Are You the One for Me?: Knowing Who's Right and Avoiding Who's Wrong (Paperback)

by Barbara De Angelis (Author) "Falling in love is a magical and powerful experience..." (more)
Key Phrases: total actual score, lust blindness, emotional programming, Love Myth, Compatibility Formula, Make Love All the Time (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Kirkus Reviews
The bestselling author of Secrets of Men Every Woman Should Know (1990) and How to Make Love All the Time (1987) now dissects bad love choices. Quizzes, lists, and anecdotes render De Angelis's sensible material in easy-to-swallow morsels. Early on, readers are asked to make lists of past lovers' worst qualities and then to write a want ad for a partner, highlighting the common themes (``WANTED: Self- absorbed, damaged loser who has lots of potential and is doing nothing with it....''); and possible roots for these perverse attractions in the childhood family experience are then explored. Readers count off ``the seven wrong reasons to be in a relationship'' (from ``sexual hunger'' to ``emotional or spiritual emptiness''); ``nine fatal flaws to watch out for in a partner'' (addiction, control-freak tendencies, sexual dysfunction); seven compatibility time-bombs, etc. Although the majority of the text deals with negatives, going on the theory that recognizing self- destructive habits is the major step toward overcoming them, De Angelis comments briefly on the attitudes and flexibility necessary for change. Those unsure of whether to commit may value the elaborate self-test offered here, leading to a numerical assessment of compatibility. Given a tolerance for lists and comfort with an approach that precludes subtlety, readers with histories of unhappy relationships may gain insight from this solid, well-organized advice. -- Copyright ©1992, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Review
“Solid, well-organized advice.” –Kirkus
-- Review --This text refers to the Audio CD edition.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 368 pages
• Publisher: Dell (May 2, 1994)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0440506700
• ISBN-13: 978-0440506706
• Product Dimensions: 7.9 x 5.3 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars See all reviews (94 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #19,882 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

44 of 46 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Teaches you how to avoid problematic people/relationships, June 18, 2001

By	MISTER SJEM "sonofhotpie" (CALIF BAY AREA United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Are You the One for Me?: Knowing Who's Right and Avoiding Who's Wrong (Mass Market Paperback)

When I broke up with my girlfriend, I decided I was going to do things differently; first, I would spot warning signs earlier and second, I would be conscious of my own shortcomings which needed work. So, rather than be the typical guy who never tries to get advice, I decided to read several books with varying opinions.

One of the things I like about this book is that it has a huge list of problematic people and how to spot their symptoms. Personally, I feel this is classic b/c it's a lot harder to get out of a relationship with a problem person once you're emotionally involved with them.

How many people have gotten involved with lovers who were emotionally closed off? How many got involved with a lover addicted to drugs or food or something else which took away from the relationship? How about a rageaholic who would explode and make you walk on eggs? How about someone who was still recovering from child abuse? How about a control freak? How about those who got involved with someone who was married?

If you read this book, you could very well save yourself years from getting involved with someone who isn't ready for a relationship or who has subtle flaws which aren't entirely noticeable until you are emotionally involved with the person.

Overall, a 4 1/2 star book. It also has a great section about finding the right type of person and an exercise chart at the back to figure out what you want and how to spot it.

Best of luck.

21 of 21 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This is the cure to the "Poor Me" Syndrome!!!, March 8, 1999

By	C. Poag (MD) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This review is from: Are You the One for Me?: Knowing Who's Right and Avoiding Who's Wrong (Mass Market Paperback)

Wow! Finally!!! This book makes common sense look easy, but apparently it is not! I am a 25 year young single woman. Four out of five of my closest friends got married. Four out of those four ended or are ending in divorce. Not a good track record. I always end up helping to pick up the pieces. Now, I have help and wisdom beyond my words!

Barbara is not as brutal and self righteous as Dr. Laura or wordy and fluffy as John Gray. She is direct, intriguing, honest, and helpful to all--married, divorced, single, male, female, all ethnicity's, ages, and sexual orientations.

This book is great for 1. Single people looking for love. 2. People who keep making bad choices in relationships. 3. Divorced people who still don't understand why. 4. And people considering marriage.

The exercises really dig in and have you answer the really tough questions that everyone is afraid to ask you--and you are afraid to ask yourself. And it is the only self help book that does not revolve around religion and it does not condemn any lifestyles. It caters to the individual. That's something new!

The ladies that are divorcing or divorced now know why and they no longer pull the "Victim Card." The ladies looking for love now make better judgements. I, also, purchased this book for 3 of my co-workers who are all planning to marry within the next year. They have a oral contract with me and each other to complete this book with their future wives and husband as well as go through pre-marital counseling. No excuses.

I mean business and so does Barbara!!! Marriages should be built to last! There is no "Poor Me" in a marriage. Everything you need to know will come out sooner or later. Don't waste time! $5.20 is nothing compared to the cost of being a victim.

Thanks, Barbara!!!

15 of 15 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars If you want things better, read Barbara, June 11, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: Are You the One for Me?: Knowing Who's Right and Avoiding Who's Wrong (Mass Market Paperback)

As typical of Barbara DeAngelis' work, she has an insight to guide you as you evaluate your relationships and yourself. The book presents to you questions you should be asking and knowing. Then it is up to you to decide whether to put it to good use. If you are ready to make life better, then open your mind and learn. She puts forth the very questions you don't want to ask, but need to. I have attended several of Barbara's workshops a few years back and enjoy her books and tapes as a boost to what I learned. My quality of life has turned around and I no longer view myself as a victim. In this book, she guides me when I have questions and forces me to be honest with myself about my relationship. Not about who is right or wrong, but how it can work for or against my needs. This lady has more engery and love than anyone I ever met. She deeply cares and gives 100% of herself; and the only thing she wants is that you have the love in your life you want and deserve. One thing she taught me: when what you are hearing isn't comfortable, it is probably the thing you need to listen to the most. Keep up the good work and thank you for caring and wanting to share love. Keep making love work.