Passages: Predictable Crises of Adult Life (Paperback)

~ (Author) "Without warning, in the middle of my thirties, I had a breakdown of nerve..." (more)
Key Phrases: inner custodian, deferred achiever, phantom parent, New York, Margaret Mead, Trying Twenties (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Product Description

At last, this is your story. You'll recognize yourself, your friends, and your loves. You'll see how to use each life crisis as an opportunity for creative change -- to grow to your full potential. Gail Sheehy's brilliant road map of adult life shows the inevitable personality and sexual changes we go through in our 20s, 30s, 40s, and beyond. The Trying 20s -- The safety of home left behind, we begin trying on life's uniforms and possible partners in search of the perfect fit. The Catch 30s -- illusions shaken, it's time to make, break, or deepen life commitments. The Forlorn 40s -- Dangerous years when the dreams of youth demand reassessment, men and women switch characteristics, sexual panic is common, but the greatest opportunity for self-discovery awaits. The Refreshed (or Resigned) 50s -- Best of life for those who let go old roles and find a renewal of purpose.

From the Publisher

At last, this is your story. You'll recognize yourself, your friends, and your loves. You'll see how to use each life crisis as an opportunity for creative change -- to grow to your full potential. Gail Sheehy's brilliant road map of adult life shows the inevitable personality and sexual changes we go through in our 20s, 30s, 40s, and beyond. The Trying 20s -- The safety of home left behind, we begin trying on life's uniforms and possible partners in search of the perfect fit. The Catch 30s -- illusions shaken, it's time to make, break, or deepen life commitments. The Forlorn 40s -- Dangerous years when the dreams of youth demand reassessment, men and women switch characteristics, sexual panic is common, but the greatest opportunity for self-discovery awaits. The Refreshed (or Resigned) 50s -- Best of life for those who let go old roles and find a renewal of purpose.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 564 pages
• Publisher: Bantam (July 1, 1984)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0553271067
• ISBN-13: 978-0553271065
• Product Dimensions: 6.8 x 4.1 x 1.1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 4 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (13 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #242,615 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

23 of 25 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Very insightful - still relevant today, June 10, 1999

By A Customer

At first I thought this book might not be relevant to me, some 20 years after it was written in a different country. Whilst some of the stereotypical behaviours and social "norms" are different, it is easy to see the translation of the insights to today and in a different country. And while the USA of the 70s is gone this book provided me with a better understanding of some of the (largely unconscious) behaviour of friends, parents and siblings, behaviours which I had not identified or simply taken for granted are now a little easier to fathom. As I read about each life stage I could identify it with those I know and this enabled me to forgive, empathise with and accept a lot which had previously left me hurt and baffled.

Although fairly young (35) I can already see some of the patterns at play which Gail describes. I don't care if it's not original work or if the lifetstyles are different and the social pressures altered, this book is still very applicable to those who can objectively view themselves and those around them.

This book looks at middle and upper middle class university graduates (called "college" graduates in the US) with primarily professional vocations in accounting, law, medicine etc (stangely little mention of engineers!). Also, I suspect the people are largely private school educated. Whilst people in other circustances might be under different pressures, I have seen similar crises and cycles in a wide range of people. A perceptive reader would learn from this book, nomatter their circumstances.

19 of 21 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars It finally makes sense, August 14, 2000

By	Jose Solera (Durham, NC USA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

Amazon Verified Purchase

After trying to figure out why the disenchantment with work as I hit 40, this book has explained it! Although some of the data used is out of date, the findings are still very valid.

I recommend it to those trying to figure out how to navigate through life.

50 of 65 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars Relevant, but only if..., March 20, 2004

By A Customer

you're in your mid-50s, White, wealthy, live in posh suburbs on the coast, spent the last 30 years climbing (steadily) up the corporate ladder to VP status or are counting your millions as a sucessfull entrepreneur. If not (blue collar, high school grad, struggle to pay the bills every month, can barely afford health insurance), this tome will remind you of NOTHING in your life...because your 20s, 30s, 40s, and 50s have been one blur of dead-end jobs, loss of purchasing power, long hours, low pay, etc.

As authors far more talented and original than Sheehy observed 200 years ago, leisure is a function of wealth and privelege, and only the leisure class has the time or money to spend "contemplating" their lives on a by-the-minute basis..."passages" between the wunderkind preppie years to the grasping yuppie to the ostentatious wealthy world of illegal domestics, fine wine, expensive SUVs, private schools, and a flow of other lifestyle perks.

BTW, this is hardly the rant of a repressed Marxist. MBA, college professor, US military officer, etc. I found Sheehy's work irritating over 20 years ago, and the previous 20 years of listening to whining yuppies echo her Deep Philosophy on Life has done little to change my opinion.