Facing Shame: Families in Recovery (Paperback)

by Merle A. Fossum (Author), Marilyn J. Mason (Author) "When Cal and Judy appeared for their first therapy appointment they were the embodiment of middle-class success..." (more)
Key Phrases: zipper metaphor, calm quadrant, respectful system, New York, Harvard University Press, Alcoholics Anonymous (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Review
A sensitive book, rich in understanding. . . . As the authors teach us how to fill the emotional void that shame creates—providing a positive therapeutic alternative to the blame-shame game—they also fill a void that has long existed in the field.  —M. Duncan Stanton, Ph.D., Professor and Director, Division of Family Programs, University of Rochester Medical School (M. Duncan Stanton, Ph.D. )

Product Description
Familes that return for therapy many times have problems that seem unrelated--such as compulsive, addictive or abusive behaviors--but are linked by an underlying process of shame. Comparing the shame-bound family system with the respectful family system, Fossum and Mason outline the assumptions underlying their deft approach to family therapy and take the reader step-by-step through the stages of therapy.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 208 pages
• Publisher: W.W. Norton & Co.; 1 edition (May 17, 1989)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0393305813
• ISBN-13: 978-0393305814
• Product Dimensions: 8.1 x 5.4 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 7 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars See all reviews (9 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #97,727 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

39 of 39 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Broad overview to understand the many origins of shame, October 7, 1999

By A Customer

Shame has a myriad of origins, this book gives an excellentunderstanding of shame and its effect upon our lives. It helps us todifferentiate the important difference between guilt and shame. Shame deeply effects our self esteem as well as how we view others and eventually our success in life. John Bradshaw, who is also an excellent writer, in his book regarding shame mostly limits his approach to those from alcoholic families. In this book, not only is this area covered but many other areas along with the developmental dynamics of shame and shame-based behaviors. Not coming from an alcoholic family I did not understand my own deep feelings of shame until I read this book. I highly recommend it for any persons who wish to understand themselves better on their road to becoming a more complete, self-accepting and healthy person.

22 of 22 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Skill and insight are used in uncovering the power of shame, March 19, 1997

By A Customer

The authors bring a great deal of experience, insight and skill in walking the reader through the dynamics of shame. In an unassuming manner, the book explains various phases and manifestations of shame within a family context. Patterns of behaviors are examined and linked to those of other family members and even other generations. I enjoyed how the authors did not saturate the book with case studies, instead they used them sparingly and effectively. This is an in-depth yet readable text on a painful and powerful topic

14 of 15 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Enlightening and Sad, March 28, 2002

By A Customer

This book is an enlightening first step in understanding a spouse who is driven by perfectionism, anger and control. Reading the book makes you realize it's not their fault -- or yours either. (This does not make their behavior less destructive, but it's easier when you stop blaming them for it.) The person from this type of family does not have the self-awareness to recognize their own destructive impulses, much less develop the skills they need to have healthy relationships. It's like they are pre-programmed to destroy relationships with family and business partners. After reading this book, you realize that you, alone, cannot help your spouse, and if you keep trying to do it alone, you will only become more frustrated and heartbroken. It is a good guideline to begin therapy with a good family counselor, which I believe is the only way to break the cycle.