Light Her Fire: How to Ignite Passion, Joy, and Excitement in the Women You Love (Mass Market Paperback)

by Ellen Kreidman (Author) "It began with a note, handwritten on exquisite gray linen stationery..." (more)
Key Phrases: Light Her Fire, Light His Fire

Editorial Reviews

Review
"Light His Fire and Light Her Fire [are] guides to keeping your love life fresh, challenging and hot, hot, hot!" -- San Diego Union. -- Review

Review
"Light His Fire and Light Her Fire [are] guides to keeping your love life fresh, challenging and hot, hot, hot!" -- San Diego Union.

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Product Details

• Mass Market Paperback: 272 pages
• Publisher: Dell (January 4, 1992)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0440212499
• ISBN-13: 978-0440212492
• Product Dimensions: 6.8 x 4.1 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars See all reviews (28 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #121,921 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

28 of 29 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Useful book for improving ALL relationships, April 8, 2002

By	Blaine Greenfield "eclectic reader" (Belle Meade, NJ) - See all my reviews (TOP 500 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)

Heard the taped version of Ellen Kreidman's LIGHT HER FIRE
and got a lot of useful advice from it (or at least I hope it is useful advice? laughing here--somewhat) . . . Kreidman, also author of the best-selling LIGHT HIS FIRE, presents many ideas about how to have a passionate, fun, exciting relationship . . . most if not all of what she writes seems to make a great deal of sense, and I believe it can apply to other situations as well; e.g., basic communication with friends, coworkers, children, etc.

Here were just a few of the many concepts that caught my attention:
We all have 10 vaults and 10 virtues.

When asked if you want to do something (such as go to the movies),
don't just say "OK." Respond, I'd love to go the movies with you!

Send personal notes, rather than preprinted greeting cards.

Ask what the other person wants and give it to her. If she tells you
without asking, make sure you note it!

Very romantic: A guy who has roses pout on his wife's bed for their
35th anniversary. (He has the thorns removed.) He tells her, "I've
always wanted to make love to you on a bed of roses."

Once a week, make a date night. Every three months, go away for
a weekend. Once a year, take a vacation with your spouse or
significant other.

Women need something to look forward to; e.g., a trip in six weeks.
For men, it doesn't matter as much.

Plan a special evening at least once every few months. Tell your
partner that everything has been taken care of by you.

Give kids a hug whenever you get the chance. Kiss your partner
like you mean it; i.e., a 7-second kiss.

Don't ask, "What are you doing on Saturday?' Instead say, "I'd
like to go out with you Saturday night . . . are you busy?" Use
"I" statements.

If you're together, hold your partner's hand, give her a kiss, put
your arm around her shoulder. Show the world you enjoy
being alone with her.

Schedule a lunch date, and tell your partner you're putting it in
your book.

Send a no occasion gift of flowers to her office.

Compliment your mate in front of another couple. It has three times
the impact this way.

23 of 25 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Please get a hold of this book .. You will not be sorry!!, June 29, 1999

By A Customer

If you buy one book on relationships, this needs to be the one. I was impressed with the reviews here but it wasn't till I read the book myself that I realized what an incredible treasure it really is. Gentleman, if you really want to be all the man you can be for the love of you life please read this book. There are no magic tricks or special formulas that Ellen teaches, other than good old fashion sense that everyone should know but some how we usually don't. No matter what the state your relationship is currently in, no matter how bad or how good, I give you my word, this book can make it better. Hands down, no questions asked. She not only teaches you how to become the dream guy that all women long for, but how to really understand women's needs. I have always said that if a guy could understand women than he would be rich. Well here you go. The first 20 pages alone are worth a hundred times the price. I am not much of a spender but it was so cheap, I figured why not. Now that I understand its contents I also understand that you can not afford to not get this book. And if you are single, do yourself a favor and get a head start. That special woman will never know what hit her when she finds you. This book is a guide, a revelation, and a counselor. Enjoy, and become the most sought after guy in your city.

15 of 16 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Outstanding in Some Ways ... So-So in Others, January 30, 2005

By	Thomas the Reader (Buffalo, New York United States) - See all my reviews

The product description for this book reads:

"Whether your marriage is in the doldrums, your relationship is on the skids, or you're single and looking for love, Ellen Kreidman shows you how to become a world-class lover..."

This book delivers on the first two promises, for reasons already explained by other reviewers. I believe, though, that the author should have paid more attention to the importance of being a challenge, rather than an ever-willing romantic. Lack of challenge is at least as deadly as lack of romance. I would suggest using these ideas once in a while, giving your partner a glimpse of what you can be, rather than constantly showering her with this approach (as the author seems to suggest).

As far as her "single looking for love" promise is concerned, which is what made me curious enough to read it, this book doesn't offer as much as other works that are exclusively focused on that particular subject. This book is targeted more for men who are already in relationships and trying to keep things lively; not so much for those wanting to attract new romantic partners. For that, I suggest:

1. "How To Make Anyone Fall in Love With You" by Leil Lowndes, 2. "The Art of Seduction" by Robert Greene (if you dare!)
3. "...The System" by Roy Valentine

The last one is especially recommended if you are the type who frequently hears "You're nice," soon followed by "I think of you as a friend."
Bottom line is, "Light Her Fire" is great (in moderation) for long-term relationships, IF your partner is already sincerely into you, needs more evidence of your romantic feelings for her, and you need ideas to accomplish that (but you probably won't get to that point in the first place simply by "being romantic" -- you have to "create attraction" before it is time to "be romantic"). If you are single, especially if you're the type of man who wants to attract new partners, you would be better advised to read something else; but this book is quite good if your circumstances call for it.