Find a Husband After 35 Using What I Learned at Harvard Business School (Hardcover)

~ (Author) "Before you actually start The Program, there are four tasks you should perform to ramp up and get ready: 1. Value your best customers: Go..." (more)
Key Phrases: New York, Marketing Focus, Dumb Daters (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

It is difficult to say what exactly is "simple" in this step-by-step plan for finding a "wonderful man" in 12 to 18 months. It certainly is not the part where Greenwald instructs the participant to call every person she knows-from her doctor to her ex-boyfriend-and make known her commitment to finding a mate. However, this Harvard graduate maintains that her program works for most of her clients as long as all the steps are implemented faithfully. Although it can be time-consuming, financially taxing and sometimes nearly humiliating, this approach will achieve the desired results, the author says. Drawing upon her marketing expertise as well as her experience with clients, Greenwald teaches the reader to always put her best foot forward, be willing to compromise on her ideals in a man and take rejection in stride. The book takes a reactionary, conservative approach to dating: she emphasizes the importance of femininity and of letting the man make the first move; "men are usually more attracted to women in skirts than in pants... literally as well as figuratively." Exploring all the options available to singles, including online dating, singles events, community programs, even changing everyday habits (i.e., going to Starbucks instead of drinking coffee at home and shopping at the supermarket instead of the grocery store down the block), Greenwald covers all the bases and provides a thorough program for dedicated women who have made a priority of finding that special someone.
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Review

“Want a spouse? Read this book!”
–Fortune

“Within two weeks of trying Rachel’s strategies, [I’m] now juggling so many suitors that I’ve started a ‘man-agement’ diary.”
–O magazine

“Greenwald is the hottest thing to hit the dating scene since Sex and the City!”
–The Observer (London)

“Dating diva Rachel Greenwald [delivers] an espresso shot of practical advice.”
–Rocky Mountain News

“May be the most pragmatic set of dating rules yet.”
–New York Post


From the Trade Paperback edition. --This text refers to the Kindle Edition edition.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 336 pages
• Publisher: Ballantine Books; 1st edition (September 16, 2003)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 034546625X
• ISBN-13: 978-0345466259
• Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.7 x 1.3 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 3.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (69 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #398,960 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

130 of 145 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Romance Coach Reviews "Find A Husband After 35", September 30, 2003

By	Kathryn Lord "Your Romance Coach" (Tallahassee, FL United States) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

I'm a CyberRomance Coach (www.KathrynBLord.com), and
wrote this review of Rachel Greenwood's book for my
enewsletter of 10/1/2003:

A couple of weeks ago, I heard from a reader about this
new book by Rachel Greenwald "Find a Husband after 35."
Despite the trite (but definitely clear) title,
Greenwald has some new things to say to single people,
no matter what their age or gender.

I read the book in practically one sitting -- not
because it was short or an easy read (neither), but
because Greenwald's angle was so interesting. The
author has an M. B. A. from Harvard, and uses a strict
business and marketing approach to finding a mate.
She is "no-nonsense" -- doesn't care about why one is
still single, puts up with no excuses for getting real
and getting moving. Her Program (and she calls it that
- The Program) is all about action.

Greenwald's first of fifteen steps "to find a husband
in 12 to 18 months" is making finding a mate your #1

priority. And Greenwald MEANS #1. She writes that
if a woman is not married, wants to be, and is over 35,
it's an emergency and needs to be treated as such.

She writes on about the importance of setting a budget
(she recommends 10 to 20 percent of your net income),
paying close attention to packaging -- "creating you
best look," "branding" -- not the painful hot iron to
skin type, advertising, online marketing (Internet
dating), on and on. Most made terrific sense. But

my teeth really got set on edge with the
"Telemarketing" chapter. Ooo-eee! There's got to be
legislation coming to stop THAT one.

This book does the very best in the chapter on "Market
Expansion." Greenwald does a great job in helping the
reader question going for a particular "type" when
looking for a mate. She encourages vastly expanding
the criteria one is willing to consider, telling
yourself and others merely that you are looking for
"someone wonderful," and keeping in mind that the
package may end up looking far different from what you
had fantasized. Women and men of all ages could
benefit from reading just pages 68 - 80.

The clearest message from Greenwald's book is the need
for focus and action. I frankly have no doubt if you
diligently followed her marketing steps (and she even
has a way of proceeding if The Program does not seem
to be "working"), you WOULD be partnered within 18
months. What's impossible to imagine is that you

would NOT be.

But "The Program" is not for the faint-hearted or the
ambivalent. It's hard work, driven, and success-
oriented. Reading this book may help you assess
how really committed you are to find a mate.

Greenwald's three "Priority Questions" are:

1. Is finding a husband the most important goal in
your life right now?

2. Except for something illegal or immoral, would
you do anything to find a husband?

3. Are you committed to devoting the required time,

energy, and money to find your husband?

So, what do you think? Is your mate search REALLY a
priority for you? If not, maybe that's part of the
problem.

49 of 54 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars a man's view, October 4, 2003

By	Timothy Horrigan "Tim Horrigan" (Durham, NH United States) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

My mother bought this for my sister (who is over 35, as am I). I thought it would be useful for me to read it since I might like to find a wife at some point (although right now, as of October 2003, I am getting over some stuff and am not ready to get married right away.) And I thought it would be useful to see if anyone is using the tactics in this book on me.

I spotted at least three of Ms Greenwald's tactics being used on me, but nothing very exciting. As far as I can tell, no one is plotting to get married to me right now.

First, some women do send polite refusals to my online dating emails, as recommended in the book. (Ms Greenwald's reason for actually bothering to respond to emails from unattractive men is to create the possibility of an unsuitable suitor being moved to recommend you to one of his friends who does meet your criteria--- as if any self-respecting man who cares about his friends' happiness would do such a thing!)

Second, my ex did once ask me out to dinner at the last moment (while she was ex, not while she was my partner) at the last moment to test my spontaneity. She came right out and said, "I was testing you to see if you would do something spontaneous." (I do not know if she has actually read the book, but her action came right out of its pages. Ms Greenwald recommends testing a man for spontaneity and other qualities throughout the dating process. Ms Greenwald actually recommends calling the man on Thursday and demanding that he takes you on a romantic trip to a bed and breakfast that very weekend--- even though men hate staying at bed and breakfasts.)

And thirdly I have noticed women waiting for me to make the first move, as recommended in the book (because making the first move would allegedly strike the man as unfeminine.)

These are not very positive comments, but I will say that there are some good commonsense ideas in here. The author's basic message is that a woman has to go out into the world and make her presence known if she wants to find a mate, because that is where her future husband is--- out there in the world. That is not bad advice, and the basic outlines of her plan are sound--- even though some of the details of her plan give me the creeps, and I would be a little (maybe more than a little) frightened if any woman actually used this plan on me.

38 of 44 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars Complete crap, July 10, 2005

By	navi8or (USA) - See all my reviews

Skimmed through the book...did not have to read this one. If you ever visited match.com, you will discover she writes a column for finding love over 40. She uses all of her book there...she quotes from it extensively. Women write in saying they don't want a man with kids...she tells them they are too picky, the kids could be dolls and she is throwing away a man who can commit (no, he can reproduce...big difference.) One said he was fat, a smoker (lied about both) and had raging BO...she suggested staying with him and nudging him toward a healthy lifestyle and deodorant(if a grown man cannot figure out basic hygiene, that is not the woman's problem...and vice versa.) One met a man who was unemployed...she told her to give him a chance because things happen sometimes and he could be a prince in a frog's life(there are men and women happy to mooch though, why waste time?)

Yes she has one point I agree with--some people set their standards way too high...oh he has a slightly receding hairline...Gotta run. I want someone who makes 75K or more, and his last tax return said 74K...hittin' the road. Her column and book are asking women to overlook flaws and hide who they are, not diminish a perfectionist streak. Besides, those who crave perfection in a mate are subconsciously pushing relationships away anyways and won't be reading this book.

No one would write a book to men and say "if she reeks, give her a chance, she could be a sweetie." "If she is ugly/fat/unsightly she may have a heart of gold and you are being too picky." "If she hates your dog, get rid of the dog if you want a wife." Most men I know would ditch the chick for the dog...a wise choice to me. My dog and cats have outlasted every relationship I have had because relationships are about mutual compromise...not one person giving up him/herself to cause a fake mesh with someone else.

You don't need to read the book to know her premise...settle for what you can get after 35. I think I will pass again...if Rachel paid for Harvard, clearly she was not planning to settle for any business school. Why settle when it comes to something that is supposed to last longer than 3 years?