Families apart: 10 keys to successful co-parenting (Paperback)

by Melinda Blau (Author) "Ten years ago, I stood weak-kneed behind a table in a small, dusty courtroom in New York City, anxiously fingering a fifty-eight-page separation agreementthe blueprint..." (more)
Key Phrases: nondivorced homes, parenting coalition, family court services, New York, Judith Wallerstein, Isolina Ricci (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly
Today, up to an estimated 50% of children of divorce suffer lingering depression, difficulty forming healthy relationships and other psychological sequelae. But according to Blau ( Parenting by Heart ) this need not be so. Divorce does not end a family, argues the author, who prefers the term "family apart" over the more common (and more negative) "broken home." Based on questionnaires and interviews with 112 adults and 34 children, this study suggests how families can successfully cope with divorce and create a new environment in which children can develop "normally"--and even thrive--by following these 10 commandments of co-parenting: heal yourself; act maturely; listen to your children; respect your ex as a parent; divide parenting time; acknowledge your differences; communicate; step out of gender roles; recognize and accept change; and know that co-parenting "is forever." The case histories of "families apart" will show readers that life after divorce need not be marked by continuing trauma. Author tour.
Copyright 1993 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Library Journal
Families Apart deals with the difficult relationships between divorced spouses, their children, and their extended families. Because these relationships last a lifetime and are critical to the well-being of the children, Blau feels that much can be done to create harmonious (or at least civil) patterns for continued contact between ex-spouses. She promotes one solution: co-parenting, which "involves both parents' unremitting dedication to their children's care . . . regardless of legal documents, living arrangements, or allocation of time." To make co-parenting effective, divorced spouses must put aside their personal acrimony and work together for the good of the children. The models presented, while certainly worthy ideals to strive toward, require extensive cooperation and good will, which may in reality be difficult to achieve. Nevertheless, many families should find this useful. For public library collections.
- Kay Brodie, Chesa peake Coll., Wye Mills, Md.
Copyright 1994 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 352 pages
• Publisher: Perigee Trade; 1st Perigee Ed edition (January 1, 1995)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 039952150X
• ISBN-13: 978-0399521508
• Product Dimensions: 7.9 x 4.8 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #368,266 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

30 of 30 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Strategies to help kids and move ahead in your own life, May 28, 1996

By A Customer

Divorce ends a marriage, not a family. This book--which is based on divorce research of the last fifteen years and the strategies reported by successful co-parents--is the only parenting guide specfically targeted to divorced parents. Research is conclusive: continued conflict harms kids and so does the lost of a parent. This book can help you minimize both those risk factors. It contains strategies for dealing with your pain and moving ahead in your own life and for helping your children through the crisis

12 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent reading for all divorcing parents, September 14, 1998

By A Customer

This book has helped us focus on what it takes for successful co-parenting. It is an excellent resource for all divorcing parents to return to when they are feeling overwhelmed or frustrated with their ex-spouse - this book will help them refocus on what is important - the happiness of the children.

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars An important investment for your kids, January 5, 2002

By	SuperDougio (United States) - See all my reviews

Melinda Blau is not a family therapist or psychiatrist, she is a journalist and co-parent. The real strength of this excellent text is that, although she is a successful divorced co-parent herself, she resists the urge to preach her own views on this difficult and important topic, instead reflecting many hours of research and interviews in a wealth of real-life examples and illustrative anecdotes, providing a comforting sense that one is not the first to encounter the challenges of raising kids successfully while living apart, and giving practical and balanced advice. Essential for both parents.