Becoming the Parent You Want To Be: A Sourcebook of Strategies for the First Five Years (Paperback)

~ (Author), Janis Keyser (Contributor) "Principle 1: As parents, it's important that we hold a vision of the kind of parent that we want to be and that we strive..." (more)
Key Phrases: exclusionary play, toilet learning, daily separations, African American, Children's Friendships, New York (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

This may be the best parenting book to come around in years. Laura Davis and Janis Keyser take a straightforward, real, and respectful approach to parenting and children. The book gives solid information on sound child development as well as specific tips that run the gamut from getting your child to sleep to dealing with fear of Halloween to toileting (toilet training) as a metaphor for learning to disciplinary issues. Based on nine principals that deal with issues of time, optimism, struggle, anger, balancing needs, and learning as you go, this book will help you discover and work with your own parenting philosophy.

From Booklist

Most new parents are eager for practical advice and support from others more knowledgeable about the needs of very young children. Davis and Keyser's guide compares favorably to the American Academy of Pediatrics' similarly substantive Caring for Your Baby and Young Child: Birth to Age Five (1991), as it presents a warm, upbeat approach to child rearing. Davis and Keyser assume children are eager to learn, and their parents, to participate actively in their education--a philosophy that animates the nine parenting principles, which include cultivating a spirit of optimism about your children, developing a vision for your family, understanding that parents are always growing, etc., that introduce and provide a framework for the rest of the text. Davis and Keyser weave tips, techniques, and personal stories together to address children's feelings, behaviors, bodies, and relationships fluidly, readably, and confidently. Kathryn Carpenter

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Product Details

• Paperback: 448 pages
• Publisher: Broadway; 1 edition (February 3, 1997)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0553067508
• ISBN-13: 978-0553067507
• Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 7.2 x 1.2 inches
• Shipping Weight: 2 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (26 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #8,117 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

104 of 112 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Great for toddlers and preschoolers, a bit off for babies, April 5, 2000

By A Customer

As everyone so far has written, this is a wonderful, empathetic book. It includes a wealth of information, in a depth rarely found in popular parenting books. As a single mom, I appreciated that the authors do not assume that everyone has the "ideal" two-parent middle class WASP family. However, although the book's subtitle says that it is for the first five years, I find some of its advice on infant care questionable. They think it is okay to let your baby cry to learn independence, if it agrees with the parents' values. They also wrongly claim that "...some children never lose interest in nursing..." and advocate adult-led weaning. Buy this book for helpful information about your toddler and preschooler, but for babies, see the books by Martha and William Sears (The Baby Book, Parenting the Fussy Baby and High Need Child, The Discipline Book) for a more sensitive approach.

32 of 32 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A well-worn and dog-eared favorite in my home, December 5, 2005

By	O. Peterson (New York City) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

I came across this book when my daughter was 3 after searching for a resource to better understand her developmental stages, and to give me some strategies to deal with things like tantrums and demanding behavior. After the birth of her sister, she was angry - and with me being so sleep-deprived, we were 'butting heads' and our relationship seemed to be going in a direction that worried me. I'm so glad I found this book. within the first 100 pages, I felt I already had gathered tools to improve our relationship. Unlike other books, this one teaches through REAL examples, and teaches you to truly see the child's perspective and that in turn gives you the understanding you need to make the right decisions. The moment I actually 'worked through' a tantrum and IT ACTUALLY WORKED I was stunned. I go back to this book so often - especially when in those weak moments I don't handle something the way I would have hoped - and through the real stories of other parents, you are reassured that you are only human and tomorrow is another chance to strive to make the best decisions you can for your child. I have recommended this book to every parent I meet.

20 of 20 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Very good book!!!, March 7, 2006

By	Colleen McKinney (Nunnelly, TN) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

I have read a lot of parenting books and I really love this one. It talks about children's feelings and also the feelings of adults. This book is not just about raising your children, but also raising yourself. She talks about the way society sees things and how we shouldn't worry what society thinks. It also talks about the way we were taught by our own parents and how that can come out with your own children. It shows that feelings of sadness, anger, embarrassment are all natural and we need to let our children know that, but to teach them to express those feelings in good ways. I think this book is a must read for any parent. We need to view our children like they are.....little people with feelings. They are not our property. We are here to guide them and to teach them.