Adult Children of Abusive Parents: A Healing Program for Those Who Have Been Physically, Sexually, or Emotionally Abused (Paperback)

~ (Author) "Norma has no close friends, seldom goes out, and discourages her husband, George, from going out as well..." (more)
Key Phrases: record your experiences, abusive past, internal parents, Natural Child, Hurting Child, Controlling Child (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

The violent forms of child abuse that make headlines are not the only ones that leave lifelong scars. A child who grows up in an unstable environment where empathy, clear boundaries and trust are lacking, can end up living a ravaged adulthood. Children can be crippled by mixed messages, family secrets and reversed parent-child roles. Many victims of these practices are not even sure their childhood was abusive. This balanced, practical guide delineates traits of abusive families. Narrative vignettes in each section illustrate and personalize critical issues. Most valuable is the step-by-step self-help program that includes exercises and journal work for recovery.

Product Description

A history of a childhood abuse is not a life sentence. Here is hope, healing, and a chance to recover the self lost in childhood. Drawing on his extensive work with Adult Children, and on his own experience as a survivor of emotional neglect, therapist Steven Farmer demonstrates that through exercises and journal work, his program can help lead you through grieving your lost childhood, to become your own parent, and integrate the healing aspects of spiritual, physical, and emotional recovery into your adult life.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 224 pages
• Publisher: Ballantine Books (April 14, 1990)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0345363884
• ISBN-13: 978-0345363886
• Product Dimensions: 7.9 x 5.1 x 0.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 5.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (14 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #38,745 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

  Popular in these categories: (What's this?)

  #32 in	Books > Parenting & Families > Family Relationships > Dysfunctional Relationships
  #45 in	Books > Health, Mind & Body > Men's Health
  #92 in	Books > Health, Mind & Body > Psychology & Counseling > Mental Illness

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

173 of 174 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars good start, but need more, January 29, 2001

By	S. Weston "Sheri-dipity" (Louisville, CO USA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

I thought this book was great for anyone FIRST realizing that they were abused as children in any form: physical, verbal or sexual (most literature about abuse is on sexual, and most literature on domestic violence focuses on wife battering instead of child battering, so this book seemed more inclusive). Unfortunately, the book, which is 10 plus years old, focuses too much on forgiveness, which puts a huge burden on the abused child/adult. I recommend that one skip some of Farmer's "steps to healing" and move on to other books more recent, such as Jean Jenson's "Reclaiming Your Life: A Step-by-step guide to Using REgression Therapy to Overcome the Effects of Childhood Abuse." I think Jenson does more to get at the root of one's triggers, and the need to grieve from the right space, whereas Farmer seems to be putting band-aids on the situation. I think Farmer's was a good book for it's time, and is a good first step, but I would move on to more intensive books that will really help the abused route out the cause of so much pain and unconcious living. This is my humble opinion and I speak from experience.

50 of 52 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A much needed prescription for victims, September 10, 2004

By	Fruit Loop (Down South) - See all my reviews (TOP 500 REVIEWER)

Thank you, Mr. Farmer, for recognizing that the hurt doesn't stop once the abuse does; for me, coping with it as an adult was more difficult than as a child because I now realize with an adult's intelligence and insight, exactly what was being done to me and how horrible it was. So much abuse is undetected until the child grows up and realizes that no, this isn't normal (I didn't realize all families weren't like this) and it WAS wrong. Too many well-meaning people minimize the adult survivor's pain or dismiss it as meaningless: "that was years ago and it's over" "get over it and move on" or the worst, "Just don't dwell on it anymore." If you haven't been abused, you don't get it and never will. thank you, Mr. Farmer, for not only understanding, but for showing us a way out. The focus on child abuse is on children, not the survivors, and we need help too.

27 of 28 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Good Resource to Understand How You End up with Your Issues, April 17, 2005

By	Www.SubjectiveArt.Com (Miami, FL USA) - See all my reviews

I remember reading this book over and over again at one point of life, but in retrospect, this book traumatized me in a realization of the issues I was dealing with at the time. I would call this type of book "pathology book" in stead of calling it "recovery book." It helps to understand why certain issues arise, but in life, what you do about it is more important than understanding it. This book left me so sad without a lead to a hope of living. The solution suggested in this book was not effective to me. It would have been better if a book had pathology part and EFFECTIVE treatment part.

I believe readers should note that the book was written 15 years ago, and there has been much improvement in psychology and psychotherapy. I would have given five stars if this were to be written ten years ago, but due to the gap in time and situation, I had to reduce it to four stars. It is still a great book as far as understanding your association with your care takers.