all women should have their own credit that I was reading of a woman who in her own words had fallen thru the cracks of what she knew was required.

This is what makes this book so important. As she writes on pages 10-11 that she then began to encounter other women who she would interview, who lived in trailers to gated communities, who had such interesting views about money. "some of the women I talked to were really rich. Others were hovering at the bottom of the middle-class tax bracket. Yet they all admitted that money was the great unexplored territory in their emotional terrain. And in no case did ignorance turn out to equal bliss'.

Now she write on page 25 'Women relate to money much differently than men do. There are many reason large and small why this is true. When I asked Stephen Goldbart, a prominent psychotherapist and codirector of the Money, Meaning,and Choices Institute, about these differences, he tells me that they are ancient and deeply embedded psychologically and biologically in both sexes. These differences are so old, so deep, and such a part of our basic wiring that they cannot be ignored.'

Excuse me but I suggest that saying 'Women' rather than 'many' or 'most' women is a big mistake. Especially for those of us who savour and use the wisdom in books like Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert T. Kiyosaki and/or Fortune in Your Cookies by Meena Cheng.

As someone who was raised in a family where my brother as well as myself were expected to work save and not depend on someone else to take care of them, some of the advise this author was given growing up or as an adult is odd.

While the authors grandmother was advising her to marry well and not think about money, my two grandmothers who had been left widows in their twenties with three small children each, knew that being self sufficient and being wise with money was what would make life better for themselves and their children. They each completed their teaching degrees and went into teaching careers.

Nonetheless I feel this is a book that every middle class woman single or married needs to read, if only to see some red flags in their own lives, so that they can nip some issues in the bud before they get any bigger.

Now, I tend to be one of those people who loves learning from other peoples mistakes. Back in the 80's I remember reading how women like Doris Day and Debbie Reynolds had both been taken to the cleaners by their ex-husbands. Two highly paid women entertainers who became bankrupt. Two reminders that told me I needed to do all I could to make sure that should something happen that I would be able to survive on my own.

Thankfully I had a good marriage which I think was due in part to a smart partner who insisted I be an equal partner, no secrets. Thus we did pretty good and now that I am a widow, I am not destitute but have enough to live a good life and have some things I want and not just things I need.

This book can provide some of that widsom.

11 of 11 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Fresh and Energizing Approach to Money, March 17, 2006

By	Judith G. Krasnow "Judy Gail 'Storyteller" (Miami, FL USA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This review is from: Money, A Memoir: Women, Emotions, and Cash (Hardcover)

I learned of "Money: A Memoir" while listening to the Diane Rehm Show on NPR. I was riveted to the radio as the author, Liz Perle, recited the statistics about the numbers of women who will end up living in poverty in middle and old age. At 63, divorced, the alimony having ended, the home equity loan no longer a blessing with interest rates going up and up, and having been a performance artist since I was eight-years-old (It takes constant hustling to earn one's living as a professional storyteller, historic portrayal artist, and folksinger), I heard myself as part of those statistics. However,I also heard that if I change my attitude towards money and separate emotions, fears, and what the "Joneses" think and instead focus on my particular needs and realities, I stand a chance of not seeing my (and millions of other women's) worst nightmare come true: that of becoming a bag lady. I promptly ordered the book and read it as soon as it arrived. I could not put it down. I felt like I had found a friend who knew what I was going through and what my fears and feelings of inadequacy were. Though I would have liked a greater variety of examples of women's stories and experiences to be included in the book, Ms. Perle's own story affected me deeply. When her divorce occurred and the savings were almost gone, she sat down and looked at her own necessities minus frills. She prioritized, added, and knew what she must earn to fulfill these needs. I am now in the process of doing the same. I gained strength and courage from her words and examples. Most-importantly, reading the book somehow took away my feelings that I was no one, nothing, the scum of the earth because I am not rich and don't have a retirement plan and may even consider renting a room or two in the four-bedroom townhouse I live in alone. In other words, the book worked. It has certainly helped me to separate money from emotion in defining my value as a person, and I have embarked on a thought-out plan to earn, through my talent, the money I need for the priorities I have. Additionally, I found Liz Perle's insightful writing about how we women, even in this modern era, have been and continue to be duped by those princess stories of Prince Charming coming our way and taking care of us. She clearly points out that even if we are lucky enough to meet our Prince Charming, and, of course, he lucky enough to meet us, his Princess Charming, that money should not enter the charm, and that we women must look to provide for ourselves. I recommend this book for women of all ages and walks of life.