Join Amazon Prime and ship Two-Day for free and Overnight for $3.99. Already a member? Sign in.

 

or
Sign in to turn on 1-Click ordering.
 
 
More Buying Choices
58 used & new from $4.06

Have one to sell? Sell yours here
 
   
The Body Never Lies: The Lingering Effects of Cruel Parenting
 
 
Tell the Publisher!
I’d like to read this book on Kindle

Don’t have a Kindle? Get yours here.
 
  

The Body Never Lies: The Lingering Effects of Cruel Parenting (Hardcover)

by Alice Miller (Author), Andrew Jenkins (Translator) "FREQUENTLY, PHYSICAL ILLNESSES are the body's response to permanent disregard of its vital functions..." (more)
Key Phrases: enlightened witness, poisonous pedagogy, genuine communication, Virginia Woolf, Marcel Proust, Saddam Hussein (more...)
4.4 out of 5 stars See all reviews (9 customer reviews)

List Price: $23.95
Price: $17.96 & eligible for FREE Super Saver Shipping on orders over $25. Details
You Save: $5.99 (25%)
In Stock.
Ships from and sold by Amazon.com. Gift-wrap available.

33 new from $7.97 24 used from $4.06 1 collectible from $23.99

Frequently Bought Together

The Body Never Lies: The Lingering Effects of Cruel Parenting + The Truth Will Set You Free: Overcoming Emotional Blindness and Finding Your True Adult Self + The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self
Price For All Three: $47.72

Show availability and shipping details


Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought

The Untouched Key: Tracing Childhood Trauma in Creativity and Destructiveness

The Untouched Key: Tracing Childhood Trauma in Creativity and Destructiveness

by Alice Miller
4.2 out of 5 stars (6)  $11.16
Banished Knowledge: Facing Childhood Injuries

Banished Knowledge: Facing Childhood Injuries

by Alice Miller
3.9 out of 5 stars (14)  $11.16
Paths of Life: Seven Scenarios

Paths of Life: Seven Scenarios

by Alice Miller
5.0 out of 5 stars (5)  $13.95
For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence

For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence

by Alice Miller
4.9 out of 5 stars (21)  $10.88
Thou Shalt Not Be Aware: Society's Betrayal of the Child

Thou Shalt Not Be Aware: Society's Betrayal of the Child

by Alice Miller
4.4 out of 5 stars (9)  $10.88
Explore similar items

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly
In her latest vehement treatise, Swiss psychoanalyst Miller (The Drama of the Gifted Child) reprises her classic critiques of filial duty. In her view, our culture systematically denies childhood abuse sufferers access to their true feelings. Repressed emotional responses to early humiliations and unfulfilled needs are inevitably transferred to the body, Miller believes, producing long-term illness. She also believes that the majority of therapists are bent on fostering an attitude of forgiveness. Miller instead urges the reader to reappraise the substance of the Fourth Commandment, which she construes as containing "a kind of moral blackmail" and, reflecting on her own unhappy childhood, argues that what survivors of parental cruelty need most is someone who shares their feelings of indignation. Miller traces the relationship between inadequate or tyrannical parenting and adult bodily illness, depression and suicide in pithy biographies of Dostoyevski, Chekhov, Kafka, Virginia Woolf, James Joyce and many others. Yet Miller is more a subjective observer and a guru than a social scientist. Her highly personal, undertheorized and generalizing approach will strike some as simplistic, yet those who loyally follow her child-centered philosophy will probably find much to enjoy in the conviction with which she writes. (May)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Product Description
Never before has Alice Miller examined so persuasively how parental cruelty leads to long-term physical illness.

World-renowned psychoanalyst Alice Miller has devoted a lifetime to studying how the cruelties inflicted on us as children cripple us as adults. In this new work, Miller goes further, investigating the long-range consequences of childhood abuse on the body—be it cancer, stroke, or other debilitating illnesses. Using the experiences of her patients along with the biographical stories of literary giants such as Virginia Woolf, Franz Kafka, and Marcel Proust, Miller shows how a child's humiliation, impotence, and bottled rage will manifest itself as adult illness. Never one to shy away from controversy, Miller urges society as a whole to jettison its belief in the Fourth Commandment and not to extend forgiveness to parents whose tyrannical child-rearing methods have resulted in unhappy, and often ruined, adult lives. This is an empowering work that enables readers to come to terms with their repressed emotions and break the cycle of violence.

See all Editorial Reviews


Product Details

  • Hardcover: 224 pages
  • Publisher: W.W. Norton & Co. (May 2, 2005)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0393060659
  • ISBN-13: 978-0393060652
  • Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.5 x 1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars See all reviews (9 customer reviews)
  • Amazon.com Sales Rank: #76,198 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

    Popular in these categories: (What's this?)

    #37 in  Books > Parenting & Families > Family Relationships > Child Abuse
    #44 in  Books > Health, Mind & Body > Psychology & Counseling > Physiological Aspects

Inside This Book (learn more)


What Do Customers Ultimately Buy After Viewing This Item?


Tags Customers Associate with This Product

 (What's this?)
Click on a tag to find related items, discussions, and people.
Check the boxes next to the tags you consider relevant or enter your own tags in the field below.

Your tags: Add your first tag
 
Help others find this product — tag it for Amazon search
No one has tagged this product for Amazon search yet. Why not be the first to suggest a search for which it should appear?

Sell a Digital Version of This Book in the Kindle Store

If you are a publisher or author and hold the digital rights to a book, you can sell a digital version of it in our Kindle Store. Learn more

 

Customer Reviews

9 Reviews
5 star:
 (7)
4 star:
 (1)
3 star:    (0)
2 star:    (0)
1 star:
 (1)
 
 
 
 
 
Average Customer Review
4.4 out of 5 stars (9 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
Share your thoughts with other customers:
Most Helpful Customer Reviews

 
59 of 60 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Exciting, life-changing reading experience, May 3, 2005
Alice Miller's "The Body Never Lies" is a provocation for those who are intent on denying that there is a relationship between how children are being treated and how they, later as adults, live their lives. They will fight against this book with those sad beliefs, which they learned in their childhoods and never questioned or left behind. But for those, for whom these connections are a fact and who are willing to explore their own past, their own lives and childhood suffering, this book provides great relief, even liberation.
On her life journey of research and writing, Alice Miller has gained great inner freedom and strength. In `The Body Never Lies', she courageously questions traditional morality and inspires us to face the often life long pain that children suffer through their parents. Her profound insights into this vital relationship create a truthful vision of man and his coercion to be destructive and self-destructive. Her visionary humanity leads the way into a new era, where the source of needless human suffering is movingly and powerfully recognized.
Like in an invisible jail, the fourth command confines many people into untruthful relationships with their parents, from which they often suffer. Abused and disrespected in childhood, they strive, still during their adult lives, to reach and even please cruel parents, who do not wish to understand and support them, who do not care about their well-being.
As long as they are under the spell of this command, they also often suffer in similar ways in other close relationships, denying their truth and reality like they had to as children with their parents. But there is a powerful witness to the suffering we endure through hypocritical, painful relationships--our body. Although we are trained to follow those moralistic expectations to honor our parents, no matter how they have treated us as children or treat us now as adults--the body refuses to do so. Again and again, it tries to communicate the tragic experiences that we carry hidden inside, in the unconscious. Alice Miller invites us to listen to and understand our bodies and ourselves with love by moving away from the destructive command that we must honor those who cause us harm and hurt us.
Comment Comment (1) | Permalink | Was this review helpful to you? Yes No (Report this)



 
42 of 42 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars This book changed my life, March 17, 2006
By Explorer (Seattle, WA United States) - See all my reviews
After coasting through the past ten years in a fog of depression and unfulfilling relationships, I started seeing a counselor who recommended this book to me. I'm not exaggerating when I say it changed my life. Alice Miller argues that as children, we are often instructed to "honor" our parents and win their love by suppressing our genuine feelings - especially the hurt and anger we naturally feel in response to abuse. Society reinforces this belief by idealizing parents and discouraging us from telling the truth about what we experienced as children. However, this suppression has a poisonous effect on the body and mind (and society as a whole). As much as we try to hide those feelings, they make themselves known through various kinds of suffering, both emotional and physical.

Miller argues that once we are allowed to give voice to our true feelings and offer some compassion to ourselves - rather than the facade we have created to please others, namely our parents - then that real self no longer has to cry for attention through the suffering of our bodies and minds. This turned out to be very true for me. I feel that I can now be honest with myself and others without fearing rejection and loss of love. I highly recommend this book and Miller's other offerings to anyone dealing with depression, childhood abuse, or feelings of general emptiness and dissatisfaction.

**After recently re-reading this book, I would probably remove one star from my rating due to Miller's pure speculation in Part I, in which she deconstructs the writings and life stories of famous authors and artists. This section can also be slow and might be difficult for some readers to get through.

I also wish that she (or the translator) had broadened her definition of abuse. She frequently uses the term "beatings" to summarize the harm children can suffer at the hands of their parents. But mental and emotional abuse can be just as detrimental to a child's development and self-image, and readers who experienced such should not discount the impact of their own experiences. However, Miller's overall argument is so powerful that I can't help but recommend the book despite its flaws.
Comment Comment | Permalink | Was this review helpful to you? Yes No (Report this)



 
36 of 38 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars A decisive new chapter, May 8, 2005
By Io (Pacific Northwest) - See all my reviews
I feel that this book is actually stronger than Alice Miller's last two efforts ("Breaking Down The Wall of Silence" and "The Truth Will Set you Free.") I have read all of her books thus far, and was very delighted to page through this new encounter. I have never seen the concept that our emotions, and the 'scars' left by abuse don't simply exist in a little part of our brains; but are found in all the cells of our body, and that in this inextricable link, illnesses can occur when things go wrong. I need only to look back to the way my own body has reacted to deception and cruelty to see how true this is.

In her chapter titled 'Carousel,' she revisits, in a way, the fascinating passage in 'Banished Knowledge' where she discussed coming across the poisonous story of little children and the accusative santa clause. This is, in my feeling, one of the best assets of her prose; the ability to make links based on a single experience. The case histories of authors she provides are not the in-depth ones of her earlier books; and indeed, that is exactly what she intended; to spark the readers interest in these biographies and how the writers experienced their abuse which led to the destruction of their bodies.

The chapter she wrote on anorexia was actually very enlightening; she really said something important in those pages, and I think her 'fictional diary' was really effective. The relationship to food and emotional nourishment seems quite valid. After reading her book, I really do agree with the premises that "the body never lies," and "deception kills love." I can see more clearly that sacrificing oneself towards the 'benefit' of one's parents is really a destructive, black hole that people who fall in can never truly meet with any form of life or vitality unless they escape it.
Comment Comment | Permalink | Was this review helpful to you? Yes No (Report this)


Share your thoughts with other customers: Create your own review
 
 
Most Recent Customer Reviews

4.0 out of 5 stars Uncovering hidden trauma's
Alice Miller has a point when she says that with the 4th commandment in the Bible, parents have the approval to dominate over their children and demand honor and respect. Read more
Published 21 months ago by GJ van Leuven

5.0 out of 5 stars it makes sense
This book helps me make sense of the illnesses stalking me and my family.
Published on January 21, 2007 by Maureen A. Doyle

5.0 out of 5 stars looking in a mirror
if you are not sure where some of your very icky behavior comes from, this book is a must
Published on March 15, 2006 by J. E. Rifkin

1.0 out of 5 stars Should Have Been a 20-Page Undergraduate Paper
I bought this book based on its 5-star rating and feel I wasted my money. That's how I REALLY feel, authentically. Read more
Published on January 7, 2006 by Youth Services Librarian

5.0 out of 5 stars Stark Reality
I am most fond of what Alice Miller has to say about the brutalities of all too many parents' subtle and savage abuses against their children or more than likely, their selected... Read more
Published on November 27, 2005 by Arden Beyer

5.0 out of 5 stars Alice Miller Never Lies
"The Body Never Lies" is the most recent volume in one of psychology's most important collections. Dr. Read more
Published on May 11, 2005 by Stephen Khamsi

Only search this product's reviews



Customer Discussions

 Beta (What's this?)
New! See all customer communities, and bookmark your communities to keep track of them.
This product's forum (0 discussions)
  Discussion Replies Latest Post
  No discussions yet

Ask questions, Share opinions, Gain insight
Start a new discussion
Topic:
First post:
Prompts for sign-in
  [Cancel]


   


Product Information from the Amapedia Community

Beta (What's this?)



Look for Similar Items by Category


Get Within Reach

Shop for extension cords

Expand your power options with an extension cord. Get the cord type, indoor or outdoor, in the length you need in Lighting & Electrical.

Shop all extension cords

 

Big Savings in Books

Bargain Books
Find great titles at fantastic prices in our Bargain Books Store.
 

Buy Three Books, Get a Fourth Free

4-for-3 Books
Order any four eligible books under $10 and get the lowest-price book free in our 4-for-3 Books Store. See more details.
 

Best Books

Best of the Month
See our editors' picks and more of the best new books on our Best of the Month page.
 

 

Feedback

If you need help or have a question for Customer Service, contact us.
 Would you like to update product info or give feedback on images?
Is there any other feedback you would like to provide?

Your comments can help make our site better for everyone.


Where's My Stuff?

Shipping & Returns

Need Help?

Your Recent History

  (What's this?)
You have no recently viewed items or searches.

After viewing product detail pages or search results, look here to find an easy way to navigate back to pages you are interested in.

Look to the right column to find helpful suggestions for your shopping session.

Continue shopping: Top Sellers
Paranoia
Paranoia by Joseph Finder
Glenn Beck's Common Sense
Finger Lickin' Fifteen
Finger Lickin' Fifteen by Janet Evanovich
My Soul to Lose
My Soul to Lose by Rachel Vincent

Conditions of Use | Privacy Notice © 1996-2009, Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates