Letting Go: A 12-Week Personal Action Program to Overcome a Broken Heart (Mass Market Paperback)

by Zev Wanderer (Author) "When you feel helpless, unable to function, overcome by pain, like you just can't get yourself together because your loved one is gone, you've got..." (more)
Key Phrases: unnegotiable points, airplane phobic, scene cards, Implosion Day, Last Love Letter, Implosion Box (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Product Description
Are you crying over sad songs? Seeing his or her face in every crowd? Aching with loneliness and hoping the phone will ring? Feeling that no one else can give your life meaning? Losing a loved one is the most devastating crisis of intimate living. It can jeopardize your health... even your life. You might think only passing time will ease your pain, but now you can begin to end the hurt today. Within three months you can erase painful memories, regain control of your feelings, and be free to love again. Discover how to: Short-circuit acute symptoms of grief and depression; Turn hurt into healthy anger; Fall out of love; Rebuild your self-esteem; Break the "sex hook" to your ex. Meet someone new and make that relationship really work! Here is the step-by-step, week-by-week program that has already helped thousands. Now you can learn how to survive a lost romance and regenerate your love life by... Letting Go.

From the Publisher
Are you crying over sad songs? Seeing his or her face in every crowd? Aching with loneliness and hoping the phone will ring? Feeling that no one else can give your life meaning? Losing a loved one is the most devastating crisis of intimate living. It can jeopardize your health... even your life. You might think only passing time will ease your pain, but now you can begin to end the hurt today. Within three months you can erase painful memories, regain control of your feelings, and be free to love again. Discover how to: Short-circuit acute symptoms of grief and depression; Turn hurt into healthy anger; Fall out of love; Rebuild your self-esteem; Break the "sex hook" to your ex. Meet someone new and make that relationship really work! Here is the step-by-step, week-by-week program that has already helped thousands. Now you can learn how to survive a lost romance and regenerate your love life by... Letting Go.

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Product Details

• Mass Market Paperback: 320 pages
• Publisher: Dell (August 1, 1987)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0440147301
• ISBN-13: 978-0440147305
• Product Dimensions: 6.8 x 4.1 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 5.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.7 out of 5 stars See all reviews (33 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #209,824 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

84 of 85 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Maybe There's a Little Male Bias?, October 22, 2003

By	Elizabeth Shipley "illyria lady" (Santa Cruz, California United States) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

"Letting Go" is definitely worth reading, as it's obviously very helpful to lots of people. But as a sensitive and experienced woman who's been through heartbreak more than once, I found myself questioning some of the book's assertions and recommendations.

I certainly agree with the reviewer from Middletown who flinched at the advice on page 63: "It's okay to have sex with somebody just because they're there and they're nice." Not only can that attitude lead to STDs and exploitation of the "nice" person, but it can be emotionally damaging to the heartbroken person. Certainly for women, casual sex while in the throes of an emotional crisis is usually a bad idea.

This is just one example of what I suspect may be a bias toward men's experience in "Letting Go." References to "getting off" and 'scoring" don't sound like they're intended for female readers. There are also statements like, "Women usually depend on men for things like the illusion of emotional security, financial support, social respectability, general rescuing, and the opportunity to play the highly touted family game." Which century are the authors thinking of?!

The authors also use male pronouns quite consistently, despite an introductory note announcing their intention to use non-sexist language.

In general, I felt like"Letting Go" was not written with me in mind. I know that many of the techniques it suggests have been helpful to many women. But its language and attitudes really relate much more to men.

(...)

47 of 48 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars This is just terrible., January 30, 2005

By	Texan Teacher (Texas, USA) - See all my reviews

I suffered a break up exactly one week ago and was in the bookstore searching for some solace. I looked through this book and I am sorry to say it made me feel worse than I do right now, if that's even possible.

The book does an excellent job relating to how you feel after a terrible breakup--after the first week of course, I am pretty miserable--but besides that, the strategies offered are really awful and could possibly set you back. Among the bad ideas throughout the book:

(1) Call your ex. Excuse me?? I need to make a clean break here and get on with my life, not risk the possibility of being re-rejected or offered some false hopes.
(2) Go out and have sex. It should be self-explanatory why this one is not helpful.
(3) Have an "implosion" ceremony, where you take out ALL the remaining mementos of your ex (that you should have carefully saved, according to these authors), and surround yourself with them while you watch old home videos and/or listen to the songs you had together. Spend the entire day in mourning and don't do anything to improve your mood. Follow this day with a celebration of the ending of the relationship.
(4) An extensive checklist in the beginning of the book that labels your symptoms as "compulsive," "hysterical," "depressive" and other words that make you feel like you've really lost your mind.

Perhaps this book could be helpful, but ideas like these should best be carried out with the supervision of a therapist.

46 of 47 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars So you want to crank call him......., March 1, 2000

By A Customer

I read this book when I broke up with my boyfriend of 7 years. Considering the book says it will take half of that time to overcome the relationship - I decided the book was worth reading because there was no way I was waiting another 3 years to get over this relationship. It was very easy to read - and as a woman - I did follow the steps. I would read the same chapter over again for that week if I felt weak and sometimes just to take up time so I wasn't watching bad tv that would make me think of "HIM". I put all the memories in a box, etc., as suggested in the book. After three months the book did help me, alot. The book makes you realize that you are normal and it is ok to have creepy fingers to crank call him and hang up. That it is ok to be angry and tell him that,and that it is ok to cry when you hear a song or look at his picture. Eventually, the book made me not want to call him or yell at him or tell him what I really thought of him. The book helps you to realize that you need to be good to yourself and get back in the game of life. After all - just because you had one bad apple doesn't mean that the whole bunch of apples are rotten.I would definately recommend!