It's My Life Now : Starting Over After an Abusive Relationship or Domestic Violence (Paperback)

by Meg Kennedy Dugan (Author), Roger R. Hock (Author) "If a couple tells you they never disagree, never argue, never fight, you have to assume one of two things: One, they aren't being completely..." (more)
Key Phrases: Managing Your Stress, Practical Considerations, The Temptation (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Product Description
This text is for women who have recently left an abusive relationship and are attempting to face the challenge of putting their lives back together. During this difficult period, women who have managed to leave the relationship are faced with the scary and daunting prospect of living independently, rebuilding self-esteem and self-worth, and learning how to establish healthy relationships in the future. Many are tempted to return to the abuser and have to mend or re-establish relationships with friends or family. This book provides accessible practical information on how to protect yourself once you've left the relationship, how to get through the difficult emotions that accompany leaving an abusive relationship, and includes exercises that are designed to help women monitor their emotional progress as they get further away from their old relationships.

About the Author
Meg Kennedy Dugan is Director of Counseling Services at New England College in New Hampshire. As a therapist for over 15 years, she has counseled many survivors of relationship abuse and domestic violence.

Roger R. Hock is Professor of Psychology at Mendocino College in California and the author of Forty Studies that Changed Psychology: Explorations Into the History of Psychological Research.

Product Details

• Paperback: 272 pages
• Publisher: Routledge; 1 edition (April 2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0415923581
• ISBN-13: 978-0415923583
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.5 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 10.6 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars See all reviews (13 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #516,181 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

87 of 87 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A gem--very comprehensive, April 21, 2002

By	Jill Barrett (Independence, VA United States) - See all my reviews

This book has been very helpful to me in recovering from an abusive marriage. In fact, if you only have the money for one "recovery from abuse" book, this one is the one to get. It covers every type of abuse, even spiritual abuse, which was very relevant to my experiences in a bizarre cultic marriage in which I was beaten over the head with the Bible and told to "submit" all the time. The tone that the book is written in is wonderful. It is neither "oh, you poor pathetic baby" or "get over it, toots" but strikes exactly the right tone--empowering and empathetic but not patronizing or overbearing.

The book helps you not only analyze what happened to you and why, but gets you into the healing process. This book helped me quit beating myself up for ending up with and staying with an abuser (and having SIX children with him into the bargain), for still having feelings for my abusive husband, and for being tempted to go back. Some of the exercises at the end of the chapters were kind of silly, and I skipped them, but some were excellent. The exercise that helped me the most was the one that helped me to look back and remember why I fell in love with that chump to begin with. It WASN'T because I am brainless.

The absolute best thing about this book, in my opinion, is the final chapter. Prior to reading it, I had no idea how in the world I managed to marry an abusive control freak and was scared to death of getting hooked by another one. This chapter really helped me feel capable of choosing another partner who is not abusive. The author tells you exactly what danger signs to look for. I missed every one of them the first time, but I won't miss them again!

33 of 33 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Just what I need, August 2, 2001

By	Victoria Sarinelli (Buenos Aires, BA Argentina) - See all my reviews

I'm reading this book right now, and I felt it was written just for me. Believe me, if you are coming out of any kind of abusive relationship (remember, it does not have to get to the point of physical abuse to be abusive), this book will help you deal with your loss and your recovery. I broke up with whom I thought was the love of my life 2 months ago. Been through hell. I too thought it was insane to love and miss so much a person who was constantly putting me down and hurting me in many ways. It had to stop. But once you're out, STAYING out could be pretty tough. It sure is for me. This book is guiding me through the loss I'm suffering and so far it's been THE GREATEST help I received. It's been like reading my soul. I need to THANK the authors, you've helped a great deal.

34 of 36 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars It Is Helpful, Plain and Simple, May 1, 2002

By	Marifrances (United States) - See all my reviews

This book is the kind of instructional manual that every woman escaping from an abuser needs to read. Every thought, fear, or impulse an abused woman may have is discussed in this very calm, very helpful book.

The authors don't shy away from the darker stuff, and they write in a very straightforward, no-nonsense fashion. Yet the book leaves the reader with an undeniable sense of hope and excitement, as this book makes the reader realize that a new, better life is possible.