Ten thousand years before the first word of history was written, the first audio book was created by Og, brother of Nogg and Plogg, son of Vog and Noog, grandson of Zogg and Heather. Og was a born storyteller frustrated that paper had not yet been invented. He wrote his first book on slabs of wood, burning the words and pictures into the surface with sharp pieces of stone superheated in fire fed by Wooly Mammoth fat. He is credited by some with inventing the words "hot," "ouch," "S***," "***k," "D**n," and "************," as well as the exclamation point.

Because he was both writing and manufacturing his novel, Og was a writer-publisher, the first known hyphenate. Also being one of the first to suffer from multiple-personality syndrome, the writer in him hired another aspect of himself to serve as his agent, which deeply annoyed the part of him that was a publisher. In vigorous negotiations conducted with rocks, clubs, sharpened Mammoth bones, and primitive squirt guns full of blinding viper venom, Og the Agent won for Og th