Are You the One for Me?: Knowing Who's Right and Avoiding Who's Wrong (Paperback)

~ Barbara De Angelis (Author) "Falling in love is a magical and powerful experience..." (more)
Key Phrases: total actual score, lust blindness, emotional programming, Love Myth, Compatibility Formula, Make Love All the Time (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Kirkus Reviews

The bestselling author of Secrets of Men Every Woman Should Know (1990) and How to Make Love All the Time (1987) now dissects bad love choices. Quizzes, lists, and anecdotes render De Angelis's sensible material in easy-to-swallow morsels. Early on, readers are asked to make lists of past lovers' worst qualities and then to write a want ad for a partner, highlighting the common themes (``WANTED: Self- absorbed, damaged loser who has lots of potential and is doing nothing with it....''); and possible roots for these perverse attractions in the childhood family experience are then explored. Readers count off ``the seven wrong reasons to be in a relationship'' (from ``sexual hunger'' to ``emotional or spiritual emptiness''); ``nine fatal flaws to watch out for in a partner'' (addiction, control-freak tendencies, sexual dysfunction); seven compatibility time-bombs, etc. Although the majority of the text deals with negatives, going on the theory that recognizing self- destructive habits is the major step toward overcoming them, De Angelis comments briefly on the attitudes and flexibility necessary for change. Those unsure of whether to commit may value the elaborate self-test offered here, leading to a numerical assessment of compatibility. Given a tolerance for lists and comfort with an approach that precludes subtlety, readers with histories of unhappy relationships may gain insight from this solid, well-organized advice. -- Copyright ©1992, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Review

“Solid, well-organized advice.” –Kirkus
-- Review --This text refers to the Audio CD edition.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 368 pages
• Publisher: Dell (May 2, 1994)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0440506700
• ISBN-13: 978-0440506706
• Product Dimensions: 7.9 x 5.3 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (99 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #20,396 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

13 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Getting to a better life., September 4, 2009

By	Jessica Goodall - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This book is basically telling you to get over yourself. It's the complete opposite of some books I've read that tell you to blame everything on the man, the terrible, terrible man. It's got some clear, concise information that any woman should be able to use. If you want to get married, or into a good relationship, think about giving this one a try. Also try, Man Magnet: How to Be the Best Woman You Can Be in Order to Get the Best Man-A Guide To Dating (Revised Edition).

9 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The only book you'll ever need, January 21, 2000

By	J9Detroit (Michigan) - See all my reviews

I've had this book for many years and I refer to it often. It's full of sound advice and judgement from someone who has lived though it just like you. It is worth every penny. I recommend it to all my friends. You shouldn't even consider getting married until you've read the book and done the quizzes. You owe it to yourself to live the rest of your life in a loving and giving relationship.

17 of 21 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Too strict, too calculating, March 27, 2006

By	Louise (Europe) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Are You the One for Me?: Knowing Who's Right and Avoiding Who's Wrong (Mass Market Paperback)

I find this book somewhat problematic. First of all, it endorses a very consumerist attitude toward love relationships, i.e. choosing your partner like you're buying a new car (I believe she even uses this metaphor somewhere in the book!). This is not a very humane or warm mindset, but very cold and calculating. I personally do not see my partners as products that need to be brought back to the store when malfunctioning.

I fully understand that people who have had bad relationships in the past are sick and tired of trying out and just want to settle down with someone who's right for them, period. Don't we all want that? Unfortunately no book in the world can tell you if someone's right for you, because you and only you can know what you want and what is good for you. There is no rule book for life. That alone makes this book somewhat non-sensical.

Second, this book is a little too strict with people, it's like she lives in some kind of fantasy world where nobody has any problems. According to her set of rules not me or anybody I know would be in a relationship! In her book, Johnny Cash and June would never have been a couple, or probably anybody who experienced great love that was more than a business arrangement! De Angelis does not acknowledge that love is capable of healing and setting free unimagined positive impulses, maybe because she never experienced deep love. Her view of love is unromantic, meager and narrow. Love is about taking risks and opening up, not about being paranoid and mistrustful and giving every potential partner the third degree. Maybe exactly this attitude is why she's on her (quite unbelievable) sixth marriage.

I'm not saying this book can't give you any positive insight, but I would be careful about following it too closely, or you might miss out on some deep emotions.