Are You the One for Me?: Knowing Who's Right and Avoiding Who's Wrong (Mass Market Paperback)

~ Barbara De Angelis (Author) "Falling in love is a magical and powerful experience..." (more)
Key Phrases: lust blindness, emotional programming, partial compatibility, Love Myth, Compatibility Formula, The Six Biggest Mistakes (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Kirkus Reviews

The bestselling author of Secrets of Men Every Woman Should Know (1990) and How to Make Love All the Time (1987) now dissects bad love choices. Quizzes, lists, and anecdotes render De Angelis's sensible material in easy-to-swallow morsels. Early on, readers are asked to make lists of past lovers' worst qualities and then to write a want ad for a partner, highlighting the common themes (``WANTED: Self- absorbed, damaged loser who has lots of potential and is doing nothing with it....''); and possible roots for these perverse attractions in the childhood family experience are then explored. Readers count off ``the seven wrong reasons to be in a relationship'' (from ``sexual hunger'' to ``emotional or spiritual emptiness''); ``nine fatal flaws to watch out for in a partner'' (addiction, control-freak tendencies, sexual dysfunction); seven compatibility time-bombs, etc. Although the majority of the text deals with negatives, going on the theory that recognizing self- destructive habits is the major step toward overcoming them, De Angelis comments briefly on the attitudes and flexibility necessary for change. Those unsure of whether to commit may value the elaborate self-test offered here, leading to a numerical assessment of compatibility. Given a tolerance for lists and comfort with an approach that precludes subtlety, readers with histories of unhappy relationships may gain insight from this solid, well-organized advice. -- Copyright ©1992, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Review

“Solid, well-organized advice.” –Kirkus
-- Review --This text refers to the Audio CD edition.

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Product Details

• Mass Market Paperback: 448 pages
• Publisher: Dell (June 14, 1993)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0440215757
• ISBN-13: 978-0440215752
• Product Dimensions: 6.7 x 4.1 x 1.3 inches
• Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (99 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #141,880 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

14 of 14 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Getting to a better life., September 4, 2009

By	Jessica Goodall - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This review is from: Are You the One for Me?: Knowing Who's Right and Avoiding Who's Wrong (Paperback)

This book is basically telling you to get over yourself. It's the complete opposite of some books I've read that tell you to blame everything on the man, the terrible, terrible man. It's got some clear, concise information that any woman should be able to use. If you want to get married, or into a good relationship, think about giving this one a try. Also try, Man Magnet: How to Be the Best Woman You Can Be in Order to Get the Best Man-A Guide To Dating (Revised Edition).

47 of 62 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Teaches you how to avoid problematic people/relationships, June 18, 2001

By	MISTER SJEM "sonofhotpie" (CALIF BAY AREA United States) - See all my reviews

When I broke up with my girlfriend, I decided I was going to do things differently; first, I would spot warning signs earlier and second, I would be conscious of my own shortcomings which needed work. So, rather than be the typical guy who never tries to get advice, I decided to read several books with varying opinions.

One of the things I like about this book is that it has a huge list of problematic people and how to spot their symptoms. Personally, I feel this is classic b/c it's a lot harder to get out of a relationship with a problem person once you're emotionally involved with them.

How many people have gotten involved with lovers who were emotionally closed off? How many got involved with a lover addicted to drugs or food or something else which took away from the relationship? How about a rageaholic who would explode and make you walk on eggs? How about someone who was still recovering from child abuse? How about a control freak? How about those who got involved with someone who was married?

If you read this book, you could very well save yourself years from getting involved with someone who isn't ready for a relationship or who has subtle flaws which aren't entirely noticeable until you are emotionally involved with the person.

Overall, a 4 1/2 star book. It also has a great section about finding the right type of person and an exercise chart at the back to figure out what you want and how to spot it.

Best of luck.

11 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Barbara is a Godsend!, November 29, 2004

By	S. Goff - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

I have read several of Barbara's books, and they have all been very helpful. The insights that she provides into the workings of relationships and the human mind are easy to understand yet powerful and potentially life-changing!

Some readers have criticized her because she has had several failed relationships, but she has learned from those failures and from the people she has counseled, which I think makes her much better suited to give advice! Her books are very straightforward, even a little simplistic, but they will help you see patterns in your life and learn what you can do to make changes for the better. This book is for anyone who's been through not-right or almost-right relationships and wants to understand why things didn't work and how to choose better the next time. A great book for both women and men. If more people would stop and take this advice into consideration, they could save themselves a lot of heartache.

A note: Many of Barbara's books overlap one another, sometimes with whole passages repeated verbatim from one book to another. For instance, I read this book followed by her book "The Real Rules" and found the second book to basically be a watered-down version of this one. Get this book and you'll be in good shape. Women, I also recommend "Secrets About Men Every Woman Should Know." Men might even benefit from that book; it reveals some great insights about why men do the things they do, and even my usually stubborn ex admitted that most of it was dead-on.

Basically, you can't go wrong with Barbara! Her books are super cheap and are packed with great advice. Do yourself a favor and check them out!