This Lovely Life (Paperback)

~ (Author)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Starred Review. Forman's enormously affecting memoir—winner of the Bread Loaf Writer's Conference Bakeless Prize—about the drastic disabilities of her extremely premature child poses challenging questions about parenthood and human compassion. Having given birth to twins at just six months' gestation (23 weeks), due to an undetected infection she learned of only much later, the author, living with her husband and three-year-old daughter in Southern California, and aware of the daunting health issues facing these babies, begged the doctors to let them go. However, the doctors refused the do-not-resuscitate order, offering the infants every form of neonatal intensive care available, and while one of the twins died within days, the boy, Evan, survived, spending six months in the hospital before the family could take him home. Evan was plagued by severe developmental difficulties, including seizures, cerebral palsy, mental retardation, congenital heart defect and blindness, and the author writes with unflinching honesty about her raw fear and conflicted feelings. With time, Forman persevered as Evan's advocate, finding solace in friendships with other mothers of special-needs children and open to experimental therapies that might prove helpful. Numbed by the crass exigencies surrounding the burial of one child (cemetery plots, tax forms), and hardened by what she terms post-traumatic stress syndrome, Forman portrays herself (sometimes shockingly) as deeply flawed and forgivingly human. (July)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review

“It would be difficult not to be stirred by Vicki Forman's story; but what makes This Lovely Life so good goes well past story and into idea, with which her book is so rich.  The idea of love; of choice; of ambivalence; of imperfection; of purpose: these are all here, in a narrative that is propulsive, startling and vivid, like motherhood itself.”

—Meg Wolitzer, author of The Ten-Year Nap

 

“Intimate, compelling, and hopeful—an absolutely important book.

—Rachel Simon, author of Riding in the Bus with My Sister

 

“Vicki Forman's This Lovely Life is its own kind of koan--a story about death that is full of life, a story about loss rich with things gained, a story of letting go, while at the same time holding on tightly to what we love best. Spare, bracing, lovely.”—Jennifer Graf Groneberg, author of Road Map to Holland

“If such a heartbreaking story must be any parent's to tell at all, I'm thankful that it should fall to such a talented voice as Vicki Forman to bring it to the rest of us.  Forman writes with sensitivity and clarity; her love is powerful and her eyes are wide open.   This Lovely Life is a beautiful story of loss and love, and ultimately of understanding, one that left me shaken, haunted and deeply moved long after I finished reading.”

—Robert Rummel-Hudson, author of Schuyler's Monster

 

"Forman’s enormously affecting memoir…about the drastic disabilities of her extremely premature child poses challenging questions about parenthood and human compassion…. Forman portrays herself (sometimes shockingly) as deeply flawed and forgivingly human.

—Publishers Weekly, STARRED
"A searing tale of heartache and impressive depth of character"

—Kirkus

See all Editorial Reviews

---

Product Details Paperback: 272 pages Publisher: Mariner Books (July 23, 2009) Language: English ISBN-10: 0547232756 ISBN-13: 978-0547232751 Product Dimensions: 7.9 x 5.2 x 0.7 inches Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies) Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (17 customer reviews) Amazon.com Sales Rank: #45,143 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

---

More About the Author

Discover books, learn about writers, read author blogs, and more.

› Visit Amazon's Vicki Forman Page

Front Cover | First Pages | Surprise Me!

Search Inside This Book:

---

Inside This Book (learn more)

Browse Sample Pages:
Front Cover | First Pages | Surprise Me!

Search Inside This Book:

---

What Do Customers Ultimately Buy After Viewing This Item?

	90% buy the item featured on this page: This Lovely Life 4.9 out of 5 stars (17) $10.04
	4% buy What I Thought I Knew: A Memoir 4.6 out of 5 stars (24) $16.47
	2% buy The Help 4.8 out of 5 stars (1,123) $12.00
	2% buy Love You to Pieces: Creative Writers on Raising a Child with Special Needs 4.2 out of 5 stars (9) $11.21

Explore similar items

---

Tags Customers Associate with This Product  (What's this?) Click on a tag to find related items, discussions, and people. Check the boxes next to the tags you consider relevant or enter your own tags in the field below.  special needs(8) memoir(6) nicu(6) parenting(5) twins(5) medical(4) relationships(4) birth(2) ethics(2) memoirs(2) Agree with these tags? See all 18 tags... Your tags: Add your first tag

Search Products Tagged with   See most popular tags

---

 

Customer Reviews

17 Reviews 5 star:  (16) 4 star:  (1) 3 star:    (0) 2 star:    (0) 1 star:    (0)           Average Customer Review 4.9 out of 5 stars (17 customer reviews)		Share your thoughts with other customers:
Most Helpful Customer Reviews 12 of 13 people found the following review helpful: 5.0 out of 5 stars From sadness to affirmation, June 21, 2009 By  DG (New Jersey, USA) - See all my reviews The description of this book is heartbreaking, but I came away from reading it moved, overwhelmed, and possessed by the joy you can only feel in the presence of truth. Forman has been through pain that most of us will never experience -- by taking us with her on that journey, we are able to see her growing through sadness, anger and denial into a warrior, teacher and healer who advocates fiercely for her multiply disabled, but no less beautiful or important child. Through her eyes we are able to learn truths that we might never reach on our own; when she writes, "Even a short life is a whole life; this I have learned," I cried, not with anguish, but with joy. There is a Zen saying, "If you want to find the path, set fire to your own life." By enduring the flames of her rage, pain, and ultimately love, Forman illuminates truths that will stay with me forever. I am grateful for this book. 4 of 4 people found the following review helpful: 5.0 out of 5 stars Facing the Unimaginable Head-On, July 13, 2009 By  Squid Rosenberg (Bay Area, Baby) - See all my reviews Vicki Forman begged to let her micropreemie twins slip away from the unimaginable, and was talked into holding on. This Lovely Life is the story of her and her family's lives for the next two years. The author describes -- without vanity, with unyielding honesty -- how the unimaginable encompasses more, asks more than some parents ever thought they could handle -- and the lessons we all can take from such experiences. Though her journey is underpinned by strength, love, and acceptance, the realities of the author's son's first two years are often brutal. Thankfully Ms. Forman, like Dickey and Nabokov before her, writes so beautifully that I found myself sighing with pleasure at her prose, even though her generosity and story had me in tears. Please, read this book. 6 of 7 people found the following review helpful: 5.0 out of 5 stars Stunning debut, June 21, 2009 By  KMS - See all my reviews Vicki Forman's memoir of the premature birth of her twins and the heartbreaking events that follow is a story that raises important questions about life and love, modern medicine and motherhood. Written from the heart--a heart shattered and broken by grief--Forman's story is honest and compelling. With a skillful hand, she draws readers into her world weaving a tale that is at once devastating and life-affirming. In the forward to the book, fellow author Tom Bissell, writes, "This Lovely Life is less a book one reads than a book one experiences, and no one who gives him- or herself to this writer's terrible, beautiful story will ever be the same again." Winner of the Bread Loaf Writers' Conference Bakeless Prize, This Lovely Life is a must read, one that will spark important conversations about the sanctity of life and love, and what it truly means to become a parent.		Most Recent Customer Reviews 5.0 out of 5 stars Poignant memoir As the mother of boy-girl premature twins (only a month early) I found the book very touching. I had so few problems with mine that I almost felt guilty, but also very blessed... Read more Published 1 month ago by St. Patrick 5.0 out of 5 stars A Beautiful Story of Grief, Loss, and True Acceptance This is a beautifully crafted story of the process of confronting grief and theloss of ones hopes and expectations, and emerging from that experience as a passionate... Read more Published 1 month ago by Pia Prenevost 4.0 out of 5 stars Eye opening perspective As a nurse in the NICU, my perspective of life and death are very different from most. As a mother my perspective of life and death is not very different from most. Ms. Read more Published 1 month ago by Sage Huxley 5.0 out of 5 stars Devastatingly honest portrayal of being a mother This book provides the most devastatingly honest portrayal of being a mother that I have ever read. The need to see you children happy, to see them thrive, battling with you own... Read more Published 2 months ago by Christa Southworth 5.0 out of 5 stars A must-read. This book caught me instantly. Vicki Forman takes us directly into the the life of a mother who is instantly changed by the birth of her two extremely premature babies. Read more Published 3 months ago by drama mama 5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant and unforgettable This Lovely Life is a wondrous, terrifying, mesmerizing and heart-expanding memoir that chronicles a mother's journey that is simultaneously unimaginable and entirely imaginable... Read more Published 3 months ago by Lisa LeValley 5.0 out of 5 stars Life... Before I decided to have children I remember speaking to many parents and asking them if parenthood was an endeavor that was worth taking on. Read more Published 3 months ago by Levi 5.0 out of 5 stars Undeniable, Mind-blowing Courage We like to remember the titles and authors of all of our favorite books, but I find it is rare that we remember all of the substance. Read more Published 3 months ago by Matthew J. Donovan 5.0 out of 5 stars A mother's memoir Vicki Forman's life changed suddenly and unexpectedly when her twin daughter and son were born quite prematurely. Read more Published 3 months ago by Ines Anchondo 5.0 out of 5 stars Stunning This is a beautifully written, heart-wrenching, unflinchingly honest memoir. It's lyrical and complex, and you will not want to put it down until you have read, pondered, and... Read more Published 4 months ago by Lee Goldstein Search Customer Reviews Only search this product's reviews

---

Customer Discussions

This product's forum Discussion Replies Latest Post No discussions yet Ask questions, Share opinions, Gain insight Start a new discussion Topic: First post: Receive e-mail when new posts are made Prompts for sign-in   Guidelines Active discussions in related forums Discussion Replies Latest Post health Why oppose health care reform? 1173 16 minutes ago health Why do cyclists more often go through red lights, and break numerous other road rules? 98 57 minutes ago parenting Spanking your children should be ILLEGAL. 883 1 hour ago biography What are some of the best biographies of women you've ever read. 129 3 hours ago parenting Improving Children's Behavior With Nutrition 0 3 hours ago memoir Have You Written a Memoir - Come Tell Us About It. 1245 1 day ago twins Looking for the best double stroller... 4 4 days ago Search Customer Discussions Search all Amazon discussions

The Special Needs community Latest activity 12 hours ago 710 customers have contributed 429 products, 69 lists & guides and more... › Explore the community The Memoir community Latest activity 45 minutes ago 12,341 customers have contributed 7,207 products, 832 lists & guides and more... › Explore the community The Twins community Latest activity 1 hour ago 1,381 customers have contributed 829 products, 75 lists & guides and more... › Explore the community Related forums biography (52 discussions) health (720 discussions) memoir (83 discussions) nicu parenting (255 discussions) special needs (4 discussions) twins (3 discussions) Explore more › See all Customer Communities › Your communities

---

Listmania!

Literature on Raising a Child with Special Needs: A list by Suzanne Kamata   Smart Reading for Mothers: A list by MN Mama   Realistic and affirming books for special needs parents: A list by Mary Lee Moser "Certified Instructor for Journal to the Self" Create a Listmania! list

Search Listmania!

---

So You'd Like to...

Create a guide

Search Guides

---

Product Information from the Amapedia Community

Beta (What's this?)

Be the first person to add an article about this item at Amapedia.com.

› See featured Amapedia.com articles

---

Look for Similar Items by Category

• Books > Biographies & Memoirs > Memoirs
• Books > Health, Mind & Body > Personal Health > Children's Health > Special Needs Children
• Books > Nonfiction > Social Sciences > Sociology
• Books > Parenting & Families > Parenting
• Books > Parenting & Families > Special Needs

---

Look for Similar Items by Subject

Search Books by subject:
Biography And Autobiography
Parent And Child
Biography & Autobiography
Biography / Autobiography
Biography/Autobiography
Biography & Autobiography / Personal Memoirs
Children with Special Needs
Family & Relationships / Children with Special Needs
Family & Relationships / Parenting / General
Parenting - General
Personal Memoirs
Biography
Care
Development
Mothers
Premature infants
United States


i.e., each book must be in subject 1 AND subject 2 AND ...

 

Feedback If you need help or have a question for Customer Service, contact us.  Would you like to update product info or give feedback on images? Is there any other feedback you would like to provide? Your comments can help make our site better for everyone. Please note that we are unable to respond directly to all feedback submitted via this form, but we'll ask you to sign in so we can contact you if needed.

Your Recent History

 (What's this?)

After viewing product detail pages or search results, look here to find an easy way to navigate back to pages you are interested in.

› View and edit your browsing history

Get to Know Us Careers Investor Relations Press Releases Amazon and Our Planet Make Money with Us Sell on Amazon Join Associates Self-publish with Us › See all Let Us Help You Shipping Rates & Policies Amazon Prime Returns Help

Canada | China | France | Germany | Japan | United Kingdom  And don't forget: Amazon Windowshop | AmazonWireless | Askville | Audible | DPReview | Endless | IMDb | Shopbop | SoundUnwound | Warehouse Deals by Amazon | Zappos Conditions of Use | Privacy Notice  © 1996-2009, Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates

Product Details

• Paperback: 272 pages
• Publisher: Mariner Books (July 23, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0547232756
• ISBN-13: 978-0547232751
• Product Dimensions: 7.9 x 5.2 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (17 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #45,143 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

12 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars From sadness to affirmation, June 21, 2009

By	DG (New Jersey, USA) - See all my reviews

The description of this book is heartbreaking, but I came away from reading it moved, overwhelmed, and possessed by the joy you can only feel in the presence of truth. Forman has been through pain that most of us will never experience -- by taking us with her on that journey, we are able to see her growing through sadness, anger and denial into a warrior, teacher and healer who advocates fiercely for her multiply disabled, but no less beautiful or important child. Through her eyes we are able to learn truths that we might never reach on our own; when she writes, "Even a short life is a whole life; this I have learned," I cried, not with anguish, but with joy.

There is a Zen saying, "If you want to find the path, set fire to your own life." By enduring the flames of her rage, pain, and ultimately love, Forman illuminates truths that will stay with me forever. I am grateful for this book.

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Facing the Unimaginable Head-On, July 13, 2009

By	Squid Rosenberg (Bay Area, Baby) - See all my reviews

Vicki Forman begged to let her micropreemie twins slip away from the unimaginable, and was talked into holding on. This Lovely Life is the story of her and her family's lives for the next two years. The author describes -- without vanity, with unyielding honesty -- how the unimaginable encompasses more, asks more than some parents ever thought they could handle -- and the lessons we all can take from such experiences.

Though her journey is underpinned by strength, love, and acceptance, the realities of the author's son's first two years are often brutal. Thankfully Ms. Forman, like Dickey and Nabokov before her, writes so beautifully that I found myself sighing with pleasure at her prose, even though her generosity and story had me in tears.

Please, read this book.

6 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Stunning debut, June 21, 2009

By	KMS - See all my reviews

Vicki Forman's memoir of the premature birth of her twins and the heartbreaking events that follow is a story that raises important questions about life and love, modern medicine and motherhood. Written from the heart--a heart shattered and broken by grief--Forman's story is honest and compelling. With a skillful hand, she draws readers into her world weaving a tale that is at once devastating and life-affirming.

In the forward to the book, fellow author Tom Bissell, writes, "This Lovely Life is less a book one reads than a book one experiences, and no one who gives him- or herself to this writer's terrible, beautiful story will ever be the same again."

Winner of the Bread Loaf Writers' Conference Bakeless Prize, This Lovely Life is a must read, one that will spark important conversations about the sanctity of life and love, and what it truly means to become a parent.