To Love and Be Loved (Paperback)

by Sam Keen (Author) "A letter from a 42-year-old woman whom I do not know states the matter with painful clarity: "I can't find any meaning in my life..." (more)
Key Phrases: sympathetic enjoyment, Gabriel Marcel, New Age

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review
The author of the New York Times bestseller Fire In the Belly turns his attention to love: what it is, why we try to attain it, and how to succeed at it. Sam Keen, a philosopher with Ivy League credentials, is able to write in a flowing, conversational style that conveys poetic ideas in accessible and subtly humorous prose. To Love and Be Loved is a hybrid of a psychological self-help text and a romantic memoir. Keen the scholar found himself studying Keen the lover. "In the course of writing this book, I have been frequently embarrassed to discover that I know more about love than I put into practice," Keen admits in a typically humble passage. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Kirkus Reviews
The prolific Keen (Hymns to an Unknown God: Awakening the Spirit in Everyday Life, 1994; Fire in the Belly, 1991; etc.) sets out to explore why we obstinately hide from the knowledge that love (of one's family, one's labors, and of some one significant other) ``is the way, the truth, and the life,'' and to suggest how we may deal with those fears and find the kind of love that makes us feel ``rooted'' and secure in our lives. Mixing some frank autobiographical recollections with brief aphoristic explorations of love's nature and rewards, and mingling lists of questions for readers intent on analyzing their behavior with specific examples of those haplessly in pursuit of love in all the wrong places, Keen provides a deft review, often insightful (and even moving), flawed by its declamatory style and somewhat confused organization. More shrewdly self-aware than many self-help books, but still too dogmatic, too much of a fix-it manual, to provide a penetrating and original meditation on love. -- Copyright ©1997, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 256 pages
• Publisher: Bantam (May 4, 1999)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0553375288
• ISBN-13: 978-0553375282
• Product Dimensions: 7.5 x 5 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 6.9 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #344,773 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

14 of 15 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Life's lessons on love in plain english, November 26, 2000

By A Customer

I liked Sam Keen's "A Passionate Life" very much, considering it to be the best summary by one author on what we might hope for if we choose to live life more fully. This book, 10 years later, is also very rich. Sam has a wonderful way of opening himself up and sharing both his loves and his losses with the reader. This man has clearly done his work and he admits he is still learning.

I normally won't read any book that gives me a numbered list of things I'm supposed to remember or incorporate into my life. Sam has a list of 16 qualities of love (if I recall correctly) and I stayed with him through them all. The simplicity of his approach and power of his writing make it work, e.g. the first quality of love Sam describes is Attention. And guess what? I realize on reflection how little attention I give to others in my life, and how little I get back. That is a good starting place for improving my capacity as a loving person and it is easy to remember. So typical of Sam's clarity and authenticity.

I agree with the earlier review that this book should be read in bits. It took me several months (and it is a small book). The richness and the depth of this book required that I frequently stop and reflect. Highly recommended.

11 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Love is . . ., June 10, 2001

By	JMack (Chicago) - See all my reviews (TOP 1000 REVIEWER)

I have been a fan of Sam Keen since I read his book "Fire in the Belly" a few years back. I have not read any of Keen's other books until this book captured my interest in the bookstore.

Keen makes the argument that love is often misunderstood by those who claim to be in the know. Keen argues that love is not the same in all situations. Their are different types of love in different types of situations. Keen uses stories from his own life and the lives of others to demonstrate his thesis. The is the love one feels for their mate, their children, their friend, and their supreme being.

Keen's explanation of marriage is what stocks out most about this book. Keen dispells the myth of soul mates. A couple does not perefectly melt into each other but is able conform to each other and understand each other's needs. We all probably don't have perfect mates, but a number of mates could complement us well.

Many readers will be disappointed to find that this book is not really related to sex. Although sex is part of love, love is what makes life worth living. Sex without love lacks substance.

9 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Book to Rejuvenate your Soul, March 24, 2000

By A Customer

If you're looking for a kind book to refresh your spirits, then this is it. The tone of the book is warmth, patience, and gentle guidance. The first part of the book covers the art of being a great lover. Part II, which I found most useful, identifies the elements of love. These are best explored one chapter at a time, with plenty of time to reflect on his writings.