Finally Getting It Right (Paperback)

~ Howard Halpern (Author)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

With a minimum of psychological jargon, psychotherapist Halpern ( Cutting Loose: An Adult Guide to Coming to Terms with Your Parents ) here proffers advice on how to break an addiction to the wrong person or end a pattern of involvement with unsatisfying partners. According to the author, people are "destined" to repeat unhealthy relationships because of childhood experiences with parents or other significant adults, or because they are trying to fill a void. For example, a woman may be obsessed with an ungiving man because she's still trying to win the love of a cold father. Or a man may be attracted to undependable, emotional women because they provide the excitement he feels is lacking in his life. By getting to the root of the unhealthy attraction, we can say good-bye to hurtful relating patterns and open the door to loving, mature relationships. The final chapter consists of questions and answers about love from Halpern's syndicated newspaper column, "On Your Own." Case histories and black-and-white cartoons add a human (and humorous) dimension. This compassionate and witty book should encourage readers stuck in unfulfilling relationships to do better for themselves.
Copyright 1994 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

From Kirkus Reviews

Practical advice by psychotherapist Halpern (How to Break Your Addition to a Person, 1982) on how to end a bad relationship and expand your capacity to have a good one. Halpern's thesis is a simple one: If you are in a good relationship, you will feel better about yourself and your life. To achieve this ``you must give up your lifelong task of trying to make someone unavailable available, someone ungiving giving and someone unloving loving.'' Halpern's common-sense, pop-psych approach is readable and candid. He encourages his readers to analyze just what it is about themselves that causes them to be attracted to people they should be avoiding. There are plenty of clich‚s, but for the most part Halpern eschews pat, one-size-fits- all formulas, and he doesn't talk down to his readers or get self- promoting like so many of his colleagues in this genre. He offers valuable insights into what kinds of romantic expectations are realistic. In a chapter on ``Navigating Love's Paradoxes'' he shows how the road to a love relationship is ``replete with contradictions'' -- such as the desire to be independent and the need to be ``dependably connected.'' Using the how-to format to best advantage, Halpern offers many checklists (including those that test one's capacity to receive love and those that evaluate one's relationship), realistic case histories, and a bibliography that ranges from Sigmund Freud to Judith Kuriansky. Readers with the guts to pick up this book might well be able to break out of their unhealthy relationships and ``finally get it right.'' -- Copyright ©1994, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 272 pages
• Publisher: Bantam (February 1, 1995)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0553370782
• ISBN-13: 978-0553370782
• Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.3 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #791,242 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

12 of 12 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars One of the best self-help books ever written, January 4, 1999

By A Customer

If you have even been in a less-than-satisfying relationship, and particularly if you have ever had difficulty separating from such a relationship, this may be the book for you! Of the 9-10 highly recommended self-help books I read during a very difficult time, this one was the most insightful and most helpful to me. In fact, looking back at it after a year in a very satisfying and fullfilling relationship, I think the first 9 chapters almost "saved my life....or at least, my sanity!"This is an extention to Halpern's highly successful "How to Break Your Addition to a Person." I found the present book first and never felt the need to read the first book, although I later glanced at it. I think the first few chapters in the present book probably capture the essence of the first book. The book in HIGHLY readable. I think if this book were more widely read, there would be MANY more people in happier relationships.