The Real Truth About Teens and Sex: From Hooking Up to Friends with Benefits -- What Teens Are Thinking, Doing, andTalking About, and How to Help Them Make Smart Choices (Hardcover)

~ Sabrina Weill (Author) "Many parents have confessed to me that, at some point, they have experienced a nearly irrepressible urge to rifle through their teen's backpack..." (more)
Key Phrases: Talk the Talk, National Campaign, Prevent Teen Pregnancy (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Hooking up: two teenagers meeting at the mall, or having drunken sex at a party shortly after meeting for the first time? Both, actually. And the central activity at a "chicken party" couldn't be performed by anything with a beak. Weill, former editor of Seventeen, seeks to demystify these and other steamy topics in her third book on teens and sex. Writing for parents and educators, Weill preaches communication and education as keys to staving off unwanted pregnancies, health problems and other pitfalls of becoming prematurely sexually active. Her advice is practical, but the suggested dialogues she provides can come off as Pollyanna. ("I want you to promise me you won't fool around with someone when either you or the guy or the girl have been drinking.") Peppered with survey and sexual health factoids-42 percent of 15-year-olds know someone who's had sex at home while their parents were in the house, and 29 percent of 12 - 17-year-olds think that someone who does everything but have sex is not a virgin-parents looking for insight into what goes on in their kids' beds can find plenty of answers here, though some may be hesitant to take a magazine editor's advice.
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Product Description

A top editor at major teen magazines for more than a decade, Sabrina Weill has earned the trust of millions of teens across the country. Through thousands of letters, e-mails, and interviews, and now in an exclusive nationwide survey, teens have confided in her, voicing their questions, fears, and concerns-and providing front-line reports on what really goes on at parties, at school, before parents get home from work, online, and elsewhere.

For the first time, Weill reveals what teens have told her-and offers parents and other concerned adults insights into how to communicate with young people so they'll listen, open up, and think before they act.

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 240 pages
• Publisher: Perigee Trade (September 6, 2005)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 039953198X
• ISBN-13: 978-0399531989
• Product Dimensions: 9 x 5.9 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #337,349 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

5 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Mandatory Reading for parents of teens!, August 14, 2006

By	Nancy L. Brown (Palo Alto, CA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This review is from: The Real Truth About Teens and Sex : From Hooking Up to Friends with Benefits -- What Teens Are Thinking, Doing, andTalking About, and How to Help Them Make Smart Choices (Hardcover)

I loved this book and wish all parents would read it! Ms. Weill had my complete attention when she started out by saying that "teens nationwide are suffering from a lack of honest communication from their parents and other pivotal adults around them..." She later says that it is dangerous to rely on schools to provide sex education and that parents have to be the primary educators of their children. She is confident that despite the horrified looks on their faces when we bring it up, teens want to talk about sexuality with adults they trust - and that they want adults to know what is going on. Teens are vulnerable emotionally and physically and susceptible to regret as their feelings emerge after sex. We can help them avoid those situations in which "sex just happens" and the consequences that follow.

Far from inducing fear, Ms. Weill constantly reassures parents that research shows talking to kids about sexuality does not make them have sex earlier and that there are positive trends reported by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) suggesting youth are having less intercourse as well as using more contraception, and that there was 30% less teen pregnancy between 1994 and 2004. She is matter of fact about the risks of the Internet, early sex, pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections, but never lets parents off the hook. The more parents know, the better equipped they will be to help their teens avoid "sexual risks" including sexually transmitted infections and pregnancy.

Ms. Weill reminds parents throughout this book that we [adults] have the power to have an enormous influence on the behavior of our teens and although I cannot endorse her statement that "teens should be pulling away from adults" I do agree that they need to take on more responsibility and that they still need our supervision and guidance. Teens need to know that 66% of teens and 81% of 12 - 14 year olds regret their first sexual experience and parents and teens need to know that teens have the knowledge and strength to "make good decisions."

Parents being in denial will not help and it will undermine our relationships and make them superficial. I appreciate the fact that Ms. Weill respects youth and is very clear that sifting through their emails or reading a diary or blog is a major invasion of privacy and it will take a long time to rebuild the trust and credibility lost by the action. There is no substitute for putting the time into developing a strong and positive relationship with our child!

Parents need to be able to talk honestly with their children about sexual rights, pleasure, and risk. Teens need to know that it feels good to be excited, but that sexuality should be protected, consensual and planned with someone they love to feel great. For parents who do not think they can talk easily with their kids, Ms. Weill includes resources and wonderful examples throughout the book and there is even a discussion about developing a safety plan with your teen.

My favorite quote from this book is "good parenting is always inconvenient for the parent."

4 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A must read for parents of teens, January 18, 2006

By	L.B. "Mother of young teens" (Sarasota, FL) - See all my reviews

This book explains it all in regards to what is going on with our children today. I think parents of pre-teens also should read this to prepare for what is ahead. It was a real eye-opener because all the information came directly from teens.I keep it as a reference for talking to the kids and also to understand what some of their slang words are really meaning.

4 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A must read for anyone working with Teens, January 11, 2006

By	K. Maistros - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

A fabulous, well-written book with practical and sound advice for anyone who cares about teens and their sexual and mental health. It's great to get hard, accurate data about what teens are thinking and how to get through to them. Especially helpful are the sections "Your teen will listen if you say this".