The Secret of Life: Commonsense Advice for the Uncommon Woman (Paperback)

~ Elizabeth Wurtzel (Author) "This is the essence of life..." (more)
Key Phrases: Elizabeth Wurtzel, New York, Patti Smith

Editorial Reviews

Review

Praise for Bitch: In Praise of Difficult Women

"One of the more honest, insightful and witty books on the subject of women to have come along in a while."
-Karen Lehrman, New York Times Book Review

"The Courtney Love of letters--an extraordinarily thought-provoking, absorbing, wise, often poignant read. You can disagree with Wurtzel, but at least she always has a passionate point of view."
-Dana Kennedy, Entertainment Weekly

"It's got the preposterous energy of a great, drunken tantrum, and a voluptuous, sprawling style, with lots of good, zinging jokes."
-Mary Gaitskill, The Village Voice Literary Supplement


Praise for Prozac Nation:

"Sparkling, luminescent prose...by turns wrenching and comical, self-indulgent and self-aware, Prozac Nation possesses the raw candor of Joan Didion's essays, the irritating emotional exhibitionism of Sylvia Plath's Bell Jar, the wry, dark humor of a Bob Dylan song...a powerful portrait of one girl's journey through the purgatory of depression and back."
-Michiko Kakutani, New York Times

"Thoughtful...Very brave...like all provocateurs, she poses questions which make you think."
-Julia Phillips, Vanity Fair

"Sylvia Plath with the ego of Madonna."
-The New York Times Book Review -- Review

Praise for Bitch: In Praise of Difficult Women

"One of the more honest, insightful and witty books on the subject of women to have come along in a while."
-Karen Lehrman, New York Times Book Review

"The Courtney Love of letters--an extraordinarily thought-provoking, absorbing, wise, often poignant read. You can disagree with Wurtzel, but at least she always has a passionate point of view."
-Dana Kennedy, Entertainment Weekly

"It's got the preposterous energy of a great, drunken tantrum, and a voluptuous, sprawling style, with lots of good, zinging jokes."
-Mary Gaitskill, The Village Voice Literary Supplement


Praise for Prozac Nation:

"Sparkling, luminescent prose...by turns wrenching and comical, self-indulgent and self-aware, Prozac Nation possesses the raw candor of Joan Didion's essays, the irritating emotional exhibitionism of Sylvia Plath's Bell Jar, the wry, dark humor of a Bob Dylan song...a powerful portrait of one girl's journey through the purgatory of depression and back."
-Michiko Kakutani, New York Times

"Thoughtful...Very brave...like all provocateurs, she poses questions which make you think."
-Julia Phillips, Vanity Fair

"Sylvia Plath with the ego of Madonna."
-The New York Times Book Review --This text refers to an alternate Paperback edition.

Product Description

Though she might not always follow her own advice, Elizabeth Wurtzel knows certain things to be true: Doing copious amounts of drugs leads nowhere you want to be; trying to be friends with your ex is always a bad idea; if you can’t afford to hire a mover, you can’t afford to move; and always doing the best you can is always good enough.

Here are Wurtzel’s succinct and clever rules for living your best life. Fulfillment is within everyone’s reach. Grasping it takes enjoying your mistakes, being strong, and having opinions. Today’s woman should:

• Be Gorgeous. Make the absolute most of what you’ve got. Believe that you are gorgeous, and you will be. It’s the only trick that really works.
• Embrace Fanaticism. Harness joie de vivre by pursuing insane interests, consuming passions, and constant sources of gratification that do not depend on the approval of others.
• Use All Available Resources. Let the M.D.s and the Ph.D.s help you solve your problems so that you don’t become everyone else’s problem.
• Never Clear the Table at a Dinner Party Unless the Men Get Up to Help First. Cleanup should not be gendered. Change the world, one dinner table at a time. Hold a sit-in.

One of the fiercest, funniest, and best-known essayists of her generation, Elizabeth Wurtzel infuses this modest gem of a rule book with a sharp wit and a real candor.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 160 pages
• Publisher: Ballantine Books (August 31, 2004)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0345476751
• ISBN-13: 978-0345476753
• Product Dimensions: 7.1 x 4.5 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 4.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 2.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (23 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #575,062 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars A mixed bag, June 16, 2007

By	Veronica (England) - See all my reviews

This is a pretty expensive book considering it's much shorter than the average novel or even self-help book. A few of the 'rules' are insightful and interesting, some are pretty silly (e.g. only wear men's Levi 501 jeans, even if they don't suit you), and others are just plain disagreeable! Overall, it's a mixed bag of advice and a quick read.

Wurtzel targets the book firmly at women exactly like her. She makes lots of references to being drunk and taking drugs and random sexual encounters. I'm not attacking her for these things, simply stating that the book is mainly aimed at people with similar interests. For example, the rule 'Have Pets' includes the sentence 'If you are not up to being a good dog owner, if you are still doing cocaine until 5 in the morning and still falling asleep on the floor after maybe or maybe not having sex with somebody or other, don't get a dog'.

The best rules in the book were those that encouraged women to be bold and brave and interesting. I found the most inspiring advice was for women to be passionate about a range of things other than men. To read books and newspapers, to watch films and sports, to listen to all types of music etc...in short, to cultivate lifelong interests that they will never give up, no matter how many other family and work commitments are thrust upon them. Other cool rules include 'Save Yourself', 'Always Ask', 'Have Opinions', 'See Lots of Movies' and 'Always keep in mind how you feel, not how he feels'.

I think the worst rule in the book is 'Have a cleaning person come in as often as you can afford'. For me, this pushes the boundaries into `spoiled brat' territory. If a single woman (or man) cannot manage to clean their own living quarters, then they need a huge reality check. I've never understood how getting a cleaner (i.e. a poorer woman) to do your chores for you contributes in any way to the feminist cause. Wurtzel writes 'it is no virtue to do menial, miserable tasks if you can pay someone else to'. In my opinion, doing 'menial, miserable' tasks (which don't take that long if you do them quickly, and aren't 'miserable' if you listen to music or think about other things) is a way of keeping your feet on the ground so you don't become one of these nasty people snapping at sales assistants and with a totally unrealistic view of the real world.

Another problem with the book is that it is full of contradictions. Wurtzel encourages women to enjoy their single years, but also stipulates that women should 'settle down, because having a family is a happy thing'. Wurtzel encourages women to have their own points of view and then orders them to only wear the men's Levi 501 style jeans, even if they make your thighs look fat. Wurtzel encourages women to eat dessert, have pets and know about the world, and then says that one reason for doing this is that men find these qualities attractive. In this area, the book seems rather confused, because Wurtzel talks about women being liberated and doing their own thing, but then uses it in the context of attracting men.

Overall, the book is entertaining to read and has some useful advice, but it's not good value for money and a lot of the suggestions seem a bit arbitrary and, in certain cases, contradictory.

8 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars A disappointment, August 13, 2006

By	M. Karam "Michelle K" (White Plains, NY) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

Before reading this book, I was a big Wurtzel fan. In Prozac Nation, I finished the book feeling like I had a fair idea of who she was. I respected her. This book revealed to me that she is not at all what I'd formerly imagined. I got the feeling that this work was something she through together just for the purpose of making a few bucks and having another title under her belt. It is unlike not only Prozac Nation but all her other titles. I noticed a number of contradictions within this work. Personally, I was uninterested in taking any of her "advice" which I felt was lacking sincerity. There were also generalizations made by Wurtzel about women which I thought isolate were untrue, unfair, and far from feminist. If this book hadn't been written by Wurtzel, I'd most likely have stopped reading it midway. The only reason I completed it is because I was a fan of hers. I expected better.

13 of 16 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars By far, not "radical", January 14, 2005

By	Ksuzy (Oklahoma) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Radical Sanity : Commonsense Advice for Uncommon Women (Paperback)

I opened up this book not knowing what to expect, and was surprised at first how empowering it seemed on the surface. Some of the advice is actually worthy of praise, for example, she encourages women to ask questions and learn more about the world and to have opinions about things-- in other words, to use our brains and our voices! She also encourages women not to be afraid to indulge in life by doing things such as eating dessert and not being afraid to let the men clean up after a dinner party. Where the book starts to fall apart, however, is when she starts to suggest that in order to "be gorgeous," women should have some make-up on and should be pleasing to look at (in order not to offend those around them), and that to be fulfilled, a woman should fall in love and settle down. It's not that there's anything wrong with these things, but these are not radical ideas-- in fact, they fall very much in line with traditional advice-- and they may not be for everyone and these chapters don't seem to fit with the rest of the book, as the former chapters were vague enough to fit most women's lifestyles and choices. Was she running out of ideas on things to write about or was she that locked in to one path to happiness? We didn't need another book aimed at young women that claims to contain some secret to life so that when they try to live up to it and fail, they feel guilty and miserable, unaware of the rich options available out there.