The Secrets of Happy Families: Eight Keys to Building a Lifetime of Connection and Contentment (Hardcover)

~ Scott Haltzman MD (Author)

Editorial Reviews

Product Description

"This is a wonderful book. I recommend it to all families as required reading." —Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. author, Getting the Love You Want and Giving the Love That Heals: A Guide for Parents

"This is a beautiful book—timely, passionate, and powerful. It is also so well written, it's a page-turner and you'll find wealth of insight on every page. If you have specific questions about how to make family love last, this book has practical answers." —Michael Gurian author, The Minds of Boys and The Wonder of Girls

"Scott Haltzman's writing is so engaging, it's the kind of book you pick up in a bookstore and find yourself still reading a half hour later. Inspiring and enlightening, it is filled with fascinating facts, educational anecdotes, and wise advice that you will remember, use, and repeat to others, even years from now. Don't miss this outpouring of love from a seasoned writer and psychiatrist." —Susan Page author, Why Talking Is Not Enough and If I'm So Wonderful, Why Am I Still Single?

"Few well-written and easily read books treat us to solid research, a wide range of thoughtful quotes, and the author's real-life experience on perhaps life's most important subject: creating a happy family. This book does it all!" —Warren Farrell, Ph.D. author, Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say and Why Men Are the Way They Are

"Haltzman's latest entry into the 'advice to families' genre is a gem. Grounded in solid family research and his own survey of families, Haltzman offers sound, practical, and compassionate advice for families. His recognition of the diversity of contemporary families is one of the great strengths of this book. The accessible style is sure to please a wide range of readers from parents to family professionals." —Ross D. Parke, Ph.D. Distinguished Professor of Psychology, Emeritus, University of California, Riverside; and past president, Society for Research in Child Development

From the Inside Flap

Living in a happy family is good for your health, longevity, productivity, and success. Written by best-selling author Dr. Scott Haltzman, The Secrets of Happy Families is filled with smart, wise, and often humorous tips for families who want a healthy and harmonious home life in good times and tough times.

The Secrets of Happy Families is based on the groundbreaking results of a survey of 1,266 men and women who reveal their family secrets on topics from sex to childcare. Dr. Haltzman interweaves cutting-edge research and examples from his own clinical practice to arrive at easy-to-apply strategies that can boost the happiness in any family:

Stick Together—Know your core values and work together to set a course for happiness that includes everyone in the home.

Commit and Communicate—Children feel more secure when they know that parents are committed to stay together. Using good communication seals the deal!

Lean—You don't have to do it all on your own. Reaching out to others makes you and your family sturdier and steadier.

Teach to and Learn from Children—Parenting takes patience, but while you're teaching your children, they're teaching you!

Blend—Grouping and regrouping with step-, adopted, and foster families isn't always smooth, but the process can enrich everyone involved.

Handle Conflict—Knowing how to master conflict can lead to a more cohesive family.

Bounce—Healthy families know how to rebound from adversity and grow stronger in the process.

Breathe—Making time for fun, adventure, and rituals sets the stage for a loving family over a lifetime.

The Secrets of Happy Families will be the book your family turns to again and again for raising healthy children, solving everyday crises, creating a stable loving home, and building positive memories.

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 272 pages
• Publisher: Jossey-Bass (June 29, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0470377100
• ISBN-13: 978-0470377109
• Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 6.2 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 15.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #75,946 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A useful tool in helping build relationships., July 4, 2009

By	Elin Schoen Brockman (Connecticut) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

My husband, who is a rabbi, uses this book in his work with couples. It is a good "study guide" in building relationships that last. It is very readable and makes the points clearly and understandably. Makes a great gift.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Happy Families Forever, September 16, 2009

By	Lynette R. Fleming "Coauthor of Lunch Buddies... (Decatur, IL USA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

Remember the scene in Robin William's movie, "The Birdcage," during which the right-wing parents of the fiancé of Armand's son are faced with his two mothers ... one biological (a female) and the other the drag-queen companion of his father? "Which one is your mother?" they ask. When many of us think of families, we think of the traditional "Leave it to Beaver" family ... father, mother, and children. But today there are so many other kinds of families ... grandparents raising grandchildren, foster families, adoptive families, same-sex couples, and so on. The great thing about this book is that the advice in it applies to any family, defined by Dr. Haltzman as "two or more people committed to sharing their life together who are related by blood, adoption, marriage or cohabitation, legal decree, or personal devotion."

After defining "family", Dr. Haltzman goes on to define happiness and gives us his eight secrets to the enduring happy family. Secret one, Stick Together, which isn't just about divorce but also includes how to set your family values and creating a family document ... The Family Mission Statement. We have one at work ... why not have one at home? Once you have established your family values, you'll move on to communication, teaching and learning from children, blending, handling conflict, bouncing back, breathing, and evolving.

Happy families don't just happen because two people fall in love and procreate. To continue our happiness, we must establish our values and become adept at nurturing our relationships. Know someone who can't stand their mother, father, or kids? It happens all the time. This book will teach you how to stop those conflicts in their tracks and put your family life on the right track to continuing happiness.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Great book!, August 15, 2009

By	Jodi E. Deangelis (Providence, RI) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

The Secrets of Happy Families is all that it is advertised to be! Dr. Haltzman begins the book by exploring the definition of family, and has an inspiring and educational chapter about happiness (did you know that people that win the lottery don't end up being any happier in life and people who become paralyzed?).



I found Haltzman's division of family happiness into eight "keys" extremely helpful. For instance, on his chapter called "commit and communicate" he talks about the importance of maintaining a stable family for the growth of the child. This seems like common sense, but the fact is that it is politically incorrect to say that people should marry because it's better for children. Other chapters talk about dealing with conflict, step families, values, and resiliency.



What was most impressive about this was Dr. Haltzman's use of humor. He seems to be saying that we should take a families seriously, but not so seriously that we are not able to enjoy all of the highs and lows that are part of being a family. The book gave me good ideas about how to enjoy fun and meaningful activities when I get together with my family. And how to argue less.



I am eager to read Dr. Haltzman's other books because he seems to be a voice of reason and humor when other authors are either sanctimonious, boring, or banal.