Most Helpful Customer Reviews
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26 of 27 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
It's kindness but it's also empathy, networking, and other well-known good ideas, September 27, 2006
This is a sprightly, and brief, book that can be read practically at one sitting. Thaler and Kaplan know how to tell a good anecdote. The one that sticks with me is about Thaler's college music-composition professor telling her she had no talent for writing atonal, avant-garde music and should stick to "jingles": the result was a wildly successful career in advertising.
A lot of the advice here is of the "kindergarten" variety but is still invaluable. Tell the truth. Give other people the credit that is due them. Put yourself in the other person's place.
Actually, only a small portion of the advice here would strictly fall in the category of being "nice" just for the sake of being nice and doing the right thing just because it's right. Some examples: It is better not to fire people via e-mail. One should respect all human beings, whether they are security guards, CEOs, or panhandlers. That's called being "nice," or what Yiddish speakers used to say was simply being a "mensch."
Other pieces of advice here are more clearly strategic. Certainly it pays to cultivate friends and contacts: we hear once again the story about Bill Clinton shaking everyone's hand on the ship on the way to his Rhodes Scholarship at Oxford, telling them he hoped to be president of the United States some day. As many other business and pop-psychology writers have noted, listening is generally far preferable to speaking at one-on-one business meetings because the other person responds well to a meeting at which he is talking. Stay positive in a political or other campaign if you can; no one really likes hearing negative pitches all the time.
With that caveat -- that some of the advice is good but standard business-book thinking -- I can give this book four stars. It's really a nice book.
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29 of 31 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Good book, Poor cover, October 8, 2006
Stuck in LA . Flight delayed,Desperate for a short but useful book. The last book I would normally pick is one with a smiley face. Glad I did. The book's Big Idea: we are all connected and when we do one nice thing it spreads and rebounds---in often very unexpected ways---to our benefit. Useful examples on how helping supposed enemies is often good business; insightful ideas on treating today's adversaries like tomorrow's allies; unconvential tactics on moving your frames from "no" to "yes". By the time the flight was ready to board, the book read through---a lot wiser. What they say about books and their covers, so true.
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21 of 23 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Honey or Vinegar: which would you choose?, February 11, 2007
Walking through the down town train terminal in Melbourne to catch the 12:15 p.m. `rocket train' to Bendigo, a gold rush town of 19th century Australia, which still manages to carry on and exist despite our states current lack of water, to see an old friend from my university days; trying to kill time, came across this extraordinary book. Short in length, the book's content strangely connecting to a conversation about business with a friend the night before, I decided to buy the text and read it on my two hour journey...excellent.
As the two successful advertising business women claim, to be `nice' is much more powerful than the age-old capitalist strategies in business: intimidation, arrogance, intrigue and a conscience capability to `make the kill' has always been the mark of any successful person or company. What Thaler and Koval have discovered is that basic good manners, being cordial, friendly, and unconsciously kind, will bring in more business than the other.
The author's give the reader many examples of `nice' over arrogance, kindness over aggression, but the most simple and compelling anecdote was the story about their buildings security guard, Frank.
Frank is a larger than life human being who, everyday, meets the NYC workers that move hurriedly to the elevator in search of that first cup of coffee or unfinished presentation. Good old Frank always greets each person with a big grin and a heartfelt `Good Morning'. This greeting is sincere and as time moved along, the workers' for the authors advertising business felt better in the morning and wittled it down to the fact that Frank was the reason (or part of the reason for their change of attitude in the mornings) and began to change their own approaches to business as a result.
The most interesting aspect of this story is that Frank won them one of their biggest accounts, an airline of international distinction. As the anecdote goes, the out-of-town- execs were a little edgy about coming to NYC, as its reputation, in terms of rudeness, is world renown. The execs entered the building and old Frank was there standing guard at the elevator, smiling, hand extended, welcoming them to NYC and the Kaplan Thaler Group. As the author's note, the presentation had been good, but the airlines comments, that if a company had a man likes Frank at their front door, they must be on the ball - the Thaler Kaplan Group won the account.
In life and business kindness and niceness goes a long way; and if consciously practiced, might have huge beneficial outcomes.
Good manners, please and thank you, listening with intent, honesty, put up with, and are nice to, those that irritate;
try to keep the focus of conversation away from yourself, listen with even more intent, give little gifts, chocolates or sweet items that can be eaten without guilt;
Swallow your ego from time to time and let it go, giving something you love to someone else that needs it more;
Compliment but with sincerity, smile, smile and smile again even though you don't feel like it because, more than likely, by forcing those lips to curve, you'll feel happy.
Attempt to feel what the other person is feeling, `walking a few steps in their sandals', and your point of view will change and you'll perhaps develop a bigger picture...
Thaler & Koval did not write this book to make a lot of cash. (Though they have because the advice is true and practical) Though, to be fair, being nice to someone will get you a lot further than neglect or arrogance.
One of the central lessons in this text, (one of the many) is that people remember acts of kindness and acts of selfishness and cruelty. One day you might be sitting in front of a potential employer, wanting the job, but in the past, you were not nice or even cruel to them or to someone they know. Guess what? Next?
I liked this book because its tenets are true and work in the day to day world.
To be nice or kind if you are not used to being so, like basketball, guitar or golf, takes practice to achieve any level of competency.
This book is age old advice, like a seasoned mature wine packaged in a brand new bottle...timeless and worthwhile.
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