Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others: The Fascinating Research That Can Land You the Husband of Your Dreams (Hardcover)

by John T. Molloy (Author) "WHEN BETH, one of my better researchers, said that men who were averse to commitment were drawn to her like bees to honey, I gave..." (more)
Key Phrases: marriage license bureaus, comfortable stage, engaged women, New York City (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly
Though the title makes this volume sound more like a Gone With The Wind-era admonition than a modern-day marriage manifesto, Molloy (Dress for Success) promises to "increase your chances of marrying by up to 60 percent" and teach women how to spot "ten warning signals that a man is never going to marry you." For the woman dedicated to landing a mate, this book does offer practical tips based on Molloy's interviews with thousands of engaged and married people. Some of the advice offered is common sense ("date eligible men," "if you want to meet men...pick a place where men really go"-i.e., a sports bar), but other suggestions have an unintentionally humorous effect. In the "Size Matters" section, Molloy writes: "Being overweight dramatically reduces your changes of attracting and marrying men... Naturally, there are many overweight women who do marry. We ran across dozens." Though he offers helpful chapters on relationship stages, open communication, divorced and widowed men and marriage after 40, Molloy's tone often makes it sound as if men do women a favor by marrying them. "If you want to discuss marriage, you're probably going to have to bring the subject up, because many men never will," Molloy warns, and his book sets forth a straightforward plan for any marriage-minded woman willing to change her habits. For better or worse, Molloy proves that most men still choose mates based upon qualities that signaled the perfect bride in the Edwardian era: virtue, respectability and accomplishment.
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Product Description
Bestselling author John T. Molloy delivers a groundbreaking book based on scientific research that shows women how they can improve their chances of getting married.John T. Molloy's research has helped women get ahead in the corporate world for years. In fact, his methods have worked so well that many women began asking how to apply these same techniques to get ahead in their personal lives--specifically to find and marry Mr. Right. This book is the result of over 2000 interviews with married couples and over 1,800 unmarried men and women. Molloy's remarkable study reveals: ï exactly what women need to do to make their boyfriends pop the question ï the top signs a relationship is bound for the altar--or bound for disaster ï how to identify which men are the "marrying kind" and which definitely are not ï and much more. WHY MEN MARRY SOME WOMEN AND NOT OTHERS will turn frustrated bachelorettes everywhere into blushing brides!

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 224 pages
• Publisher: Warner Books (October 2003)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0446531138
• ISBN-13: 978-0446531139
• Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.8 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12.5 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 3.7 out of 5 stars See all reviews (61 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #481,572 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

107 of 115 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars Save your money on this dreck, October 20, 2005

By	GadgetChick - See all my reviews (TOP 1000 REVIEWER)

One of my single girlfriends and I (I'm married, 6 years this month) paged through this book at the bookstore the other day. If you want a laugh, it's great. If you're looking for sound advice, get another book.

The one thing people need to understand about John Molloy is that his so called "scientific studies" are bogus. He uses insanely small sample sizes, anecdotal information, and non-scientifically-selected subjects to come up with his conclusions. In a country of 360 MILLION people, I imagine you could come up with a few hundred people who married their spouse because they shared a love of online fantasy games and green chile enchiladas. Compared to the general population, his sample sizes are smaller than miniscule and therefore, the sweeping conclusions he makes are basically worthless. Anyone who's ever taken Statistics 101 can figure that out. You know that saying that there are three types of lies: lies, damn lies, and statistics? That statement is never more true than when applied to this book.

Secondly, the conclusions he comes to "scientifically" are completely ridiculous. If you want to get married, be thin, make a good first impression and make marriage a priority. WOW! What a revelation! My single friend said "if only it was that simple." She is thin, beautiful and accomplished, and after a failed marriage 7 years ago has had no luck getting married since. She makes a great first impression and makes her living off that as a salesperson. According to Molloy, she should be beating men away with a stick and fending off marriage proposals daily. But sadly, that's not the case. Whereas I am a loud, brassy, overweight woman who probably comes across as outre when people first meet me, and I've been happily married for six years.

If you really, REALLY want to get married, here is my advice. I am giving it out FREE here on Amazon so people don't give John Molloy any more money for his silly books. Are you ready? Here it is:
- Don't sit at home. Get out and meet people. If you live in a city of any size, there will be groups of people who assemble to participate in activities you would enjoy - everything from stargazing through telescopes to needlepoint. If you don't feel comfortable joining mixed-sex groups, join women's groups. Other women have friends, brothers, sons, etc. who you may like very much. The bottom line is GET OUT THERE. Sitting at home will NOT enable you to meet anyone you'd be interested in.
- Make a list of the things you want in a partner, and then a list of your deal-breakers. Then go back over the list of your deal-breakers and really examine it. If it's more than 7-10 items long, you are probably being too picky. Just because someone is bald, or likes sci-fi, or hates Indian food does not mean they are not a wonderful person who would be a caring partner. When I met my husband, he smoked. I HATE smoking. He also had a few other habits that drove me crazy. But I could see past those to the wonderful, fabulous person he is. I could see he was great husband material (and believe me, you should evaluate people as potential spouses EARLY - don't feel shallow for doing so). I stuck with him, and just a couple of years into the relationship, he quit smoking. He is the most wonderful man I have ever met and I could not ask for a more loyal, faithful, caring, funny and intelligent man to be my husband. I am not talking about ignoring personality traits like "he beats me" or "he's drunk all the time." I'm talking about trying to look past the "Seinfeld" or "Sex and the City" criteria for dating. "I can't keep dating him, he has long nose hairs." So what? If he's a caring, stable person, he can clip his nose hairs. But a shiftless, abusive guy with good grooming can't change his personality.
- Here's the most important one. Love yourself. Invest in yourself. Even if you weigh 300 lbs, you should be getting your hair done, buying flattering clothes that fit you, and walking around with your head held high. I have been chunky all my life but I dated plenty in high school and college, because I decided early on that I felt good about myself and I was going to have a personality that attracted people to me, even if my looks didn't. My husband wasn't even the first guy who wanted to marry me, and believe me, I don't meet any of Molloy's "criteria." It's not because I am dazzlingly beautiful or I have a compliant personality. I am funny and smart, and I love to laugh and have a good time. That's attractive to anyone. (I also have a healthy self-esteem, if you couldn't tell. :) Don't let one or two jerks, or this book, tell you your marriage prospects are hopeless if you're overweight or not traditionally beautiful or you care about your career. You are a great person and you deserve love. Now go out and get it!

271 of 301 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars Don't bother if you are a woman over 35, June 30, 2004

By	Patricia E. Powers "Patricia the wonder walker" (San Diego) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

I bought this book because I thought that I would learn some special insight into why I was still a single woman over 40. I don't recommend this book if you are older. The author states the obvious: 1) Men want younger women 2) If you are an over 40 woman, who is single, you better be attractive and thin more so than your younger counterparts. 3) You should marry unattractive men who get passed over by other women. 4) You should join an athelic group of some sort, go out on Singles outings etc..etc... Nothing new here to me. I have done all of the things the author suggests and I am still single going on four years. I am thin- if I get any thinner my doctor will get ticked, attractive, take care of myself and participate in many sporting activities.

Anyhow-there is no special formula here, maybe I should write a book and tell women the following:
1) Date divorced men - they are easier to get along with -
2) Stay away from players and guys who have NEVER settled down or who have a history of breaking women's hearts.
3) Love yourself enough to take care of yourself on the inside and out.

No brainers here ladies...I am done reading these dating books. Finding the love of your life is either meant to be ie, luck or it is not.

100 of 108 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Just the Facts, Ma'am, September 30, 2003

By A Customer

How I wish I had read this when I was still in my 30s. If you're looking for a book that is entertaining or touchy-feely, skip this one. It reports results of thousands of interviews and bares the hard cold facts--some made me feel optimistic, most were sobering but truthful and necessary to know. I was surprised to read that the majority of women his team interviewed at marriage license offices admitted they had to give their sweeties what amounts to an ultimatum to get him to commit. (I worry such arm-twisting might account for our high divorce rate.) What interested me most was the section that discussed The Stringer, the kind of fellow you date for years without any certainty of a future in terms of marriage. So you wake up in your early 40s, figure out his game, then find how very hard it is to find a man who wants to date (and marry) you who isn't a whole lot older than you (and probably more interested in you as his geriatric nurse). Molloy described stringers as "very destructive" because their M.O. can result in woman being single (and he didn't mention, childless) the rest of her life. Also, we all kind of know it and Molloy was sympathetic to the unfairness of it, but the statistics are as clear as a bell that women who let themselves get heavy put themselves in a very, very bad position to attract a man despite a few happy string bean-tomato exceptions. He included some good tips on where to go to meet men even though I'd rather stay single than devote time to model train shows or hang out in sports bars (however he did cite other places more appealing to me). Why aren't more single men going to places where women with high values tend to gravitate--churches, volunteer programs, cultural institutions, etc.? I guess it goes back his finding that they need to be pressured to grow up and commit, and singles bars are the easiest route to a fling. Reminds me of Reagan's quote, "It was women who brought men out of the caves." I wish Molloy would lay some cold facts on men in his next book, but of course which gender is it who reads books on enhancing relationships?