The Journey from Abandonment to Healing: Turn the End of a Relationship into the Beginning of a New Life (Paperback)

by Susan Anderson (Author) "WHEN a relationship ends, it is painful for both people, but the pain is especially debilitating for the one left behind..." (more)
Key Phrases: internalizing the rejection, many abandonment survivors, outer child acts, Stage Five, Stage One, Stage Four (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Product Description
Like Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross's groundbreaking On Death and Dying, Susan Anderson's book clearly defines the five phases of a different kind of grieving--grieving over a lost relationship. An experienced professional who has specialized in helping people with loss, heartbreak, and abandonment for more than two decades, Susan Anderson gives this subject the serious attention it deserves. The Journey From Abandonment to Healing is designed to help all victims of emotional breakups--whether they are suffering from a recent loss, or a lingering wound from the past; whether they are caught up in patterns that sabotage their own relationships, or they're in a relationship where they no longer feel loved. From the first stunning blow to starting over, it provides a complete program for abandonment recovery.

"If there can be a pill to cure the heartbreak of rejection, this book may be it."-- Rabbi Harold Kushner, bestselling author of When Bad Things Happen to Good People

In the tradition of Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross's On Death and Dying--but dealing with the grief over the loss of a relationship
Helps readers work through the five universal phases of abandonment: shattering, withdrawal, internalizing, rage, lifting
Includes hands-on exercises for managing pain and rediscovering the capacity for love

About the Author
Susan Anderson, CSW, is a psychotherapist who has specialized in helping clients deal with heartbreak, loss and abandonment for more than 25 years. She has led workshops on abandonment recovery, conducts seminars and lectures, and has appeared on radio and television speaking on the related issues of addiction, parenting and abandonment.

Product Details

• Paperback: 352 pages
• Publisher: Berkley Trade; 1 edition (March 6, 2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0425172287
• ISBN-13: 978-0425172285
• Product Dimensions: 8.1 x 5.3 x 1.1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars See all reviews (34 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #16,627 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

108 of 109 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars From a broken-hearted therapist..., October 24, 2002

By	Donna Carson (New York) - See all my reviews

I wanted to take the time out to write a review of this book as I have benefitted from it from two points of view. I have been a psychotherapist for twenty years and as such have come face to face with the pain of abandonment in many forms. The loss of love through betrayal, death, changed family circumstances, ill health, divorce, etc. It is often the root cause of much of the pain that people present to my office with.
As well, being a person in this world, I too have been abandoned and despite the knowledge I hold as a mental health professional, experienced the full impact of that wrenching, soul-destroying, desperate fear and sadness.
As I reflected on my own loss, I found Susan's book uniquely helpful. It was especially useful to learn about the science of abandonment. It helped me to feel as if I was not loosing my mind and that despite all the information I held as a therapist, as a biological being, some of my experiences were natural and primal and although extremely painful...they were understandable. It gave me a real sense of hope and possibility.
Consequently, I have shared this book with many of my patients. Almost universally they have found it both comforting and helpful as a realistic tool toward healing and change. It is a book that I would not be without in the library of references I use to help others.
There will be times when someone is unable to fully utilize this book. When their fear of being hurt again is so intense that they hold on to the pain of abandonment as a way of never connecting again. A book that truly helps to transform is not embraced by anyone who unconsciously holds on to a wish to remain unchanged.
So, as a practitioner and a survivor, I could not recommend this book more highly!!

43 of 43 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Quality help for abandonment recovery!, July 19, 2004

By A Customer

Dr. Susan Anderson has masterfully articulated the experience of abandonment as only a survivor of abandonment could know. She is a survivor herself. Her book, The Journey From Abandonment To Healing, keeps a gentle, respectful tone towards the survivor, and is easy to understand throughout.

This book clearly articulates what I struggled to put into words about the abandonment symptoms I was experiencing. Abandonment is defined as an involuntary separation. Some symptoms include loss of control of the situation, separation anxiety and yearning for the lost love, hoping for the possibility of the lost love's return and the desparation caused by this desire.

The book also covers in great detail the physiology behind emotional withdrawal symptoms of abandonment, including the loss of opioids (hormones) which is similar to heroin withdrawal; the significance of extreme changes in appetite patterns; Post Traumatic Stress Disorder; memory loss; the desire to self-medicate to endure the loss; and how society acknowledges those grieving over a death but not over a lost love.

Finally, Dr. Anderson gives some effective exercises in overcoming the crippling symptoms of abandonment. The exercises are not "pat" answers as found in some mainstream books and magazines. These are extensive, healing exercises requiring vulnerable, self-introspection.

I hope this helps someone else out there, too. It sure saved my sanity and all for the modest price of a book -- not an expensive block of therapy sessions!

28 of 29 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars An exceptional book about the physiology of abandonment, July 27, 2002

By A Customer

This is a well researched book about how experiences from infancy through childhood are manifested in the brain and affect us as adults. Susan discusses 5 stages in the recovery of abandonment which I can identify with. Her advice in dealing with abandonment is exactly what I have concluded through my own experiences. It's nice to read a book that I can connect to so well. Having read this book, I can better understand the trauma I experienced as a child. It also gives me more hope that someday I will overcome the trauma that I've felt and be able to have meaningful relationships without fearing abandonment. It's an easy book to read and doesn't necessarily make you feel bad by bringing up bad feelings. It simply tries to address the issues surrounding abandonment and cites examples of people and their experiences in this context.